The Friday Night Horror Movie Death Spa (1988)

death spa poster

Not to spoil anything but the theme for April is going to be Totally Awesome ’80s. I’ll have more to say about that tomorrow, but for tonight I went ahead and jumped forward a day, bypassing the end of Westerns in March. I grew up in the 1980s and so there are a ton of movies from that decade that fill me with nostalgic glee. There were also a ton of great movies that weren’t meant for kids and many others I just never saw. Still haven’t in some cases. Anyway, like I said, we’ll get to all of that tomorrow.

But for tonight I wanted to watch something that just sounds like it epitomizes the 1980s. The decade of Reagan was a boon for low-budget, ultra-violent, super cheesy, nudity-filled horror movies. It was also the decade of Jane Fonda exercise videos, Jazzercise, and so much spandex. Death Spa has all of that, and more.

It is everything I wanted it to be. I mean, a movie set in a luxury spa where the equipment comes alive and murders people. How can you not want to watch that?

That actually sums up the plot pretty well. At a posh spa in Los Angeles (aptly named Starbody Health Spa – where for the opening credits the appropriate letters get blanked out revealing the movie’s title in lights) the state-of-the-art equipment keeps malfunctioning resulting in multiple injuries and deaths. Is somebody committing sabotage for personal gain? Is there a supernatural entity bent on vengeance? The answer to both is “yes.” And it’s awesome.

The deaths are gloriously bloody and silly (one guy gets eaten by frozen zombie fish, another is burned alive in a tanning bed, and there is a blender that just won’t quit). The bodies are tanned, hard, and ensconced in spandex.

As they say, the 1980s were a different time. I’m so looking forward to digging deep into that decade. If Death Spa is just the beginning, I can’t wait to see what’s next.

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