Today is my 50th birthday. I can’t believe I’m typing those words. I cannot believe I am that old. I gotta admit it is hitting me pretty hard.
What am I even doing with my life?
I am definitely not where I thought I would be at this stage in my existence. I am not the man I imagined I’d become.
Have I lived my best life?
It hasn’t been a bad life. I’ve done a fair bit of traveling, seen a few amazing things, made some great friends, and created a loving family. I own a house and have filled it with the things I love. I’ve never been hungry, etc.
There are things I’ve failed at and mistakes I’ve made that find me in the dark hours of the evening and make me shiver. This last decade has been difficult. Covid, work stresses, loss of church, declining health, and I don’t really have any real-life friends. But I have a great wife and an insanely amazing daughter, a job, and plenty of real-life comforts. I can’t complain. Not really.
Then there is this blog. I’ve been writing it for 22 years. That’s nearly half my life. That’s unbelievable. Like me, it has gone through many changes. It has had its ups and downs. But it has been one of the few stable things for most of my adult life. That’s amazing.
My readers were very generous to me when I was sharing music. I appreciate that very much. I know writing about movies and pop culture isn’t the same. I know most of the folks who enjoyed my music sharing are less interested in what I’m doing now.
Still, this isn’t nothing, and I hope it is maybe worth something to some of you. So I’m going to put up a little PayPal link. If you enjoy my writing and think it is worth some monetary value, I’d appreciate anything you can give. I don’t expect much; I’ll probably get nothing. I’ll eventually put a link in the sidebar and let it just sit. But for now it is going at the very bottom of this page.
Whether you give or not, I appreciate anyone who comes by, likes, and comments. Here’s to another 50 years of life and many more years of this blog.
If you want to give please click here.
And for those interested, the picture if all the gifts my wife gave me. I’ve been on a comic book kick lately so I got lots of those, plus a couple of silly movies.
themidnightcafe.org 
What a moment! 50 years. I am older than that, so I get it – it’s a big one. Happy birthday Mat.
It’s hard to make it through the world and accomplish all one would like to. Like, REALLY hard. You are making a difference by being a son, husband, dad, and more – and by giving the world this blog!
I hope this year holds some happy surprises for you in the months ahead!
Thanks Noel. I’ve had a good life. Better than many. And I am grateful. But yeah, it is hard sometimes not to get down about all the things I’ve wanted to do an have not accomplished.
But I aim to do better. I’m hoping to make some changes this year to point things in a better directions. Huzzah for that.
Dear Mat, Enjoy your birthday, while we share it with you. All the best for the next 50! Sincerely,. Inna and Robin
Thanks very much. I had a nice day.
Hi Mat, I wish you a wonderful Birthday. May all your wishes come true.
Thank you very much.
Hi Mat, Happy Birthday! i hope you have been enjoying your day, and whilst it is easy for all of us to have regrets, spend more time thinking about what you have accomplished. We can never tell what’s in the future, i’ll maybe have a beer and toast you at the weekend, Simon.
Thanks mate. I did have a good day. I really have had a good life, but sometimes its hard not to think about all the things you wanted to do and have not managed to do.
Hi Mat, i am glad you had a nice day. I totally understand what you mean, i have not been able to work for many years now. Initially it was a big breakdown and severe depression which prevented me, then i had a chronic pain disorder, luckily i got great treatment in London for my pain. However it has left me with fatigue, having said all that, i have a pretty good quality of life now, and love photography, i am pretty much addicted to it. It’s often the things that are considered small that matter most, maybe time spent with your family, a walk in nature, and trying to just to remain in the present. It’s easier said than done though, but no doubt you have tried your hardest, and done your best, which is really all any of us can do. Cheers mate.
You’ve shared some of your struggles with pain with me before. Thank you for sharing and I’m sorry you have to deal with that. Life is hard sometimes. I constantly remind myself of that when dealing with people who get on my nerves 🙂 You never know what someone else is dealing with.
I’m glad you enjoy photography. We were planning on a big trip to the Pacific North West of America this summer. I just turned 50 and my wife turns 50 in the fall, so we figured a big vacation in the middle would be nice. Unfortunately with prices rising and everything becoming unstable we have decided against it. But someday. I do love nature photography and that would have been spectacular.
Instead we are planning a summer of concerts so that should be fun too.
Thanks Mat, we all have our own stuff to deal with. I have been lucky in some ways too, and there are certain things i appreciate now, that i probably didn’t before. It’s a pity you couldn’t both go to the Pacific Northwest, it looks amazing. However i totally understand in regards of budgeting etc. I hope whatever you do get up to in the summer, you both enjoy it.
Happy belated birthday, Mat! I hit the big 5-0 a few years back, so I can identify with what you’re going through. I don’t really have any advice. I’m just beginning to accept that I’ll never be a professional hockey player. (Tough to do when you can barely skate…)
Anyway, hope you have a good next year and many more Happy Birthdays to come!
Thank you my friend. It is weird, I was really dreading the day as I was coming upon it but then the actual day was pretty good and so were the following couple of days. But then today was hard.
Course a lot of days anymore are hard what with all the *shakes hands at everything* going on. But I try to take it one day at a time and hold onto the things I love.