Help! Lost Has Made Me a TV Junkie

Originally posted on September 21, 2006

For many years now I have preached the ills of television. There is so much drivel that comes through the tubes it seems to be quite literally rotting our collective brains. It is as addictive as drugs and nearly as harmful.

We have become a culture of zombies. Watching the flashing lights, quick edits, and loud Top 40 soundtracks while our minds shut down for the night. Instead of fulfilling our civic duty, or enriching our lives, we are content to sit listlessly hour after hour while the same scenarios play out night after night.

I’ve often thought that if some worldwide disaster occurred shutting down television across the globe the suicide rate would go up exponentially. How many lives are wasted by sitting for countless hours in front of the boob tube? How many of those pathetic little lives would actually have to consider their patheticness if the TV went down?

TV is so mindless, so the lowest common denominator nothing good can come from it.

Or so I once thought.

About a year ago I became ill and spent an entire Wednesday night laid out on the couch watching the television. It’s something I always like to do when I’m sick. It must be the white blood cell level, but when I’m ill there is nothing more soothing than passivity. And nothing produces passivity more than television.

That particular night was the premier of the second season of Lost.

I was hooked before the first commercial break. The show had quality. It was well-written, well-acted, funny, and mysterious. And it was exceedingly well produced. Hour-long dramas on TV always looked…well like TV shows to me. The production values have always lacked causing them to look forced and fake. But Lost was a wonder. It looked like money.

When did television become so cinematic?

Quickly my wife became hooked and we caught up with season one on DVD while we watched season two unfold on TV.

Each Wednesday night would come and we’d both sit in front of the tube waiting to see what would happen next. When mid-season reruns came I became physically angry. Who did they think they were getting me hooked on a show, then showing week after week of reruns?

Invasion came after Lost and we would keep the TV on for it. Though it was also produced more like a movie than a television show, it was a little too slow and my interest lagged. I guess I wasn’t the only one for it was not picked up for another season.

But my TV addiction would soon grow.

Due to an odd work schedule and a short-term memory of a gnat, I rarely know what shows come on when. So even though I knew I enjoyed The Office, I could never remember when it came on. I would find myself flipping through the channels on any given night looking for something to watch, but if nothing showed itself I’d go back to my book, throw in a DVD, or play on the computer.

For most of last season, I only watched Lost on a regular, weekly basis.

The summer came and I was laid off. Suddenly I had plenty of free time and no bedtime.

My name is Mat and I’m addicted to television.

I’ve learned when The Office comes on and found My Name is Earl. Law and Order marathons are not uncommon, nor is watching House or Bones of any number of shows. I now seriously scout out prime time for what I should watch.

Two nights ago a Law and Order rerun came on so I watched that. But it had a tie-in with one of the spin-offs, so I watched that. But that one had a tie-in with another spin-off (how many Law and Orders are there anyway?) so there I was staying up until midnight to see how it all worked out.

With the new season starting in full bloom now I’m desperately flipping channels trying to gauge what shows are worth my time.

I’ve always had a fondness for certain reruns, and this has only multiplied my addiction. Starting at 5 PM last night I turned the TV on and began watching King of Queens. That was followed by the Simpsons which was followed by Malcolm in the Middle and another episode of the Simpsons. We finished our pre-prime time with Jeopardy.

Prime time began with last night’s Daily Show and when we realized that we were missing Jericho we quickly flipped it over to determine if it was any good. Halfway through Justice, I remembered we were out of milk and had a mini panic attack deciding whether I could live without it in the morning.

My cereal cravings got the best of me and I went for a late-night Kroger run. Besides, I told myself Justice wasn’t living up to its hype.

Many nights are like this now. Hours are spent watching television. Sometimes I get so excited about the new Lost season I almost start shaking.

While the quality has most certainly improved I can’t help but feel guilty for all the time I’m now spending in front of that box. Fever Pitch is due back at the library tomorrow and I’ve hardly made it halfway through. Not to mention the handful of other books scattered throughout the house that I haven’t touched in weeks.

What will happen to me when I find a new job and I can’t whittle away the morning and afternoon catching up on my e-mail and writing? When will I find time for a little knowledge and culture?

Is it possible to be transformed back to humanity once you’ve become a zombie?