The Friday Night Horror Movie: Subservience (2024)

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I don’t pay super close attention to what new movies are coming out and when. I follow enough movie critics on social media that I hear some of the buzz, but I really don’t give it much heed. I don’t spend a lot of time watching new movie trailers or reading reviews, etc. But I have a general idea of what movies people are talking about.

The Substance is a new horror movie starring Demi Moore. It is getting a lot of good buzz and is definitely on my radar. Subservience is a new horror movie starring Megan Fox. It is not getting good buzz, but rather a lot of panning when anyone is talking about it at all.

Because I don’t pay close attention to these things I got these two movies mixed up. I put on Subservience thinking it was getting a good buzz. Within twenty minutes of watching it, I was confused.

People are really liking this movie? Maybe it gets better towards the end.

My friends, it did not get better towards the end, or at the end, or after the credits rolled. It is a stupid, stupid movie. It takes a old, dumb trope, and does nothing new with it. I should have realized something was up the moment I saw it was directed by S.K. Dale who also helmed Til Death which was just as dumb.

But it is also kind of fun? It reminded me a little of those dumb erotic thrillers I used to watch in the 1990s.

Nick (Michele Morrone) is a decent dude. He has a good job, a loving wife, a precocious daughter, and a baby boy. He’s living the American Dream. Except for that loving wife, she’s dying. She desperately needs a heart transplant.

Working that good job while taking care of those two kids and trying to be there for his wife is a little more than he can handle. So he does what anyone in that situation would do. He buys a super hot robot to handle the domestic chores.

Her name is Alice (Megan Fox) and she’s programmed to take care of his every need and desire (wink, wink, nudge nudge.) He doesn’t bother to tell his wife, Maggie (Madeline Zima) who is basically a permanent resident at the hospital that the robot he bought looks like Megan Fox. The look on her face when she first sees Alice is precious.

Alice is good with the kids, she’s great at cleaning up, and she’s a pretty good cook (though her lasagna is nothing like mom’s.) She can tell Nick is stressed out and would do anything to help relieve it for him.

You can see where this is going. Alice’s programming gets mucked up causing her to go haywire. If Nick is stressed then she’ll take off her robe and give him a release. If some guy at work is causing problems then she’ll go to his house and shoot him in the face. If Maggie’s health problems are causing trouble then she has to go to.

It is the kind of film where you have to just enjoy the ride. Because if you start thinking about it you’ll start to wonder things like: How can a guy with a relatively low-level construction job afford a big house, what must be enormous medical bills, and what can only be an incredibly expensive robot? Or why is the robot anatomically correct in every way? Are they all programmed to seduce? Or how can a person who just had a heart transplant do all that running and sexing and fighting?

Those aren’t questions the film is prepared to answer. It is better to just enjoy the not-particularly talented Megan Fox give a robotic performance that actually works in her favor for once. Or dig into the nostalgic vibe this thing is giving off. They don’t really make erotic thrillers like this anymore (even if the erotic aspects are fairly tame and it never quite thrills like you want it to.)

The Friday Night Horror Movie: Trap (2024)

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I watched The Sixth Sense in the theatre when it first came out. I managed to see it before the surprise ending was ruined for me. I remember liking it that first viewing quite a lot. But then some friends of mine wanted to see it and I was visiting them in Arkansas so I felt like I couldn’t say no. Even though I was pretty sure that the film would disappoint since I now knew the surprise. It did disappoint. I was bored during that second viewing.

That whole day was weird. I was good friends with her in high school. But since going away for college I hadn’t talked to her in over a year. Her husband I didn’t know at all. So the day was full of awkward conversations and then this movie I didn’t want to see. I also randomly remember her listening to The Eagle’s greatest hits on cassette and I hate the freaking Eagles.

Anyway, The Sixth Sense was of course an enormous hit and made M. Night Shyamalan an instant celebrity director. He followed it up with the underrated Unbreakable and then the quite fun but rather ridiculous Signs, and then the very creepy but completely dumb after the trick ending is revealed The Village.

By this point, he was starting to feel like a one-trick pony where every movie had a surprise ending. Everybody hated Lady in the Water and The Happening became an instant joke.

Shyamalan was on the outs. But then a funny thing happened on the way to career suicide. People started liking him again. It was as if after all the hype died down, and expectations became low, people realized he was actually a pretty good stylist and while his scripts were often ridiculous, his films were rather fun.

Or maybe that’s just me. I like most of his movies. They are dumb, but he’s a skilled enough director to keep me interested.

Trap is an absolutely stupid movie. There are so many instances in the film where I kept shouting at the screen that whatever was happening wasn’t the way things work. People don’t behave like that. Concerts don’t have multiple random intermissions. Police don’t let serial killers hug their daughters and play with their son’s bicycles.

And yet, I still quite enjoyed myself.

The plot involves a serial killer named Cooper Adams (Josh Hartnett), known as “The Butcher,” (and this isn’t a spoiler as it was revealed in all the trailers, reviews, and the first ten minutes of the film). He’s kidnapped at least a dozen people, then killed them, then chopped them up into pieces and displayed their parts in public. But he’s also a decent family guy.

He’s taken his daughter Riley (Ariel Donoghue) to see pop star Lady Raven (Saleka Night Shyamalan – the director’s real-life daughter who is in fact a real singer – you gotta love a dad who basically makes a movie to show off his daughter’s talents). But the cops and the feds have been clued into the fact that The Butcher is gonna be there so the entire concert is one big trap for him.

Cooper must find a way to escape so he can continue killing. And being a family guy. It is a testament to Hartnett’s skill as an actor and Shyamalan as a director that I found myself rooting for a serial killer for most of the film’s runtime.

Truly this is one of the most ridiculous films I’ve seen in a long time. Ridiculous decision after ridiculous decision is made by Cooper, the police, Lady Raven, and everyone really. My eyes rolled into the back of my head and then fell right out.

And yet, again, I quite enjoyed myself. Shyamalan never takes anything too seriously. He’s quite aware his film is dumb. But he’s having fun. And so was I.

The Friday Night Horror Movie: An American Werewolf In London (1981)

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There are certain movies that evoke a particular time and place in your memories. An American Werewolf in London is one such movie for me. I don’t remember the first time I ever watched it. I know I owned a copy of the VHS tape in college. My collection was pretty small back then, so the movies I owned made it into rotation regularly.

I’d pop this film on during a lazy Sunday afternoon, or after school on a Tuesday night. Me and my roommates would sit and watch it and laugh. We’d marvel at the special effects or how every song in it contained lyrics about the moon. I’m pretty sure its placement of “Moondance” began my journey into Van Morrison super fandom.

It became background noise in a sense. We’d put it on casually, not really paying much attention to it. This was before smartphones so we didn’t have social media or whatever to distract us so movies like this became something to do.

But at some point, I kind of turned on it. Sure the special effects were great and the needle drops, while super obvious, were on point, but it also felt very shallow. There wasn’t any depth to it.

That opinion stayed with me for decades. I don’t think I’ve watched the film since I left college, certainly, I haven’t seen it in a couple of decades. But for some reason, it crept into my thoughts this past week. Probably someone mentioned it on social media and I decided to give it another show.

My opinion didn’t change that much with this viewing. It is a shallow film. There isn’t much to it. But, also, I find I don’t care. Not every film needs to be deep. Not every movie has to carry with it layers of meaning and symbolism.

This movie is such fun to watch. And at 90 minutes it gets in, gets out, and leaves you satisfied.

The plot is quite simple. Two Americans, David Kessler (David Naughton) and Jack Goodman (Griffin Dunne), are backpacking across Europe. While Jack would really prefer to be in sun-soaked Italy they begin their travels in the North of England. We are introduced to them riding in the back of a sheep-filled truck.

They walk along the moors for a bit then stop at a pub for a hot beverage and a bite to eat. They are greeted like a stranger in one of those old Western movies. The entire pub stares at them quietly. But then one of them mentions Texas and one of the punters tells a joke about the Alamao and everybody laughs. Then David mentions the pentangle on the wall and the bar goes quiet again. They are told to get out. To get lost. Oh, and be mindful of the full moon and stay on the road.

Naturally, there is a full moon out and the boys wander off the road. Jack is killed by a werewolf and David is pretty good and mangled. He awakes in London in a hospital with a pretty nurse named Alex (Jenny Agutter). David keeps having terrible dreams and one day Jack appears to him. As a corpse. His face all torn to shreds. He tells David that he will turn into a werewolf at the next full moon and that he is now forced to wander the Earth as the living dead unless David, the last in the werewolf line kills himself.

David and Alex get cozy. David turns into a werewolf and kills a bunch of people. Can Alex save him? The end.

There really is nothing to it. But writer/director John Landis fills it with a real feeling of time and place. It isn’t the real England, but rather the England of movies. That pub (wonderfully called The Slaughtered Lamb) feels like it comes straight out of one of those old Hammer Horror movies I so love. Most of the English characters are like characters Americans have of English people.

It wonderfully blends horror and comedy. The murders are gruesome and the camera lingers on the gore. There are some nice scenes of suspense from when the boys are in the moors and something keeps howling at them to a late scene when the werewolf stalks a man through the underground. There are good gags and the editing often strikes a wonderfully jarring juxtaposition between the horror and the humor.

The special effects really are the gold standard for this sort of thing. There is a long scene where we watch David turn into a werewolf and it is fantastic. An absolutely brilliant use of practical effects. Every time Jack shows up after he’s dead, his body deteriorates even more. I can’t imagine how long Griffin Dunne had to sit in makeup to get all his flesh to look like it was hanging off of him, but it was time well spent.

So maybe not the greatest movie ever made. Certainly, it doesn’t have much to say about the state of humanity, but it is a completely entertaining 90 minutes to spend at the movies.

The Friday Night Horror Movie: Longlegs (2024)

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A young F.B.I. agent, Lee Harker (Maika Monroe), and her partner go house-to-house door knocking. They are looking for someone. Someone dangerous. As soon as she gets out of the car she stares at one particular house. She knows it is the one. The killer is there.

She tells her partner. She suggests calling for backup. He scoffs. How could she know? She’s right. The killer is there. She has some light clairvoyance.

Right from the start Osgood Perkins lets us know this film is going to be a police procedural, and one that believes in the supernatural. It also lets us in on the fact that Nicolas Cage is gonna give one of his strongest performances.

In a brief flashback, the film opens with a little girl hearing a noise out on her isolated farmhouse. A man (Cage is some wild prosthetics and makeup) appears seemingly out of nowhere. Cage affects a high-pitched voice and behaves erratically. It is a bizarre, yet effective performance. More on that in a minute.

Harker is recruited by Agent William Carter (Blaire Underwood) to join his task force investigating a series of murder-suicides. In each case, the father kills his wife and children before offing himself. Each time a note is left behind with some strange symbols, written in an unknown person’s handwriting, and it is signed “Longlegs.”

Harker has an innate ability to decipher the symbols and follow clues that will lead her and Carter to Longlegs. But he seems to have a connection to her, too. He visits her house and leaves her a note.

I won’t spoil what happens next except to say I wasn’t always with it in terms of story and plot. I found the last twenty minutes to be a bit much. But the film creates a vibe that I really dug. It is full of dread and menace.

It is a film that makes you look in the background just to see what might be sneaking up on you. There is one scene where something happens in the back of the screen that I had to rewind just to see how they did it.

And that Cage performance is one for the books. He’s an actor that can often go way over the top and this is crazy even for him. I’m not sure I actually loved it but I admire it just the same.

Actually, the entire film is a bit like that. I did not love it, but I dig that this type of film is still being made. Filmmakers are willing to take risks and do something a little different.

The Friday Night Horror Movie: The Legend of Hell House (1973)

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I had a random hankering for a haunted house movie today. I could not for the life of me tell you why. But I went to my trusty Letterboxd and did a little search. Found some lists and landed on this incredibly creepy, moody thriller. It is one of those movies that sucks you in with its atmosphere, lighting, mood, impeccable costumes and set design. The fact that the story doesn’t quite succeed never really bothered me.

That story is about an eccentric millionaire who enlists three people to spend a week in the legendary Belasco house (also known as the Mount Everest of haunted houses also known as Hell House). The three people are Physicist Dr. Lionel Barrett (Clive Revell), a mental medium Florence Tanner (Pamela Franklin), and a physical medium named Benjamin Fischer (Roddy McDowall). Along for the ride is Lionel’s wife Ann (Gayle Hunnicut).

It seems the house was once owned by Emeric Belasco a strange, eccentric millionaire who used to host wild orgies inside the house. After one such night of debauchery, dozens of people were found dead in the house, and Belasco missing. Ever since the house has been haunted by the victims of that night. Our heroes have been hired to prove the existence of an afterlife. Lionel has spent his career searching for said proof and comes with an array of scientific instruments. Florence is a mental medium meaning she can speak with ghosts but cannot manifest them in any physical way. Benjamin cannot speak to them but his presence allows them to take some physical form (which in this film mostly means they throw stuff about).

Sometime before the events of this film several other scientists and mediums undertook the same research and all but one died. That one is Benjamin who is only doing it again because he’s being paid a huge sum of money to do so.

Pretty quickly they hold a seance where Florence speaks to someone she thinks is Belasco’s son (or rather he speaks through her, using her body and his voice). Plates rattle, bottles break, furniture shakes. Later Ann will have some erotic dreams and will attempt to seduce Benjamin while in a trance. They will hold a second seance this time using lots of Lionel’s scientific instruments. Things go off the charts including some wacky ectoplasm flotation.

There are some goofy arguments between Lionel and Florence which amount to science versus spirituality except Lionel’s science is arguing that the crazy stuff that keeps happening is due to the natural energy that every human leaves behind. Since this house was filled with all sorts of insane things, that energy is supercharged.

Like I said, the plot is a bit of a letdown. Which is too bad because it was written by Richard Matheson (who I love) and it is based upon his book, but he must have been having a bad day. Everything else is terrific. It looks absolutely amazing. The set is fantastic and the lighting is divine. Everybody is taking things completely seriously which helps extend the creepy mood through all of the actual nonsense going on with the plot.

Definitely recommended.

The Friday Night Horror Movie: Vampire Hunter D: Bloodlust (2000)

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Talk about a case of a sequel being better than the original. I watched Vampire Hunter D a few weeks ago and thought it was awful. There were interesting story ideas, cool characters, and deep mythology hidden within a terribly written and animated film. This sequel, made some fifteen years later improves upon everything in every way.

The basics of the story are essentially the same. This one opens up the mythology a little bit and adds some characters, but it is still Vampire Hunter D trying to rescue a beautiful maiden from a vampire.

In this version, set in the far future, vampires have essentially ruled the world for centuries, but they are slowly dying out. Or rather they are slowly being killed by vampire hunters. Most of these are humans, mercenaries looking for big paydays and a bit of danger. But D is a dhampir – half human half vampire.

The girl, Charlotte (Wendy Lee) is taken from her home by Meier Link (John Rafter Lee) a vampire of nobility. Her family pays D (Andy Philpot) a hefty downpayment (with promises of much more if he succeeds) for rescuing her.

They’ve also paid The Marcus Brothers, a motley crew of hunters to do the same. They mostly consist of the same type of characters you get in any film with mercenaries – rough-and-tumble dudes who are good with specific weapons and get smart-assed with their dialogue. There is one lady Leila (Pamela Segal) and a bedridden psychic who can psychically leave his body and do severe damage to his enemies with his mind.

Leila gets the most screen time and she is the most interesting. The rest of her crew immediately take a disliking to D as they see him as competition. But Leila forms a friendship of sorts with him. He rescues her then she rescues him and they form a bond.

There are monsters, including a shapeshifter and a werewolf, they must battle but those scenes are short, and the fights are finished fairly quickly. It is as if the film understands that the monsters might be fun to watch for a minute, but it is the characters that are going to create fans.

The story is mostly good, though it borrows heavily from other stories and periodically drags. It is still lightyears above what they did in the first film.

The animation is gorgeous. The film wanders from a desolate desert to a great forest and we spend the third act in an enormous gothic castle. All of it is rendered beautifully. The characters are well-drawn and the action flows like the best live-action movies do.

It is astonishing how much better this film is than the original. Highly recommended.

The Friday Night Horror Movie: Demon City Shinjuku (1988)

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One of the things I love about doing these monthly movie themes is that it not only allows me to watch movies I might not otherwise watch, but it gives me a greater understanding of the history of cinema. I learn things I might not otherwise come to know.

For example for Animation in August I’ve watched several Japanese animated movies and this has brought to my knowledge banks the term OVA or Original Video Animation. That’s basically a Japanese version of straight-to-video applied specifically to animation.

Like straight-to-video releases OVAs had more freedom than their cinematic or televised productions had in terms of length and mature content. An OVA could be as long as it needed to be and they were allowed more freedom in the amount of violence, adult language, and sex/nudity they could use.

Demon City Shinjuku is an OVA adapted from a novel of the same name. It follows a reluctant hero’s journey into the heart of Tokyo which has been overrun by demons.

It has more than a passing similarity to Star Wars, with some terrific animation, and some pretty cool demon designs. But it suffers from some terrible writing (or possibly a very bad translation).

In a prologue, we learn that an evil dude called Rebi Ra has allowed himself to become possessed so that he can wreak evil havoc upon the world. A good dude called Genichirou tries to stop him but is killed in the process. A giant earthquake happens during their battle wrecking the Shinjuku part of Tokyo. Demons quickly take over this area.

Ten years later Genichirou’s son, Kyoya Izayoi is tasked with going into the city and destroying Rebi Ra. He is accompanied by Sayaka Rama the daughter of the World President who has just been kidnapped by Rebi Ra. If they fail Rebi Ra will unleash all the demons and conquer the world.

Along the way, they obtain help from a short rollerblader who is just out for himself but ultimately finds his soul and a Dracula-esque mysterious goth dude. There is also Aguni Rai an ancient mystic who periodically offers advice.

They come across several demons before ultimately fighting Rebi Ra. There is a crab-like creature with a human head and a giant mouth full of teeth in its torso and a sexy redhead with tentacle arms.

All of this is pretty good. I enjoyed it. But the dialogue is rotten. Generally speaking, I watch foreign language films in their original language. I much prefer hearing the original actors’ voices even if I don’t actually understand what they are saying. With animation, I am a little more lenient since there is a realization that all actors are dubbing in their lines (it helps that most of the foreign language animated films I’ve seen are dubbed by really good English-speaking actors).

I started watching this film in the original Japanese with English subtitles, but something was wrong with the audio causing none of the film’s score or non-verbal noises to be heard. So I had to switch to the English language dub. It was…not good. And strange at times. The male characters were all very horny and they dropped F-bombs on a regular basis. I’m not necessarily opposed to either of those things but they often seemed out of place in this film.

For example, one night Kyoya Izayoi and Sayaka Rama find themselves in the same bedroom for the night. After Syaka goes to sleep Kyoya begins to look at her longingly. The camera slowly pans down her body so clearly some of this is in the original script, but in English, he goes on and on about how he wants to sleep with her.

And his dialogue is loaded with F-bombs in the oddest of places. He’ll throw one in the middle of an otherwise innocuous sentence. So much of it felt like some American scriptwriter trying to make the script more edgy.

It was bad enough that I turned on the subtitles just to compare. Gone was the hard-core cursing, but also quite a bit of the dialogue was tweaked to give it different meanings. It wasn’t the case of just some minor word changes, but entire sentences would be different. I think the gist was still there but it was clear the dialogue was translated with some different intentions than the subtitles. I also noticed there were times when the character’s mouth wasn’t moving, the subtitles weren’t indicating anything was being said, but the voice actors were talking. At first, I thought it was an internal monologue but now I think it was just the English language track adding in additional dialogue. There is a scene at the end where our two heroes are looking at each other longingly and then they kiss. His mouth doesn’t move, and there is no subtitle, but the English track has him thinking something really cheesy about how beautiful she is.

That’s far too many paragraphs of me discussing this film’s audio track. I don’t know what it all means. I just found it weird and distracting.

So, I recommend the film, but definitely try and find the original Japanese audio.

The Friday Night Horror Movie: Wicked City (1987)

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Renzaburō Taki has been chatting up Makie at a Tokyo bar for months. Finally, she agrees to take him home with her. As soon as they arrive she strips off her clothes and they have passionate sex. As soon as he is finished she shows her true colors. She’s a demon. She morphs into a spider-like creature with long appendages and a mouth-like vagina that’s full of teeth. He manages to pull out before she chomps his member off and she flees out the window.

Outside, in the dark edges of the city live the creatures of the Black World. They are demons from an alternate dimension who can look like humans when they need to and live among us. Centuries ago a truce was made between the humans and the demons and they’ve lived peaceably together. Within a few days, a new pact must be signed, but there are rebel factions on both sides who want to stop that treaty from being signed.

Taki is a member of an elite organization known as the Black Guard designed to keep the peace between humans and demons. He’s assigned to protect Giuseppe Mayart, a 200-year-old mystic who signed the last treaty and will be instrumental in ensuring the new one is signed as well.

Taki is teamed with Makie a Black Guard from the Black World. They go through a series of adventures battling an assortment of demons trying (and often failing) to protect Giuseppe.

Wicked City is an inventive, beautifully designed bit of animated horror. Taki acts like a gumshoe out of some old film noir. Makie is cool as a cucumber. She’s not exactly a femme fatale, but she has that ice-cold attitude. The look of the film is a mix between neo-noir and steampunk. The demons are pure Japanese tentacle monsters.

I loved most of it. The story is good, the characters interesting, and the filmmaking is mostly spot-on. I love a good mix of crime stories and fantastic monsters.

However, if I may issue my first-ever trigger warning in a movie review the film is quite misogynistic. Nearly every man oggles Makie and whenever she is sexually assaulted (and she is sexually assaulted more than twice) the film lingers on her naked body. It is obsessed with her breasts. Even while being gang raped they make her moan with pleasurable noises.

Now I’m not against sex in cinema, and I’ve enjoyed the male gaze in more than a few movies. I’m fine with characters who do evil things and there are times when sexual assault and rape can serve a purpose. It sometimes does serve a purpose here. But the way those scenes are filmed made it more than a little gross.

If you can get passed that though, it is quite a good film. The world-building is excellent and some of the demons are truly terrifying, and weird, and imaginative. The animation is beautiful (and weird, and imaginative). Definitely recommend it for those who think they can stomach it.

The Friday Night Horror Movie: Phase IV (1974)

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Saul Bass was probably the only person to become famous for creating title sequences for movies. He did memorable title sequences for films such as The Man With The Golden Arm (1955), North By Northwest (1959), and Anatomy of a Murder (1959). His titles were innovative and beautiful, and they gave you a sense of the essence of the film you were about to see. The Criterion Channel once had a collection of films based on his title sequences alone. He also designed movie posters and was an award-winning graphic designer for commercial projects.

In 1974 he directed his first and only feature-length film. A science fiction/horror film about mutant ants that try and take over the world.

Phase IV is a meditative, art-house film tackling a subject that wouldn’t feel out of place amongst 1950s sci-fi b-movies such as The Blob, or The Fly, or The Brain Eaters.

It is full of extended, wordless scenes that concentrate on nature, or more often than not, insects – mainly ants. There are extreme close-ups of real-life ants, and beautifully rendered shots of hand-crafted miniatures.

There is some hard science fiction with scientists endlessly staring at computers and working with test tubes, and a lot of nonsense dialogue and character beats. It is incredible to me that Saul Bass chose this rather off-putting, strange little monster movie to be his directorial debut.

The story goes something like this. A strange cosmic event happens over Earth. Humans are all excited about it, but after a week with nothing extraordinary happening they all go about their lives. Except for one scientist, Ernest D. Hubbs (Nigel Davenport). He realizes that something strange is happening to the ants. They seem to be evolving – communicating with each other and working as one, towards some unknown goal.

The ants build these large monoliths in the Arizona desert. Hubbs convinces the government to build a science station next to them and recruits James R. Lesko (Michael Murphy) to help him. All nearby residents flee, leaving the scientists all alone. All residents except one small family.

Soon enough the family is attacked and killed by the ants. The only survivor is Kendra (Lynne Frederick) comes to stay with the scientists at the station.

The humans spray the ants with some kind of goo which deters them for a time, but soon enough the insects learn to cope. The humans destroy the monoliths. The insects build a reflective surface that sends the sun’s heat directly into the science station, drastically raising the temperature inside. The humans decipher some of the ant’s language. The ants infiltrate the station and start tearing up the machinery.

On and on it goes. Humans are against nature. It is an old story told in a beautiful, strange way. I don’t know how to explain this film, except that you should do yourself a favor and go watch it.

The Friday Night Horror Movie: Brightburn (2019)

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There is a Superman comic that wonders, “What if Superman was a communist.” Instead of landing in a cornfield in Kansas and being adopted by the wholesome Kent family baby Superman instead lands in Russia. In this version, Superman is still essentially a good man, a superhero of sorts, but his ideology is warped by 1980s Russian politics.

Brightburn keeps the idyllic Kansas setting but imagines “What if Superman was evil.” Technically it isn’t Superman, or even Clark Kent, he’s called Brandon here and he’s played by Jackson A. Dunn, but he is an alien baby that lands on a farm in Kansas and is raised by a wholesome couple. Superman’s origin story is so ingrained into our cultural membranes that those images immediately bring him to mind.

The film skips any scenes on the kid’s alien planet. It flashes pretty quickly through the growing-up stage. The couple, Tori (Elizabeth Banks) and Kyle Breyer (David Denman) have been able to conceive a child on their own so they are thrilled when a baby lands in their lap (even if he does crash in a spaceship). A quick montage brings us to him turning 13 and hitting puberty.

He’s an awkward kid, but smart. He thoroughly answers the teacher’s questions and is mocked by some bullies. But a pretty girl turns to him and says that smart people rule the world.

The spaceship, locked inside the barn, calls to him. It tells him he can rule this world. His powers come slowly. When that pretty girl later calls him a pervert (because she caught him spying on her in her bedroom) he breaks her hand.

Then he starts killing people. His parents are slow to recognize the signs. They love him after all. But when the bodies start piling up even they have to realize their son is evil.

There are some great ideas in Brighburn. I love the premise, but it sticks very few of its landings. There is no real sense of who he is, or where he comes from. The ship communicates to him somehow and tells him he can control this planet, but why? Was he sent there for that purpose? There isn’t any real internal conflict either. Sometimes he seems like a good boy who loves his family, and then something angers him and he starts killing.

You could read this as a metaphor for puberty and well, as someone who is raising a teenage daughter right now I can tell you the moods do swing for no apparent reason, and maybe that is enough here. But it didn’t work for me.

Most of the choices the film makes are pedestrian. Even the ones that don’t do what a typical superhero film would do are easily guessed at. So many times I wished the film would do something really surprising with its premise, and it never did.

Except for the kills. Those were pretty gnarly.

It isn’t a terrible film, it just isn’t as good as it could have been. That’s disappointing.