I’ve talked about Hammer Horror numerous times in these pages. Clearly, I’m a great fan and one of the things that makes me a fan is the actors the studio used over and over again – namely Christopher Lee and Peter Cushing. Those two actors make even the silliest, most ridiculous films worth watching. I don’t think Vincent Price ever made a picture for Hammer Studios, but he was starring in a lot of similar horror films around the same time. I feel the same way about him as I do about Cushing and Lee. Adoration is the word.

Put the three of them into a film together and let’s just say you have hit my horror sweet spot. It is then tough to admit that the final results of House of the Long Shadows just aren’t very good.

The setup is intriguing enough. Kenneth Magee (Desi Arnaz, Jr.) a successful young writer who is only in it for the money bets his publisher that he can write a novel of the caliber of Wuthering Heights in less than 24 hours. He only needs a secluded and quiet spot in which to do the writing. The publisher just so happens to know a manor in the Welsch countryside that will do just nicely. Upon arriving he finds the manor not so much quiet and empty as crowded with an eclectic and possibly insane, and murderous collection of weirdos (guess who plays those guys?)

But the film takes entirely too long to get going. We spend a while with the setup, with Kenneth and his publisher working out the details of the bet. Then there is a long drive (through a dark, stormy night of course) to get to the manor. We stop off at a train station to ask for directions where some strange things occur (all to establish mood of course). Then he finally arrives at the manor and it still takes far too long for everybody to be introduced. Christopher Lee doesn’t show up until 49 minutes after the opening credits.

Oftentimes the film seems to be winking at the audience as if to say “Isn’t it so cool we have all these horror legends in one place?” This is especially true at the end when it pulls a bit of a trick switch on the audience. But the film isn’t a comedy, there aren’t any jokes. It plays it all straight, but just with a slight knowing smile. As such I couldn’t take it particularly seriously, but neither was it fun to watch.

The actors, too, seem a bit bored. In the IMDB trivia, it notes that John Carradine (another great horror actor from the period) fell asleep during one of the scenes. From what’s on the screen it feels like he slept through most of them. Peter Cushing’s performance is limp. Part of that is the way the character is written and part of it is most likely Cushing was in ill health at the time. But none of the main characters give their best performances. Dezi Arnaz, Jr. is way out of his depth.

It is not that it is a terrible film for there are a few moments of interest, and it is wonderful to see those three actors working together, but it is a disappointing one. With those actors you want the film to be memorable. Instead, in a week I won’t remember I’ve seen this at all.