Scars of Dracula (1970)

scars of dracula

Regular readers will know I’m a big fan of Hammer Studios horror films. The truth is I don’t necessarily think all their films are all that good, but there is something about them that I love anyway. They are like Classic Doctor Who in that manner.

Scars of Dracula isn’t a great film by any real measurement, but I thoroughly enjoyed myself with it anyway. I truly can’t get enough of Christophe Lee enjoying himself as Dracula.

You can read my review of this film in all of its 4K UHD glory right here.

The Friday Night Horror Movie: The Strangers: Chapter 1 (2024)

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This film has been popping up in my feeds and the like for a while now. A brief preview of some of my friends’ Letterboxd reviews noted it to be pretty dumb but enjoyable; also, there is a sequel in theaters now, and I’m trying to watch as many movies from 2025 as i can this month, so I pressed “play.”

I should have taken a nap. Or rewatched one of the Halloween movies for the umpteenth time. Or smashed my thumb with a hammer. Any of those would have been more enjoyable than this movie.

Maya (Madelaine Petsch) and her boyfriend Ryan (Froy Gutierrez) are in the midst of a cross-country drive that will end in Portland, where Maya has a job interview. Because nothing makes you more refreshed and ready for an all-important interview like being stuck in a car for days on end.

Ryan says he’s hungry, and Maya looks at the map on her phone, spies a little diner, and tells him to exit now. I submit it is possible that there are people in this world who, while in the midst of a multi-day drive across the country, simply whip out their phones when they are hungry and choose the very first restaurant they see without looking at a menu or reading reviews on Yelp, but that was my first red flag that this movie was playing it fast and loose with plot details.

The cafe is in a tiny little town in Oregon. It is far enough off the highway that they lose their cell phone signal, but big enough, apparently, to have a good signal inside of town. Except, they actually note how big the town is, and it only has, like, 350 people. Like an old-fashioned movie, everybody in the surprisingly full cafe stops what they are doing and stares at the newcomers.

They are all shocked – shocked I tell you – that she wants a vegetarian plate. They are even more shocked when they realize our heroes are celebrating their five year anniversary – but not of marriage, just dating. Apparently the citizens of this small town are very conservative. Not that any of this seems to matter to the actual plot, it’s just a chance for the film to add a little atmosphere.

Lunch over, they head to their car and find that it doesn’t start. A creepy mechanic appears out of nowhere (the film will do this a lot – hide somebody skulking around from the audience’s point of view and pretend the characters somehow wouldn’t notice a person walking right up to them and staring.) He says they’ll have to order some parts, and our heroes will have to spend the night. Luckily, there is a really nice cabin in the woods that gets “rented on the internet.”

At the cabin they sit outide and they enjoy the quiet of the woods. Then they start a little sexy time. Ryan lifts her up and takes her to…not the bedroom, but the kitchen. Because where else do you go for a little sexy time in a stranger’s house but their kitchen counters?

The doorbell interrupts their fun, and some creepy girl stands outside awkwardly. Everyone stares at each other for some ridiculously long beats, and then she asks if someone or the other is home. Ryan gives her a harsh “no” while Maya indicates she must have the wrong house. Then they stare at each other in silence for a while. It s so awkward and weird this scene. Any normal person would assume that maybe the guy who owns the place has a daughter who plays with this young girl. Any normal person would explain that they are renting the place for the night.

Girl leaves, and our heroes get their sexy time (on the couch, not the bed, because there will be a “spooky” reveal in the bedroom later). And then, oops, our heroes realize they accidentally left his asthma inhaler in the car. Because what normal people would definitely do when they are leaving their car for the night in an old auto shop miles away from where they will be spending the night with no modes of transportation is not make sure they have a life saving medical device. And it wasn’t knocked under the seat. It was sitting right there in the console.

So Ryan gets on a motorcycle that is for some reason left on the property with the keys and rides back to town. He gets the inhaler and then some food (ordering her a cheeseburger without the met – so just bread and cheese, I guess). While he’s gone, she drinks three small bottles of hard liquor and a bottle of beer.

She also calls the owner of the place because the refrigerator is out and essentially demands that he send someone that night to fix it. Despite the fact that the only thing they have to keep cool is a six pack of beer, they will be leaving in the morning. The fridge will not come into play for the rest of the movie. Not even when the evildoers start showing up and knocking on the door. It would have been an easy jump scare for our heroes to think the person at the door was a refrigerator repairman only to find out it was someone with nefarious intent. But whatever.

The creepy girl knocks on the door again while Ryan is out. Maya doesn’t open the door but is pretty freaked out by it. So what does she do in this frightened state inside a strange cabin in the woods while her boyfriend is away? She smokes a blunt, then takes a shower. That’s what everybody would do, right?

The thing is, while Maya has been alone in the cabin, we have seen the creeps staring at her from inside and outside the house. Maya plays some music on a piano, and one of them sits on a chair behind her. When she takes a shower, someone comes inside the bathroom and watches. They would surely make some noise moving around like that. Unless she’s completely oblivious, she would surely see them.

Whatever, horror movie tropes and all that. Eventually, Ryan comes home, and the creeps attack for good. More stupid decisions are made, including never calling the cops and not just high-tailing it out of there. At one point Ryan has a shotgun and the killers only have blades, but he still tells Maya to go run through the woods while he stays there. And doesn’t shoot them.

I’ve rattled on for too long. I just couldn’t believe how dumb this film was. I expect characters to make stupid decisions in horror films because otherwise the film would be over in ten minutes, but the characters in this film never make even one sensible decision.

It ends with a “To Be Continued” and while I hated this film, I kind of want to see the sequel (there will be a third one, too). Also, apparently, this is an attempt to reboot a Strangers franchise. The original The Strangers was made in 2005 and a sequel came out in 2018. I might have to watch them all as punishment for my sins.

The Friday Night Horror Movie: Five Night’s At Freddy’s 2 (2025)

five nights at freddys

My daughter is a big fan of the Five Nights at Freddy’s video games, and all their supplemental material, including the movies. Her mother took her and some friends to see the first movie on opening night in the theater. She loved it, and when it came to streaming, she made me watch it with her. I remember absolutely nothing about the movie. I gave it three stars on Letterboxd but I suspect at least half a star was due to her excitement over watching it again. Exuberance is catching.

She has been super excited over the sequel for weeks now, and she talked me into buying her and three friends tickets to it for opening night tonight. They are old enough to go to the theater alone now, so the wife and I were looking forward to a quiet night at home.

Unfortunately, one of the friends got sick, and not being ones to let good money go to waste, the wife and I drew straws to see who would take the now empty seat. I drew the short straw. You would think that if my daughter’s excitement encouraged me to enjoy the last movie while watching it by ourselves at home, then a packed theater full of excited fans would make this viewing even more enjoyable. You would be wrong. The reasons for this are twofold:

It has been a long week, and I was tired. I was in no mood to go to the theater and watch a movie I wasn’t really interested in.
Those excited fans were all teenagers.

The two boys sitting next to me (I’d put their age at 15) talked through the entire movie. I hate when people talk during movies.But then I realized my daughter’s friends were also talking through parts of the film and excitedly pointing at the screen when someone happened that they recognized from the games. I listened to the boys talk, and they two were just excited to be there, and were having a good time, So why shouldn’t I enjoy myself?

The movie isn’t good. I’ve never played the game, but I can see the appeal of wandering around an old, dark, abandoned amusement palace where animatronic robots jump out and try to kill you. But that doesn’t translate very well to the movies. Especially when the movie attempts to build things like character and story into the murdering robot movie.

Mike Schmidt (Josh Hutcherson) seems to have recovered from the events of the first movie (which happened a year ago) and more or less has his stuff together. His daughter Abby (Piper Rubio) misses the friends she made back then (and remember, her friends were actually the ghosts of five murdered children inhabiting those animatronic robots). Vanessa (Elizabeth Lail) also returns from the first movie, but she’s still haunted by the past.

The story of what happened on those five nights one year ago has become something of a legend in town. People love the stories and, in fact, are planning an anniversary party of sorts where they will all dress up as the robots and have a carnival.

There is also a science fair about to happen, and Abby is working on a robot submission (when that fails, guess what robot will come to her aid?). Apparently the school of this small town is cool enough to have an entire robotics department. It is led by a vicious and mean teacher (played to perfection by Wayne Knight) who will surely get his comeuppance.

Matthew Lillard returns in flashbacks and Skeet Ulrich shows up at one point making it a mini-Scream reunion.

Yada, yada, yada, there is some lore building (and no doubt plenty of references to the games I haven’t played). Abby is getting a spirit called from some other dead girl who needs her to come to the original Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza to help the animatronic robots flee the restaurant and wreak havoc on the town.

There are a few decent jump scares, and the scenes in the pizzeria have a certain eeriness to them, but mostly the film is just dumb. I suspect a lot of that is the translation from game to screen. Things that work well when you are playing a game are pretty idiotic when watching it happen in a movie.

For example, the original Freddy’s has some kind of fake river flowing through it. It is maybe three feet deep, and the walls surrounding it go up another foot or two. It would not be a difficult thing to climb out of. Twice characters fall into it and can’t get out of it. Another time a character has to log into a computer and try and shut down the Wi-Fi signal (which is what controls the robots). We see a lot of screenshots with him clicking through boxes. Both of these things seem very much like something you’d deal with effectively in a game, but on screen…boring.

But the girls had fun, and sometimes that’s all that matters.

The Friday Night Horror Movie: Heart Eyes (2025)

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I was about halfway through Heart Eyes before I realized that it was directed by the same guy who made Werewolves Within (2021), Josh Ruben. I quite liked that movie. It was smart and funny and clever about the way it played with its genre. Heart Eyes isn’t nearly as clever, and it winks a little too hard at the audience, like it is constantly letting the audience know that it knows it’s just a movie.

The genre it’s playing with is the slasher genre, and that’s a genre that’s had more than its fair share of meta commentary. The Scream films have pretty well bled that well dry. I’m being a little too harsh; there are parts of Heart Eyes that I really enjoyed, and the parts I didn’t like as much were still well made and entertaining.

A serial killer has been terrorizing lovers across the United States every Valentine’s Day for the last several years. This year he’s moved to Seattle, where we find our heroes Ally McCabe (Olivia Holt) and Jay Simmons (Mason Gooding.) She works in advertising and has just completed a campaign for a jewelry company where she spoofs the lives and bloody deaths of various doomed couples like Bonnie and Clyde. The boss lady previously approved it but now hates it because she feels it is in bad taste considering the Heart Eyes Killer has come to their town. She hires Jay to come in and fix things.

They go to dinner to talk about the new campaign. Things don’t go well, he leaves, and she chases him down to apologize. Outside she sees her ex-boyfriend with a new girl. In an attempt to make him jealous, Ally gives Jay a big kiss on the lips. The Heart Eyes Killer sees this, thinks they are true lovers, and spends the rest of the movie trying to kill them.

There are some very funny moments when the two of them try to convince the killer that they aren’t in love and that he should go kill someone else. Eventually Jordana Brewster shows up as a detective trying to solve the murders. When a ring shows up at one of the crime scenes with the initials JS on it, she starts to think Jay Simmons just might be her man.

I won’t spoil it, but fairly early on it is easy to figure out who really might be involved.

One of the difficulties of a film like this for me is that the slasher genre has been done to death. There aren’t really any more clever ways to kill a person. Heart Eyes tries, even in its own knowing way, but never does anything all that clever or interesting. There is a nice set piece set inside a drive-in theater that is both funny and exciting.

The film also has that super slick look that so many modern horror films have. Cameras have become so cheap and so good at their jobs that you don’t necessarily need the tech and the lighting you once needed. That’s not a bad thing, but sometimes modern horror films wind up a little too glossy for my tastes.

But overall this is a perfectly enjoyable film, and I’m very much looking forward to watching what Josh Ruben makes next.

The Friday Night Horror Movie: Frankenstein (2025)

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I don’t believe I’ve ever read Mary Shelley’s novel Frankenstein; or, The Modern Prometheus, but I have seen several different cinematic adaptations of it. I’ve seen the 1931 film with Boris Karloff, of course, and all the sequels from Universal. I’ve seen several of the Hammer Studio versions and that one from the 1990s with Robert DeNiro. I guess it is safe to say I like the story, or perhaps I just like the monster.

Guillermo del Toro is a director whom I like but don’t really love. He’s an incredibly creative creator, and his films have an amazing visual style, but his stories rarely do it for me.

I don’t know why I tell you these things except that I guess when a beloved director takes on a beloved story, it feels like I should begin by expressing my feelings toward both things before I tackle how I feel about their collaboration.

For del Toro’s part, he’s apparently loved the story for decades and dreamed of making his own adaptation of it. I am reminded of Martin Scorsese’s The Gangs of New York, which was likewise a film the director had wanted to make for decades, yet when he finally got to do it, the film was compromised and became far less than his greatest film and presumably fell far from his aspirations. I don’t know if del Toro’s film was compromised by Netflix or anyone else, but the end result is overlong and overstuffed, and if it were to be given a subtitle like the novel, it might go something like this: Frankenstein; or, Be Careful What You Wish For.

The good news is the film looks absolutely amazing, even via streaming. Del Toro’s visual sensibilities have never been stronger. Frankenstein’s castle is a maze of gothic sensibilities and steampunk technology. The exteriors exist with beautiful mountain-strewn landscapes that made me want to grab my passport and head for the mountains of Eastern Europe. The acting is good across the board, especially Oscar Isaac as Victor Frankenstein and Jacob Elordi as the monster. And I always love to see Mia Goth in anything.

The problem, then, lies in the story. As I mentioned, I have not read the book, so I have no idea if this version is more faithful than the films I’ve seen, or less. It begins with a prelude. On an ice strewn sea somewhere, a ship full of Russian sailors is desperately trying to break through the ice and make it to the North Pole. They hear a noise and see flames rise somewhere toward the horizon. They run in that direction and find Victor Frankenstein badly wounded, near death.

Then the monster comes. It is fierce and dangerous and apparently impervious to bullets. It kills many men and screams Victor’s name. The sailors manage to get Victor aboard the ship and blow up the ice around the monster, sinking him into the frozen abyss.

Victor then tells the captain his tale, which makes up Part 1 of the film. It is more or less the story we all know. We do get a little more backstory on Victor. We see him as a child being taught by a demanding father (a wonderful Charles Dance) and being doted on by his mother. Then one by one her parents die, and he becomes estranged from his brother.

He becomes a doctor with wild ideas about life and death and is shunned by the community. He meets Henrich Harlande (Christoph Waltz), who is intrigued by his ideas. He gives him all the funding and supplies he needs and sets him up in an isolated castle.

He makes the monster but is disappointed when he doesn’t seem intelligent. The estranged brother comes back, and with him his fiancée, Lady Elizabeth Harlander (Mia Goth,) whom Victor falls in love with. It is Elizabeth that sparks the humanity inside the monster. Still, Victor tries to destroy him.

Part II picks up from there and tells the monster’s side of the story. He survives Victor’s murder attempt and flees to the forest. There he is taken in by a kindly, blind, old man (David Bradley) and learns to read and about friendship. Eventually he must leave, for he knows he cannot die, and he desires a companion. A companion only Victor Frankenstein can create. Slowly we’ll be brought back around to the prelude, and finally the film’s end.

It isn’t that the story is bad, but perhaps that it has been told too many times before, so it can no longer be made interesting. Del Tor does try. He keeps some things familiar but adds many other things, and even the familiar ones he plays with. But at 2 and a half hours, it is far too long and has far too many parts that just drag.

One wonders if del Toro is too big of a name now that no one was willing to tell him “no.” With pet projects like this, sometimes that’s exactly what you need. It is well worth watching for the acting and the stunning visuals. I just wish the story they are telling was more worthy of the artistry behind it.

Body Puzzle (1992) Blu-ray Review

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Lamberto Bava was the son of Mario Bava. Mario Bava was one of the great Italian directors of the 1960s and 1970s. A former cinematographer, Mario Bava’s films are gorgeous, often filled with bright, bold colors and fantastic camera placements. Lamberto wasn’t nearly as good, but he still made some fun films.

Body Puzzle isn’t great, but it has a great idea. A serial killer is collecting various parts of his victims to create…well, I won’t spoil anything, but it’s a fun concept that’s a little clunky in its execution. You can read my full review at Cinema Sentries.

31 Days of Horror: The Descent (2005)

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Three best friends come together one year after a terrible tragedy. It has been a difficult year, not only because of that tragedy but because it ripped their friendship apart. They have gathered in the Appalachian Mountains, along with three other women, for a little spelunking adventure, and hopefully to mend their friendship back together.

As one might surmise, things do not go that well for them. As some of the girls are not hardcore cavers the initial plan is to take a relatively easy expedition. Not too easy, mind you, as all the girls are adventurers and like a good challenge, but nothing too difficult or dangerous. As you might surmise, that plan is dropped. One of the girls, without telling the others, leads them to an uncharted and unnamed cave.

After a brief introduction of the characters and the setup, director Neil Marshall literally drops us into the main action. To get into the cave, they have to drop a good hundred feet straight down. The film makes great use of the setting’s darkness. Things are only illuminated by flashlights, the red glare of flares, and occasionally phosphorescent rocks. It uses the tight, claustrophobic spaces to great effect as well. There are times when our characters must squeeze through the tiniest of openings, or avoid falling into dark pits. The danger is palpable.

A cave-in pushes them into desperation. With no map or guidebook, they’ll have to use their wits to get out. And then something even more terrifying occurs. They realize they are not alone. The last chunk of the film moves into more gore-centered slasher territory, which I found to be a letdown. But until then, The Descent is one hell of a thrill ride.

An interesting side note. I originally watched this when I was living in Shanghai, China. About the only way to see films there was to buy bootleg DVDs. With those, you never knew what you were going to get. Sometimes they were cam rips, created by literally filming it inside a movie theater. Other times you’d get some old VHS rip. It was difficult to watch non-English films because the subtitles were often translations of the Chinese translations of the original language.

Usually they were rips of the DVD releases, and even then you never knew what you were going to get. I watched a copy of Rob Zombie’s Halloween remake, and when I went to read the reviews, I realized the film I watched was not the same film everyone else was talking about. I had some kind of alternate cut.

While watching The Descent on the Criterion Channel, I realized the ending was different from my memories. Looking it up, I found there is an American version and a much bleaker European cut. I guess I originally watched the European cut.

The Friday Night Horror Movie: What Lies Beneath (2020)

WHaT LIES BENEATH poster

Robert Zemeckis had an incredible run in the 1980s through the 1990s. It started with Romancing the Stone in 1984 and ran through the Back to the Future Trilogy, Who Framed Roger Rabbit?, Death Becomes Her, and Contact. I was a big fan. When I learned he was making a thriller with Michelle Pfeiffer and Harrison Ford, I was completely on board. I believe I saw it opening weekend in the theater. I was highly disappointed. I’ve not seen it since.

The Criterion Channel is currently running a bunch of horror films from the 2000s. This is one of them. Lately, I’ve been revisiting films from my youth that I didn’t much care for at the time to see if the decades since might have made me more attuned to their wavelength. This is especially true for films that my critic friends seem to like.

So, I figured it was time to revisit this one and see if I’ve changed my mind. Friends, it still stinks. Well, okay, it isn’t that bad, but it is a bit of a mess.

This is basically Zemeckis doing Hitchcock, but that’s not really a thing in his wheelhouse.

It begins like a Rear Window homage. Claire Spencer (Pfeiffer) and her husband, Norman (Ford) live in a big, beautiful, lakeside house in Vermont. He’s a fancy researcher at a fancy college. She gave up her musical career to be a mom. As the film begins, they are saying goodbye to their daughter, who is headed off to college. Claire is having a hard time with this. She’s lonely and bored.

She notices the new neighbors are often fighting. Loudly. One rainy night she spies him loading something (a big covered something) into the trunk of his car. Did he just murder his wife? Suspicions run even higher when she stops by with a welcoming package and realizes that the wife’s car is in the garage, but she seems to be gone. And the husband is being cagey.

But just as that idea gets going, the film shifts gears. Now Claire is seeing ghosts. She hears whispers, the front door keeps finding itself open, and the bath is filled with hot water when nobody’s home.

All of this works well enough. Ford and Pfeiffer are too good of actors, and Zemekis too talented a director for it not to, but it never rises above. It never quite thrilled me. I never really believed the ghost angle, and without that there isn’t much more to the story. I kept half expecting the neighbor to show back up and to be an actual killer. I think I would have preferred that to what we actually get.

The trailer for the film famously spoils half the movie and the big twist towards the end. I won’t do that in case you haven’t seen it. The first time I watched the film, I felt the ending really killed the film’s momentum, but this time I found the final act to be the most interesting. That’s when Zemeckis goes into full Hitchcock mode, allowing himself to move away from the problematic script (by Clark Gregg!) and into pure direction. Although, I’ll still admit there are some really silly bits to its conclusion.

It isn’t a terrible film, just not a great one. And with the benefit of hindsight, it is easy to see how this marks the beginning of a downside to the director and his two stars.

The Friday Night Horror Movie: Get Away (2024)

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Horror often relies on putting characters in unfamiliar places. They might be somewhere remote and isolated, where help cannot be found. Or maybe they are in a different culture where they do not understand the language or customs. Putting our protagonists somewhere they do not feel safe gives us an immediate sense of dread.

Get Away falls in the tradition of films like The Wicker Man (1973) or Midsommar (2019) where are protagonists are both isolated from the outside world and surrounded by a strange and unfamiliar culture. It then plays with those conventions, subverting them in interesting and fun ways.

Richard (Nick Frost, who also wrote the script) and Susan (Aisling Bea), along with their two children, Sam (Sebastian Croft) and Jessie (Maisie Ayres), are taking a holiday on a tiny island off the coast of Sweden. They are looking forward to the island’s annual celebration of Karantan (where islanders nearly starved to death, resorting to cannibalism due to some forced quarantining).

Before they even arrive at the island, they are given the side-eye by the locals who warn them they won’t be welcomed there. They barely make the last ferry (which naturally won’t return for several days) and arrive on the island where they are greeted by scorn.

The one friendly face, Mats (Eero Milonoff), is the one who rented them the Airbnb, and he turns out to be a pervert, spying on Jessie and stealing her undergarments.

For the first hour, the film relies on the tropes of these sorts of films – miscommunications over cultural differences, an increasing sense of unease – and then it takes a big twist. I won’t spoil it, but unless you really aren’t paying attention, you’ll probably figure it out long before the film wants you to. It is a bit strange that it takes the film so long to get to that twist, because what comes after is where everybody seems to be having the most fun.

At that point, the unease turns into a straight-up gore fest with loads of well-done practical effects and very fun kills.

It is a film that isn’t nearly as clever as it needs to be, or funny, but it isn’t a bad cinematic experience. I like Nick Frost quite a lot, and it’s fun to see him just being weird and having a good time. I just wish I enjoyed myself as much as he seems to have.

The Friday Night Horror Movie: Sci-Fi In July Edition: Resident Evil (2002)

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I stopped playing video games after things advanced past the Super Nintendo System. Partially, this was because I’d gone to college and found more interesting things to take up my time. Partially, this was because I was now college-aged and expected to purchase things like gaming systems myself, and I had other things to spend my money on. But also, my friend had a Nintendo 64, and when I’d play games on it like GoldenEye, I found I got nauseated.

My brother had a PlayStation, and I believe he owned the first Resident Evil game. I remember playing it a time or two, but it never hooked me in. So when the movie came out, I was none too interested.

I thought I had watched it sometime previously to tonight, but I’ve not logged it in Letterboxd nor rated it on IMDB. Watching it, I found that I had no real memory of it. The opening scene did seem a little familiar, and I definitely knew about a scene where a laser beam cuts some soldiers into pieces. But maybe I saw that in a trailer, or some other clip. Or maybe I started the movie, got halfway through, and decided it was too stupid to finish. I dunno. As I get older, my memory of what I’ve seen and haven’t seen diminishes, and I’m left scratching my head over certain films.

Obviously, none of this matters to anyone, but this is my blog, and I can ramble if I want to.

But on to the actual film. Alice (Milla Jovovich) wakes up naked and alone in a shower. She seems to have fallen, pulling the shower curtain down with her (to strategically cover up her naked parts, yet reveal enough to get the horny boys most likely to see this movie all excited). She seems to have lost all memory of who she is and what she’s doing there. She sees a picture of herself with a man. They are dressed as if it is their wedding day. She notices a wedding ring on her finger.

Suddenly, a strange man tackles her just as a group of commandos busts into the mansion. The commandos have no time to explain, but take Alice and the man with them to an underground train. There, they find Spence (James Purefoy), the man in that wedding photo, who also says he has amnesia.

Riding the train deeper underground, the commando boss, James Shade (Colin Salmon), explains that they are entering The Hive, a top-secret genetic research facility owned by The Umbrella Corporation. Earlier that day, The Hive’s supercomputer, also known as The Red Queen, mysteriously killed all the people inside The Hive. The Commandos are there to find out why. Alice and Spence are employees of The Umbrella Corporation, tasked to guard the entrance of The Hive, and were only pretending to be married as some sort of cover.

For the first half of the film, our heroes do battle with The Red Queen. It is still on guard and has set deadly traps for anyone trying to get in. That’s where those laser beams come in, plus various other murderous traps.

Once they turn the computer off, they realize the reason it went haywire is that the T-Virus was unleashed, and The Hive had to be shut down lest it contaminate the outside world. The T-Virus turns humans into zombies.

Also, the crazy scientists in The Hive were experimenting with the T-Virus on various creatures, creating super monsters. The rest of our film finds our heroes battling them.

Paul W.S. Anderson directs (I seem to be having an Anderson weekend). Like all of his films that I’ve seen, he does a good enough job directing that I don’t hate what I’m watching, but a poor enough job to make me wonder why I kept with it. He’s competent enough to keep things interesting, but not enough of an artist to ever make me seek him out. Someone should tell him to lay off the CGI, though. It looks bad in all his films, but here especially, since most of the monsters are CGI and they are laughably bad.

He’s helped here by a script that kept the action coming at a steady pace. Jovovich is quite good as the lead; she’s starred in all of the Resident Evil films, and I imagine this is what she will be remembered for. She’s got quite a presence. As does Michelle Rodriguez as one of the commandos. This was just her fourth film, but she completely owns it. The rest of the cast is a mixed bag, ranging from pretty good to fairly terrible.

This is a film where, if I have actually seen it before, I can totally understand how I’d forgotten it. It isn’t all that bad, but neither is it particularly memorable. It is, however, just good enough to make me want to watch the sequel. Or maybe I’m just a glutton for punishment.