The Friday Night Horror Movie: Good Boy (2025)

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The idea of a horror movie told from the perspective of a dog is a good one.  It’s a great one, actually. It seems so simple you wonder why it hasn’t ever been done before. The execution of Good Boy is mostly good too. Except for a few shots, it isn’t from the dog’s POV or anything, but the camera is often set down low, from the height a dog would normally see. The dog’s owner, Todd (Shane Jensen), barely has his face on screen. If you’ve ever had a dog suddenly look out a window into darkness or bark at a door when no one was outside, then you know the feeling this movie gives you.

There isn’t a whole lot of plot to describe. Todd has some kind of disease. The kind that makes him cough up blood regularly. The film opens on him unconscious, lying on his couch with the dog Indy (a very good dog, indeed) sitting by his feet. Todd’s sister Vera (Arielle Friedman) discovers him there and calls for an ambulance. 

Upon release, he moves to his dead grandfather’s old home in the woods. Vera constantly calls Todd with concerns over his health, to his increased annoyance. The house is old and creepy and possibly haunted. Indy regularly feels a dark presence there. Sometimes he sees something lurking in the shadows. Sometimes it does more than lurk. This is the type of film that will linger in a wide shot inside the house. After a long beat, something will move, or a shadow will become a creature. I found myself always looking in the backgrounds to find some new horror.

It is a mood film with jump scares.

I dug all of that. But the script has problems. Nothing is very well defined. My expectations were that Todd would be attacked in some way by the monster and Indy would triumphantly save him. I would have even accepted Todd dying early in the film and the rest of it being Indy trying to survive the monster like a Final Girl.

But Todd hardly even notices the evil presence. It might be attacking him. It might be making him sicker.  Or it might be possessing him somehow. But none of that is clear. At one point I thought the monster might just be a metaphor for his illness.

Indy is more of a passive observer than a hero. It would have been incredibly obnoxious to have him barking at everything the entire movie, but he just sits there watching weird shadows appear and nightmare monsters attack without hardly even growling. 

All of this makes the film fairly inert. There isn’t much forward motion to it. The plot never seems to go anywhere, but the themes—what the film is trying to say—are more muddled than clear.

I’m glad I watched it. I really do think the concept is a good one, and the execution is well done. I just wish there was more to it.

The Friday Night Horror Movie: Horror Rises From the Tomb (1973)

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Paul Naschy was a Spanish writer/actor/director who is most known for a series of horror films he made where he starred as a werewolf named Count Waldemar Daninsky. The films are mostly unconnected to one another except that he plays a werewolf with the same name, but there is no continuity to be found within them. I’ve seen a couple of them and quite enjoyed the watch. So much so that I found a collection of Naschy films boxed up in a Blu-ray set and put them on my wishlist for Christmas.  My lovely wife bought them for me, and I opened them up tonight to start watching.

What I failed to recognize when I put this set on my wish list was that these films are just random Paul Naschy films, not a collection of his werewolf movies. Still, in for a penny, in for a pound, so I put on the first one and hoped for the best. 

According to the liner notes (and Wikipedia), Naschy was told by the producers they wanted to make a film with him, but in order to do so, they needed a script ASAP. So he popped some pills and sat down to write, pounding out the script to Horror Rises from the Grave in 36 hours.

It definitely feels like a movie whose script was written in 36 hours. There is very little story to it, and it plays like Naschy just took every horror movie he loved and blended them together. Then added copious amounts of gore effects and enough naked breasts to make Cinemax on a Saturday night blush.

Still, it is pretty fun to watch.

It begins in medieval times, where a warlock called Alaric de Marnac (Paul Naschy) and his witch companion Mabille de Lancre (Helga Line) are executed (he has his head chopped off, she is burned alive) for Satanism.

Flash forward to the present, and a group of young people, including Hugo de Marnac (also Paul Naschy) head out to Hugo’s ancestral grounds, where a psychic medium told them the bones of Alaric de Marnac are buried. They figure it will be fun to dig up an old warlock (also there might be treasure).

Naturally, they find the bones. Naturally, when they do, all hell breaks loose. But it is a strange sort of hell. This is where the rushed script becomes apparent. Eventually old Alaric de Marnac will rise from the grave, but first his severed head seems to mesmerize some local townsfolk, and then some of Hugo’s friends, where they go about killing everyone in sight. Later, some of those dead folks will rise, zombie-like, and wreak havoc. Alaric de Marnac takes a couple of our heroes as slaves, and one pretty (and scantily clothed) lady has her blood drained onto the bones of Mabille de Lancre, which brings her back to life.

The movie pretty much exists so that our villains can kill our heroes with full gruesomeness and pretty ladies can run around in sheer nightgowns taking their tops off (with echoes of the vampire films of Jean Rollin).  It does do both of those things very well, so who am I to complain? There are some interesting transitions, and the gore effects are good. It is goofy and dumb, but if you like that sort of thing, this film is pretty fun.

One of the bonus features on my Blu-ray is a selection of alternate “clothed” scenes. Some theaters in Spain at the time didn’t allow nudity, so they shot those scenes twice, once without clothes once with them on.  I thought that was pretty funny.

The Friday Night Horror Movie: Cronos (1992)

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I find I have mixed feelings about Guillermo del Toro. He’s clearly a great visual stylist, and his apparent love of cinema imbues all of his films with a certain reverent love, but I find his stories to be hit or miss.  Because of that, I’ve been putting off watching his first film, Cronos, afraid that I’d be disappointed.

I was not.

With caveats.

Cronos is basically a vampire story, though one that is different from any vampire story I’ve ever seen. It begins with a prologue where we’re informed that in the 1500s some alchemist invented a scarab-looking device that will prolong one’s life forever. 

Flash to the present, and Jesús Gri (Federico Luppi) finds the scarab hidden in the bottom of a statue a strange man left in his shop. He fiddles with it, and it opens; the scarab’s legs extend, grabbing his arm, while a stinger pricks his skin. Inside the scarab, we see a living creature sucking the blood.

The next morning, Jesús feels good.  And he looks younger. Also, he’s got a hankering for some blood. At a party a man has a nosebleed, and Jesús laps it up like a dog.  Then he’s bumped on the head and killed. Or not killed, as he can no longer die.

The killer is Angel de la Guardia (a young Ron Pearlman). He’s the son of Dieter de la Guardia (Claudio Brook), a rich, dying man who’s been trying to find the scarab for many years. He’s got a book that tells you how to use the scarab. He wants to make a deal with Jesús so they can both live together.  Or he’ll just kill Jesús and take the scarab. Either way is fine.

There is also a little girl named Aurora (Tamara Shanath) who is Jesús’ granddaughter, and Mercedes (Margarita Isabel), his wife. Del Toro tries to do a lot with them emotionally, but they feel underwritten. Especially Mercedes. 

There are some of the tropes of vampire movies – Jesús feels pain at sunlight, Aurora builds him a coffin to sleep in. And some utterly wild additions – Jesús’ skin peels off revealing a blindingly white skin underneath.

It definitely feels like a first movie, but the practical effects are mostly terrific. Del Toro has always been a master of those. It is a lot of fun watching Perlman at this stage of his career, acting a bit more goofy than menacing. The whole thing is well worth your time.

The Friday Night Horror Movie: Dr. Jekyll and Sister Hyde (1971)

dr jekyll and sister hyde poster

As I put on this film, my wife asked me if I would watch as many Hammer Horror films if she wasn’t around. She doesn’t like horror films, you see; she can’t stand the violence, the gore, and the scares. But she enjoys the Hammer films, as they are a little bit cheesy but well produced and not all that scary. I answered in the negative, as I probably would not watch as many films from the famed studio without her. Oh, I’d still watch their films, but I do have a habit of putting them on when I want to watch a horror film with her. It is either Hammer or Universal, and I’ve seen all the Universal films.

As you have probably surmised, Dr. Jekyll and Sister Hyde is based on the novella Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde by Robert Louis Stevenson. This was the third time Hammer Studios had adapted that novella. The previous two were The Ugly Duckling (1959) and The Two Faces of Dr. Jekyll (1960). 

As the change of title suggests, this film takes quite a few liberties with the text and throws in some strong references to Jack the Ripper and Burke & Hare (the historical grave robbers/murderers). 

Dr. Henry Jekyll (Ralph Bates) has dedicated his life to creating an elixir that will cure all known illnesses. But when his friend and libertine Professor Robertson (Gerald Sim) points out that it will take him more years than he has left to create such an elixir, Jekyll becomes obsessed with finding a life-extending potion.  He believes that since women live longer than men on average, the solution to his problem lies in female hormones.

He at first enlists Burke and Hare to provide him with fresh corpses from which to extract those hormones, but soon enough he’ll turn to murdering sex workers. His elixir transforms him into a woman whom he pretends is his sister named Mrs. Hyde (Martine Beswick). While Jekyll is a bit reserved, and shy (especially around women, specifically his upstairs neighbor Susan (Susan Broderick)), and dedicated to his work, Hyde is wild, sexy, passionate, and a bit mad.

There is no actual indication the elixir will prolong life, but Jekyll is obsessed with it anyway. The more hormones he extracts, the more often he changes into Hyde. The more often he changes into Hyde, the more she wants to be the dominant person. Eventually, she’ll stop needing the hormones and be able to change him at will. This then becomes a battle of wills, with each personality fighting for dominance.

There are some fascinating queer/trans readings of the films that I don’t feel qualified to comment on, but they are out there if you look for them. I’m not sure the film is all that interested in diving into gender and sexual politics, but it is quite fascinating to ponder them nonetheless. There is a rather funny scene when Jekyll first transforms into Hyde where she fondles her naked breasts with curiosity. I found the gender twist to be a fascinating change to the usual Jekyll/Hyde story.  Martine Beswick is quite good as Hyde, giving the character a heightened sexuality and freedom. She’s not evil exactly (well, I mean she does quite a bit of murdering), but rather she longs to be freed from the body of Jekyll and his rather oppressed nature. 

Production-wise, the film enjoys Hammer’s usual excellent set designs and costumes. Director Roy Ward Baker and cinematographer Norman Warwick make great use of fog machines, making the nighttime London streets look quite eerie and beautiful. There are some wonderful transition scenes as well, making Jekyll’s transformation into Hyde quite believable. 

The romantic scenes between Jekyll and Susan feel a bit superfluous and dull (Hyde’s seduction of Susan’s brother is much more fun to watch), and its attempts to either turn Jekyll into Jack the Ripper or at least make him some sort of copycat feel a bit tacked on, but mostly I quite enjoyed this film.  If you are a fan of Hammer’s Horror output or Dr. Jekyll adaptations, I highly recommend it.

The Friday Night Horror Movie: Dracula Has Risen From the Grave (1968)

dracula has risen from the grave

Hammer Studios made nine Dracula films. I’ve seen all but one of them (Dracula A.D. 1972), but I’ve watched them all randomly and out of order. Which makes me get the timelines all screwed up in my head. I thought this one was the third in the series, but it is actually the fourth.

One year after the previous film (Dracula: Prince of Darkness), the village that Dracula terrorized still lives in fear. A visiting Monsignor, Ernst Mueller (Rupert Davies) berates the local priest (Ewan Hooper) for not holding mass. The priest, who has lost his faith and is found sitting drunk in a tavern, informs the Monsignor that his flock will no longer enter the church for the shadow of Castle Dracula still falls upon it.

The Monsignor grabs a giant cross, takes hold of the priest, and climbs the mountain toward the castle. The priest stops short of the castle while the Monsignor gives it a good exorcism and plants the cross at the front door.  The poor, dumb priest stumbles, cuts his head, and falls onto the frozen creek where Dracula (Christopher Lee) died in the last film. The ice cracks, the priest’s blood pours into Dracula’s mouth, and we get our title for this film.

The priest becomes Dracula’s slave, and Monsignor goes home. Dracula, unable to enter his castle, vows his revenge on the Monsignor and goes after his niece Maria (Veronica Carlson). She’s very much in love with our dopey hero, Paul (Barry Andrews). He’s an atheist, which very much annoys the Monsignor.

There are a lot of boring bits in the middle of this film. That beginning is pretty great, and the finale is excellent, but between the two are lots of filler. Paul works at a bakery/inn, but he studies at night to become a doctor or something. There are scenes of him working and talking to the flirty waitress (Barbara Ewing). He visits the Monsignor and Maria’s aunt. He gets drunk, and he kisses Maria. Etc. It all seems to exist to stretch the budget and the runtime to the appropriate amount. Dracula eventually shows up, sucks the neck of the waitress, and seduces Maria. It will be up to the Monsignor and Paul to save the day. The final battle is a good one, but lord, does it take its time getting there.

It does look amazing. Hammer was always good at making wonderful sets that look completely lived in and painting spectacular backdrops, and they certainly did that here. Maria often sneaks out of her home and walks across balconies and rooftops to visit Paul, and this gives some wonderful views of the town below from above. I believe it was all set work, and it looks great.

All in all, it is another fine addition to the Hammer Horror annals. It could have been a real classic if they’d spent a little more time developing the middle section, but the beginning and ending is well worth the watching.

The Friday Night Horror Movie: The Strangers: Chapter 1 (2024)

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This film has been popping up in my feeds and the like for a while now. A brief preview of some of my friends’ Letterboxd reviews noted it to be pretty dumb but enjoyable; also, there is a sequel in theaters now, and I’m trying to watch as many movies from 2025 as i can this month, so I pressed “play.” 

I should have taken a nap.  Or rewatched one of the Halloween movies for the umpteenth time. Or smashed my thumb with a hammer.  Any of those would have been more enjoyable than this movie.

Maya (Madelaine Petsch) and her boyfriend Ryan (Froy Gutierrez) are in the midst of a cross-country drive that will end in Portland, where Maya has a job interview. Because nothing makes you more refreshed and ready for an all-important interview like being stuck in a car for days on end.

Ryan says he’s hungry, and Maya looks at the map on her phone, spies a little diner, and tells him to exit now. I submit it is possible that there are people in this world who, while in the midst of a multi-day drive across the country, simply whip out their phones when they are hungry and choose the very first restaurant they see without looking at a menu or reading reviews on Yelp, but that was my first red flag that this movie was playing it fast and loose with plot details.

The cafe is in a tiny little town in Oregon. It is far enough off the highway that they lose their cell phone signal, but big enough, apparently, to have a good signal inside of town. Except, they actually note how big the town is, and it only has, like, 350 people. Like an old-fashioned movie, everybody in the surprisingly full cafe stops what they are doing and stares at the newcomers. 

They are all shocked – shocked I tell you – that she wants a vegetarian plate. They are even more shocked when they realize our heroes are celebrating their five year anniversary – but not of marriage, just dating. Apparently the citizens of this small town are very conservative. Not that any of this seems to matter to the actual plot, it’s just a chance for the film to add a little atmosphere.

Lunch over, they head to their car and find that it doesn’t start. A creepy mechanic appears out of nowhere (the film will do this a lot – hide somebody skulking around from the audience’s point of view and pretend  the characters somehow wouldn’t notice a person walking right up to them and staring.) He says they’ll have to order some parts, and our heroes will have to spend the night. Luckily, there is a really nice cabin in the woods that gets “rented on the internet.”

At the cabin they sit outide and they enjoy the quiet of the woods. Then they start a little sexy time. Ryan lifts her up and takes her to…not the bedroom, but the kitchen. Because where else do you go for a little sexy time in a stranger’s house but their kitchen counters?

The doorbell interrupts their fun, and some creepy girl stands outside awkwardly. Everyone stares at each other for some ridiculously long beats, and then she asks if someone or the other is home. Ryan gives her a harsh “no” while Maya indicates she must have the wrong house. Then they stare at each other in silence for a while. It s so awkward and weird this scene. Any normal person would assume that maybe the guy who owns the place has a daughter who plays with this young girl.  Any normal person would explain that they are renting the place for the night. 

Girl leaves, and our heroes get their sexy time (on the couch, not the bed, because there will be a “spooky” reveal in the bedroom later). And then, oops, our heroes realize they accidentally left his asthma inhaler in the car. Because what normal people would definitely do when they are leaving their car for the night in an old auto shop miles away from where they will be spending the night with no modes of transportation is not make sure they have a life saving medical device. And it wasn’t knocked under the seat. It was sitting right there in the console.

So Ryan gets on a motorcycle that is for some reason left on the property with the keys and rides back to town. He gets the inhaler and then some food (ordering her a cheeseburger without the met – so just bread and cheese, I guess).  While he’s gone, she drinks three small bottles of hard liquor and a bottle of beer. 

She also calls the owner of the place because the refrigerator is out and essentially demands that he send someone that night to fix it. Despite the fact that the only thing they have to keep cool is a six pack of beer, they will be leaving in the morning. The fridge will not come into play for the rest of the movie.  Not even when the evildoers start showing up and knocking on the door. It would have been an easy jump scare for our heroes to think the person at the door was a refrigerator repairman only to find out it was someone with nefarious intent. But whatever.

The creepy girl knocks on the door again while Ryan is out. Maya doesn’t open the door but is pretty freaked out by it. So what does she do in this frightened state inside a strange cabin in the woods while her boyfriend is away? She smokes a blunt, then takes a shower. That’s what everybody would do, right?

The thing is, while Maya has been alone in the cabin, we have seen the creeps staring at her from inside and outside the house. Maya plays some music on a piano, and one of them sits on a chair behind her. When she takes a shower, someone comes inside the bathroom and watches. They would surely make some noise moving around like that.  Unless she’s completely oblivious, she would surely see them.

Whatever, horror movie tropes and all that. Eventually, Ryan comes home, and the creeps attack for good. More stupid decisions are made, including never calling the cops and not just high-tailing it out of there. At one point Ryan has a shotgun and the killers only have blades, but he still tells Maya to go run through the woods while he stays there. And doesn’t shoot them.

I’ve rattled on for too long. I just couldn’t believe how dumb this film was.  I expect characters to make stupid decisions in horror films because otherwise the film would be over in ten minutes, but the characters in this film never make even one sensible decision.

It ends with a “To Be Continued” and while I hated this film, I kind of want to see the sequel (there will be a third one, too). Also, apparently, this is an attempt to reboot a Strangers franchise. The original The Strangers was made in 2005 and a sequel came out in 2018. I might have to watch them all as punishment for my sins.

The Friday Night Horror Movie: Five Night’s At Freddy’s 2 (2025)

five nights at freddys

My daughter is a big fan of the Five Nights at Freddy’s video games, and all their supplemental material, including the movies. Her mother took her and some friends to see the first movie on opening night in the theater. She loved it, and when it came to streaming, she made me watch it with her. I remember absolutely nothing about the movie. I gave it three stars on Letterboxd but I suspect at least half a star was due to her excitement over watching it again. Exuberance is catching.

She has been super excited over the sequel for weeks now, and she talked me into buying her and three friends tickets to it for opening night tonight. They are old enough to go to the theater alone now, so the wife and I were looking forward to a quiet night at home.

Unfortunately, one of the friends got sick, and not being ones to let good money go to waste, the wife and I drew straws to see who would take the now empty seat. I drew the short straw. You would think that if my daughter’s excitement encouraged me to enjoy the last movie while watching it by ourselves at home, then a packed theater full of excited fans would make this viewing even more enjoyable. You would be wrong. The reasons for this are twofold: 

  1. It has been a long week, and I was tired. I was in no mood to go to the theater and watch a movie I wasn’t really interested in.
  2. Those excited fans were all teenagers.

The two boys sitting next to me (I’d put their age at 15) talked through the entire movie. I hate when people talk during movies.But then I realized my daughter’s friends were also talking through parts of the film and excitedly pointing at the screen when someone happened that they recognized from the games. I listened to the boys talk, and they two were just excited to be there, and were having a good time, So why shouldn’t I enjoy myself?

The movie isn’t good. I’ve never played the game, but I can see the appeal of wandering around an old, dark, abandoned amusement palace where animatronic robots jump out and try to kill you. But that doesn’t translate very well to the movies. Especially when the movie attempts to build things like character and story into the murdering robot movie.

Mike Schmidt (Josh Hutcherson) seems to have recovered from the events of the first movie (which happened a year ago) and more or less has his stuff together. His daughter Abby (Piper Rubio) misses the friends she made back then (and remember, her friends were actually the ghosts of five murdered children inhabiting those animatronic robots). Vanessa (Elizabeth Lail) also returns from the first movie, but she’s still haunted by the past. 

The story of what happened on those five nights one year ago has become something of a legend in town. People love the stories and, in fact, are planning an anniversary party of sorts where they will all dress up as the robots and have a carnival.

There is also a science fair about to happen, and Abby is working on a robot submission (when that fails, guess what robot will come to her aid?). Apparently the school of this small town is cool enough to have an entire robotics department. It is led by a vicious and mean teacher (played to perfection by Wayne Knight) who will surely get his comeuppance.

Matthew Lillard returns in flashbacks and Skeet Ulrich shows up at one point making it a mini-Scream reunion.

Yada, yada, yada, there is some lore building (and no doubt plenty of references to the games I haven’t played). Abby is getting a spirit called from some other dead girl who needs her to come to the original Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza to help the animatronic robots flee the restaurant and wreak havoc on the town.

There are a few decent jump scares, and the scenes in the pizzeria have a certain eeriness to them, but mostly the film is just dumb. I suspect a lot of that is the translation from game to screen. Things that work well when you are playing a game are pretty idiotic when watching it happen in a movie.

For example, the original Freddy’s has some kind of fake river flowing through it. It is maybe three  feet deep, and the walls surrounding it go up another foot or two. It would not be a difficult thing to climb out of. Twice characters fall into it and can’t get out of it. Another time a character has to log into a computer and try and shut down the Wi-Fi signal (which is what controls the robots). We see a lot of screenshots with him clicking through boxes. Both of these things seem very much like something you’d deal with effectively in a game, but on screen…boring.

But the girls had fun, and sometimes that’s all that matters.

The Friday Night Horror Movie: Heart Eyes (2025)

heart eyes

I was about halfway through Heart Eyes before I realized that it was directed by the same guy who made Werewolves Within (2021), Josh Ruben. I quite liked that movie. It was smart and funny and clever about the way it played with its genre.  Heart Eyes isn’t nearly as clever, and it winks a little too hard at the audience, like it is constantly letting the audience know that it  knows it’s just a movie. 

The genre it’s playing with is the slasher genre, and that’s a genre that’s had more than its fair share of meta commentary. The Scream films have pretty well bled that well dry. I’m being a little too harsh; there are parts of Heart Eyes that I really enjoyed, and the parts I didn’t like as much were still well made and entertaining.

A serial killer has been terrorizing lovers across the United States every Valentine’s Day for the last several years. This year he’s moved to Seattle, where we find our heroes Ally McCabe (Olivia Holt) and Jay Simmons (Mason Gooding.) She works in advertising and has just completed a campaign for a jewelry company where she spoofs the lives and bloody deaths of various doomed couples like Bonnie and Clyde. The boss lady previously approved it but now hates it because she feels it is in bad taste considering the Heart Eyes Killer has come to their town.  She hires Jay to come in and fix things.

They go to dinner to talk about the new campaign. Things don’t go well, he leaves, and she chases him down to apologize. Outside she sees her ex-boyfriend with a new girl. In an attempt to make him jealous, Ally gives Jay a big kiss on the lips. The Heart Eyes Killer sees this, thinks they are true lovers, and spends the rest of the movie trying to kill them.

There are some very funny moments when the two of them try to convince the killer that they aren’t in love and that he should go kill someone else. Eventually Jordana Brewster shows up as a detective trying to solve the murders. When a ring shows up at one of the crime scenes with the initials JS on it, she starts to think Jay Simmons just might be her man.

I won’t spoil it, but fairly early on it is easy to figure out who really might be involved.

One of the difficulties of a film like this for me is that the slasher genre has been done to death. There aren’t really any more clever ways to kill a person. Heart Eyes tries, even in its own knowing way, but never does anything all that clever or interesting. There is a nice set piece set inside a drive-in theater that is both funny and exciting. 

The film also has that super slick look that so many modern horror films have. Cameras have become so cheap and so good at their jobs that you don’t necessarily need the tech and the lighting you once needed. That’s not a bad thing, but sometimes modern horror films wind up a little too glossy for my tastes.

But overall this is a perfectly enjoyable film, and I’m very much looking forward to watching what Josh Ruben makes next.

The Friday Night Horror Movie: Frankenstein (2025)

frankenstein

I don’t believe I’ve ever read Mary Shelley’s novel Frankenstein; or, The Modern Prometheus, but I have seen several different cinematic adaptations of it. I’ve seen the 1931 film with Boris Karloff, of course, and all the sequels from Universal. I’ve seen several of the Hammer Studio versions and that one from the 1990s with Robert DeNiro. I guess it is safe to say I like the story, or perhaps I just like the monster.

Guillermo del Toro is a director whom I like but don’t really love. He’s an incredibly creative creator, and his films have an amazing visual style, but his stories rarely do it for me.

I don’t know why I tell you these things except that I guess when a beloved director takes on a beloved story, it feels like I should begin by expressing my feelings toward both things before I tackle how I feel about their collaboration.

For del Toro’s part, he’s apparently loved the story for decades and dreamed of making his own adaptation of it. I am reminded of Martin Scorsese’s The Gangs of New York, which was likewise a film the director had wanted to make for decades, yet when he finally got to do it, the film was compromised and became far less than his greatest film and presumably fell far from his aspirations.  I don’t know if del Toro’s film was compromised by Netflix or anyone else, but the end result is overlong and overstuffed, and if it were to be given a subtitle like the novel, it might go something like this: Frankenstein; or, Be Careful What You Wish For.

The good news is the film looks absolutely amazing, even via streaming. Del Toro’s visual sensibilities have never been stronger. Frankenstein’s castle is a maze of gothic sensibilities and steampunk technology. The exteriors exist with beautiful mountain-strewn landscapes that made me want to grab my passport and head for the mountains of Eastern Europe. The acting is good across the board, especially Oscar Isaac as Victor Frankenstein and Jacob Elordi as the monster. And I always love to see Mia Goth in anything.

The problem, then, lies in the story. As I mentioned, I have not read the book, so I have no idea if this version is more faithful than the films I’ve seen, or less. It begins with a prelude. On an ice strewn sea somewhere,  a ship full of Russian sailors is desperately trying to break through the ice and make it to the North Pole.  They hear a noise and see flames rise somewhere toward the horizon. They run in that direction and find Victor Frankenstein badly wounded, near death.

Then the monster comes.  It is fierce and dangerous and apparently impervious to bullets. It kills many men and screams Victor’s name. The sailors manage to get Victor aboard the ship and blow up the ice around the monster, sinking him into the frozen abyss. 

Victor then tells the captain his tale, which makes up Part 1 of the film. It is more or less the story we all know. We do get a little more backstory on Victor. We see him as a child being taught by a demanding father (a wonderful Charles Dance) and being doted on by his mother.  Then one by one her parents die, and he becomes estranged from his brother. 

He becomes a doctor with wild ideas about life and death and is shunned by the community. He meets Henrich Harlande (Christoph Waltz), who is intrigued by his ideas. He gives him all the funding and supplies he needs and sets him up in an isolated castle. 

He makes the monster but is disappointed when he doesn’t seem intelligent. The estranged brother comes back, and with him his fiancée, Lady Elizabeth Harlander (Mia Goth,) whom Victor falls in love with. It is Elizabeth that sparks the humanity inside the monster. Still, Victor tries to destroy him.

Part II picks up from there and tells the monster’s side of the story. He survives Victor’s murder attempt and flees to the forest. There he is taken in by a kindly, blind, old man (David Bradley) and learns to read and about friendship. Eventually he must leave, for he knows he cannot die, and he desires a companion. A companion only Victor Frankenstein can create. Slowly we’ll be brought back around to the prelude, and finally the film’s end.

It isn’t that the story is bad, but perhaps that it has been told too many times before, so it can no longer be made interesting. Del Tor does try. He keeps some things familiar but adds many other things, and even the familiar ones he plays with. But at 2 and a half hours, it is far too long and has far too many parts that just drag. 

One wonders if del Toro is too big of a name now that no one was willing to tell him “no.” With pet projects like this, sometimes that’s exactly what you need.  It is well worth watching for the acting and the stunning visuals. I just wish the story they are telling was more worthy of the artistry behind it.

The Friday Night Horror Movie: Demon Knight (1995)

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When I was in college, I went to the movies pretty much every weekend. Sometimes two or three times. I saw absolutely everything that I had even the slightest amount of interest in. I probably did have interest in Demon Knight when it came out, as I liked horror comedies. But I honestly don’t remember. What I do remember is watching it in the theater and absolutely loving it. 

Demon Knight is branded as a Tales From the Crypt story. Tales From the Crypt originated as an anthology horror comic in the 1950s and was hosted by the Crypt-Keeper, a wise-cracking corpse. It has been revised in various formats over the years, including an HBO series that lasted from 1989 to 1996. I’d never read any of those comics, and I don’t think I’d watched any of the HBO episodes, but the Crypt-Keeper would pop up in commercials and things, so I was definitely familiar with the brand.

Demon Knight was successful enough that they commissioned a sequel, Bordello of Blood, which came out a year later. I hated that film. So much so that it completely turned me off the whole Tales From the Crypt thing, and I never watched anything from them again. I never even came back to Demon Knight. So I haven’t seen it in 30 years.

It is one of those films I’d periodically think about, and I’d think I should revisit it, but for whatever reason I never did. It seems to be a movie that’s more or less been forgotten by the culture. I never see anyone talking about it. There are lots of other movies like this – some I did watch when they came out, some I didn’t – that get brought up periodically in online discussions. Those I usually seek out and watch again. But the lack of discussion about this one meant that anytime it would pop into my mind, it usually popped right back out again.

I cut the cord years and years ago. I own a lot of DVDs, but I do subscribe to various streaming services. I’m one of those people who subscribes to one service for a month or two, and then I’ll cancel it so I can subscribe to something else. I figure there is only so much stuff you can watch in any given month, so why spend all your money subscribing to every service?

A couple of months ago, Starz had one of those super deals where you could subscribe to an entire year for like $20. I’ve subscribed to Starz before and remembered it being okay, so I signed up. Tonight is the first time I’ve actually watched anything on their service since I subscribed. Most of the stuff they have is of no interest to me, and the stuff I am interested in I’ve already seen and own on DVD.

But while looking for a horror movie to watch, I found this and decided to finally give it another go. Actually, what I really did was watch The Mothman Prophesies on Starz, the Richard Gere flick from 2002, but it was so god-awful I decided I didn’t want to write about it for my Friday Night Horror Movie, and I dug around Starz some more and found this.

For the first ten minutes or so I wished I hadn’t. This was not what I was wanting; my fears that it would not live up to my memories were coming true. But then I was able to click my brain off. I was able to enjoy the film for what it was actually doing, not what I wanted it to do.

What it does is create an incredibly goofy, violent, goopy, and funny little horror story with lots of comedic elements and some pretty good practical effects.  Billy Zane is having the time of his life, too.

Zane plays a demon called The Collector, who is after a guy named Frank Brayker (William Sadler). Brayker has a powerful artifact known as the key, which the demons need to take over the world, but which also contains some of Christ’s blood, which can kill the demons. 

Brayker holes up in an old mission turned hotel, and the film becomes a base-under-siege story. Also in the hotel are an assortment of people, including the sassy owner (CCH Pounder), an old man (Dick Miller), an ex-con (Jada Pinkett Smith), an asshole (Thomas Haden Church), and others.

The film doesn’t do anything particularly new with the concept. There is lots of infighting, attempts to sneak away, and a traitor, but it does it with gusto and a real sense of fun. I remember when I first watched it, one of the joys was watching Thomas Haden Church play a character completely different from the good natured goof he played on the TV show Wings. Here he cusses, drinks, and has a prostitute attach battery clamps to his nipples!

The demon designs are good, and it is a real treat to see how many practical effects they used. CGI was just getting started at this point, and there is some use of it here, but mostly the demons are made of real stuff, and the gore is visceral (and the blood was made out of glow stick juice!). 

This is a film that understands it isn’t going to win awards. The Oscars will not be calling. But it does what it does well and has a blast doing it. I had a lot of fun watching it, too.