Time Zone Blues

Originally written on November 03, 2006.

I grew up in Oklahoma, which is in the Central Time Zone.  It is an odd time zone, TV-wise in that the prime time programs begin at 7 in the PM, instead of 8.  As a child growing up, this was a particularly marvelous thing as it allowed me to see many programs that I would have never seen living in the Eastern Zone where Prime Time starts at 8.

As a youngster, my bedtime for many years was 9 o’clock.  However, Mother would allow us to stay up until ten one night a week.  Normally this night was reserved for Remington Steele, but I can remember many a long internal debate during special events such as the Olympics or the Grammy Awards when I would have to decide as to what to stay up for.

Many’s the time I thanked my God for letting me live in the only sensible time zone that allowed me to catch my favorite programs, and even one special show a week, instead of those other awful zones keeping people up until 11 for their prime time viewing.   What would I do, I thought to myself, if I lived in South Carolina or New York City and was not allowed to see such amazing detective comedies?

Post college I have lived almost solely in the Eastern Time Zone and have come to dearly love it.  Really, seven is way too early to start a television regiment, and being a big boy I don’t mind staying up late to finish up the good programming.

This week I am visiting my parents in Oklahoma and am back to the old Central Time Zone.  Not staying long enough to move my watch back an hour I am perpetually thinking I’m late, or that it is later in the day than it actually is.  This is not always a horrid thing as I have been helping my father with some work.  He starts his day at a quarter to seven and eats his lunch at the ungodly hour of 11 AM.  But to my glorious Eastern brain, that’s a quarter to 8 and the much more mundane luncheon time of straight up noon.

Ah, but here’s the rub.  Tonight I sat with great anticipation for My Name is Earl and the best comedy on TV otherwise known as The Office, while catching a rerun of The Daily Show and the Colbert Report.  Tick Tock Tick Tock, I waited and waited through the political jokes and barbs.  At 7:45 I began searching through the channel guide looking for NBC and thus the correct channel for my television fix.

Ahhhhhhh!  The Office is already halfway through!  How can this be?

Damn you Central Time Zone and you’re early prime time arrangements.  Of course, my show was nearly over as The Office starts at 7:30 in Oklahoma instead of 8:30 like the rest of the bloody world.

I knew there was some reason I moved and have never came back.