The Simpsons: Season 18, Episode 7 – “Ice Cream of Margie (With the Light Blue Hair)”

the simpsons ice cream of margie

The Couch Gag: The entire Simpsons family turns into a bunch of giant cockroaches and scurry away.

Number of out loud laughs: 2

The Plot: Bart is seen opening cereal boxes in order to get the toy prize and then feeding the rest of the cereal to the dog. When questioned on why he is so wasteful Bart’s only response is that he doesn’t know, but that he also only eats the eyes of the lobsters. Marge chastises the boy by saying “Your father works very hard to put lobsters on the table.” We then cut to Homer playing a game of chair hockey with the rest of the gang at the nuclear plant.

Mr. Burns after walking in on the game chastises Homer for goofing off, but Homer is unable to pay attention as an ice cream truck is driving by. When Mr. Burns yells some more, Homer looks back at him only to find Mr. Burns looks just like a giant ice cream cone and is commanding that Homer lick him. He does and this gets him fired.

Running after the ice cream truck, the owner gladly stops, knowing Homer by name. Homer buys a popsicle but only has a hundred dollar bill to pay for it. The man dies of exhaustion making change out of actual coin change.

Out of a job Homer takes up driving the truck and finds his new dream job. Meanwhile Marge has watched an episode of Opal (an obvious spoof of Oprah) where her guest demeans women who stay at home making Marge feel terrible.

Trying to better herself Marge begins making sculptures out of the leftover popsicle sticks and becomes quite good at it. Kent Brockman takes notice after reporting on Snake being chased by the cops. Marge sets up a big presentation of her sculptures and makes Homer promise he will be there for it.

Homer makes the promise, but says he must make his route first or his kids will think he neglected them. Finding a divorced dad picnic he takes advantage of the fathers by saying that ice cream will make up for their neglect. He makes big money, but forgets about the time. With only moments to spare he races back home through the back woods. Unfortunately he hits an owl, a boy scout and a bear which causes him to skid out of control and wipe out all of the sculptures.

Marge is furious, but Homer wins back her heart by pleading with her and taking multiple Polaroid’s of himself with a sad face. To show her forgiveness she creates a giant Homer sculpture which, in a jump to the future 200 years is shown as the last piece of art that survived after the iPods banded together and took over the world.

Review: **

Worst episode this season. The writers are still following their season trend of trying to maintain an actual plot versus throwing a bunch of nonsensical gags around, but this one just fell flat.

The thing about previous seasons was not only were they basically throwing plot out the window, but it always felt like they were overproducing themselves and acting like they were the hippest kids in school while failing to produce a show similar to what made them great in the first place. It’s like Seinfeld in the last couple of seasons where they kept coming up with all these crazy scenarios and forgot it was the conversations that made it great.

I’m ecstatic that they’ve finally gone back to the basics, but an actual plot isn’t always actually funny. The jokes were mostly lame and the story never really took off.

Here’s looking at next week.

Trivia

A possible revelation about the location of Springfield, Snake Jailbird reports a traffic jam at the 101-405 interchange, both of which run up the Pacific Coast of the United States. Their interchange is in the San Fernando Valley in Los Angeles, CA
Greta Wolfcastle can be seen (for the first time since “The Bart Wants What it Wants”) with her father Rainier Wolfcastle buying ice cream.
Ned Flanders’ late wife, Maude Flanders, is seen as one of Marge’s popsicle sculptures.
Comic Book Guy comments on the absence of a good Star Wars movie since the first one, bemoaning as well, the extensive use of CGI in the later re-releases.

Cultural References

The title of this episode cites Stephen Foster’s song “I Dream of Jeannie With the Light Brown Hair”.
The scene when Homer dresses spoofs the opening of Da Ali G Show.
The revelation of the customized iced-cream truck is a parody of Pimp My Ride, set to the Missy Elliott song “Get Ur Freak On”.
The Dire Straits song “Money for Nothing” plays as Homer comes down the street to sell ice cream.
The music played during the montage of Marge creating popsicle-stick sculptures is “Feels So Good” by Chuck Mangione.

And yes, I stole the references and trivia from Wikipedia.

Worst Promotion Ever: Monk Running In Black and White (Followed By Same Episode in Color)

mr monk and the leper

Originally written on November 27, 2006.

This just in from the worst promotion in the history of the television department, the USA network has announced they will be running back-to-back episodes of the newest Monk on December 22. The same show mind you, but it will first run in black and white and then be followed by itself in color. They not only expect us to watch the same freaking episode twice but to then vote on which version they prefer.

I’m not going to get into the stupidity of expecting us to watch the same exact episode back to back, but do they really expect us to vote? And do they really think we don’t already know the outcome of that vote?

Seriously, black and white doesn’t stand a chance. Why would anyone want to see Monk in black and white every week? I can dig doing one episode in black and white for a goofy effect, say Monk works a case in a haunted house or solves the murder of some old TV star. But it is ridiculous to expect an audience to vote for Monk to be in black and white.

Not that they are actually marketing this as something they’ll do in the future, but the whole vote is just dumb.

Now before I go any further, let me state for the record that I am a fan of black and white. I love old movies, I love new movies in black and white. I love the way it casts shadows and how the absence of color creates a certain mood and a distinct set of images. But let’s face it, Monk ain’t Casablanca. It’s a silly TV show not a grand opus by Orson Welles.

I actually like Monk. It feels like a throwback to the classic detective shows of the 80s like Moonlighting and Remington Steele. It is a lot of fun, but it is certainly not great art. The camera work on the show is very basic with easy frames and movements. Showing it in black and white will be novel, but nothing truly amazing, I suspect.

And let’s face it, American popular culture doesn’t want its television to be in black and white. It took me many years to watch anything that wasn’t in color, and I’m sure many folks raised on color everything have no desire to go backwards.

It is simply a marketing ploy to get people to watch the show twice and then go to the website so they can be inundated with more commercials.

Give me a break, USA Network, we deserve better than that.

Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip: Season 1, Episode 9 – “The Option Period”

studio 60 the option period

The Plot: The episode begins with the closing of last week’s Studio 60 show. Well, actually, since last week I was down and out, let’s talk about that episode too. My recap of that will be short since I didn’t take notes and my memory is faulty.

Though he suffers a few more small-town shenanigans, Tom is released from jail when the judge finds out that Tom’s brother is serving multiple tours in Iraq. The Chinese girl discovers a tabloid that gossips about what Jordan’s ex-husband has been blathering about. She shows her dad and then misinterprets him as saying that Jordan has brought shame unto herself and NBS. Jack then goes into a furious rant about how Jordan and the entire crew have a great deal of character for going through the mess they just went through and that the Chinese man can basically shove it. It was a great feel-good, stand-up, and cheer moment.

There is then a realization that the interpretation was wrong and that what was actually said was that the ex-husband was disgraceful and brought shame upon himself.

This week is another continuation of the plot, beginning as last week’s Studio 60 show ends.

The show actually ended 36 seconds short causing guest host Jessica Simpson to ask for prayers for the “mid-west” as opposed to the Middle East where the war is happening. Many jokes about the poor people from Indiana were made.

The show ended early due to Ron and Ricky printing the script on the wrong paper, or font. That’s some pretty deep insider stuff there but apparently longer shows are printed differently than shorter half-hour shows. The number of pages a script comes in indicates precisely how long the show will run. Ron and Ricky are writing a half-hour show, entitled “Peripheral View Man” for another network in an attempt to leave Studio 60.

The only problem is that NBS holds the rights to “Peripheral View Man” until the day ends. As Matt discovers all of this he threatens to option the show again just to screw with Ron and Ricky. Some pretty bitter stuff comes out of this as Ron lays all of his frustrations of being essentially made a lame duck out to Matt and then leaves. Matt eventually agrees to let them have it and to let the two men go. As they leave they indicate they’ll be taking all of the writing staff save the new guy and the Australian chick (I know I should know their names, but darned if I can find them.)

Harriett is thinking of doing a magazine spread in nothing but her skivvies. She’s doing this because she was turned down for a starring movie role due to people not thinking she is sexy enough. Simon and Tom try to talk her out of it because they feel it will hurt her image as a good Christian woman. Matt also tries to talk her out of it, but he claims that she would only be doing it out of revenge, and that’s not the type of person she is. In doing so he seems to talk himself out of optioning “Peripheral View Man,” too.

Jordan tells Danny that he either has to fire 15 people or start using product placement. This all stems from the fact that the Chinese man is doing his deal with NBS. Here it again gets pretty insider, but the basics of the financial mumbo jumbo is that the investment takes a great deal of money which makes them have to cut back elsewhere.

Much wrangling ensues, but Cal finally finds a solution in changing the main set to look like Sunset Strip. Since Sunset is full of its own giant billboards, it can mimic them and sell its own advertising.

Review: ****

This was the funniest episode I have seen to date. Generally, there are a few good jokes scattered throughout, but the concentration remains on the drama. Tonight, while still staying within character and the drama, they were throwing down some beautiful jokes.

I especially enjoyed Simon and Tom trying to talk Harriet out of the photo shoot, while still insisting they are pro-naked girls.

The drama played itself out nicely. It was a little less melodramatic than previous episodes sticking mostly to the lingerie shoot and having product placements. To me, this is where the show should stay. Good drama doesn’t have to be so serious. More humor balances it out and makes a better show.

It doesn’t look like they will be following my advice though, since the episode ended with Danny telling Jordan that she will probably be fired. The preview for next week indicates that’s exactly what will happen.

The Simpsons: Season 18, Episode 6 – “Moe ‘N’ a Lisa”

the simpsons moe n a lisa

Coming off of the lackluster Treehouse of Horror, the Simpsons created what may be the best episode of the season thus far. It was filled with good gags, good guest appearances, and a good story. I’m also feeling a bit better from a week of the flu and nothing but lousy. This means the blog should get some more regular updating, and hopefully reviews of all the stuff I missed last week.

Best Line: “That’s it Franzen, I think your nose needs some ‘Corrections.’”

Guest Stars: Tom Wolfe, Gore Vidal, Michael Chabon, Jonathan Franzen, and JK Simmons.

Plot: Homer wakes up to find the words “Don’t Forget” inscribed all over the house (including his belly, the dog and cat, and from alphabet cereal coughed up by Maggie,) yet he cannot remember what he is not supposed to forget. Marge reminds him that they are supposed to go to the senior Olympics to watch Grandpa participate. As they leave, Moe calls dressed in a fishing outfit and leaves a message for Homer to pick him up for their birthday outing.

Grandpa wants desperately to win the gold as he fears this will be his last Olympics (his first being at Berlin in 1936 where he nearly javelined Hitler to death but missed, killing an actual assassin instead.) But Grandpa can’t catch a break, losing every event, until he drops his dentures. Groundskeeper Willie picks them up, but a wardrobe malfunction makes him look like the Grim Reaper and a scared Grandpa picks up steam to win the race.

Later as the Simpsons return home, Homer sees Moe on their doorstep and remembers what he forgot. Ducking down in the car to hide they drive to the back of the house where they then eat their dinner hiding under the table. Though Marge says “We can’t scuttle around like craps for the rest of our lives,” Homer continues to crawl around the floor reaching upwards for food, and eventually gets into a crab-like fight with Bart.

Moe throws a brick through the window and Lisa is intrigued by his desperate, sadly poetic words. Looking for a hero to write an essay about she follows Moe home and finds that he scribbles his poetry onto sticky notes. With Moe’s permission, she combines the notes into a larger poem and submits it to a poetry magazine where it is turned into a book. Moe quickly becomes a poetry sensation.

At the WordLoaf conference, he is met by such luminaries as Gore Vidal and Tom Wolfe. Fearing he’ll be kicked out for getting help from Lisa, Moe acts as if he came up with the title for his book (when in fact Lisa did) and needed no help whatsoever with his writing.

When asked to write a new poem for his acceptance as “Best New Poet” Moe asks Lisa to help him, but she refuses. So, Moe steals an elevator warning sign and the motel television guide and reads those. He is booed and jeered until Lisa walks in at which point Moe makes up a heartfelt poem asking for forgiveness.

Rating: ****

Had this been season five this episode would have probably received a lesser rating, but this was one of the best episodes I’ve seen in many a year. The gags were very clever and the story flowed quite well. The wife and I both laughed heartily throughout. So much so that I didn’t even think to actually count the number of times. A very good sign indeed.

Best Moments:

Grandpa after he nearly killed Hitler with a javelin: “The next time I saw Hitler we had dinner and laughed about it.”
Grandpa to what he thinks is the Grim Reaper, while holding Bart hostage: “Take the boy, his soul is fresher.”
The poetry magazine editor acts exactly like the newspaper boss in Spiderman.
Homer to a man whose house he has just driven through (because he thought it was a covered bridge): “We should exchange insurance information. I have none.”
Moe to the geese who are eating his poetic sticky notes: “Stupid geese, you’re eating my brilliance.”
The whole Franzen, Chabon exchange was just brilliant.

Lost: Season 3, Episode 6 – “I Do”

lost i do

The Revelations:

Jack decides to operate on Ben
Kate learns about the two islands
Locke sees “Lift up your eyes and look north” written on Eko’s stick.

The Plot: The episode focused mainly on Jack, Sawyer, and Kate, but we did catch a quick flashback of Eko’s funeral. Just prior to the funeral Sayid and Locke have a discussion about the Big Black Smoke thing.

While Kate and Sawyer are working, Alex comes running out with a slingshot and makes the most of it before she is captured.

Jack tells Ben he will not operate on him and that he’ll enjoy watching him die, and that will be right soon. Pickett begins eyeing Sawyer again, and Juliet tells Kate that unless Jack operates, Sawyer will die. She then leads Kate to Jack, and there is a nice reunion before Kate begs for Sawyer’s life. Jack again refuses.

Emotional Kate climbs over to Sawyer’s cage and admits she loves him and they sex it up.

Jack hears a voice on his intercom and finds his door open. Down the hall, another door is opened leading to the video chamber, which happens to have a monitor on the naked Sawyer and Kate. Ben comes in and Jack says that he’ll operate for his freedom.

During the operation, Jack slices into Ben’s liver giving him a hospital hostage of sorts. He uses this leverage to free Kate and Sawyer.

The Flashback: Kate marries a Miami police officer and tries to have a normal life. She even calls the US Marshall to beg for her life. The Marshall says she can have it, but only if she stays put. She can’t stay put and winds up admitting everything to her husband before drugging him and running.

The Review: **1/2

The flashback was totally pointless. It was boring and didn’t add much to Kate’s character. The only thing to really gain from it was that she can’t stay still and truly trust anyone, well until she gives herself to Sawyer.

Most of the episode was pretty dull. It only got interesting when Jack sliced into Ben, and that was the last quarter. I did dig the note on Eko’s stick and am anxious to see where it leads.

Admittedly I was thoroughly distracted during this episode. My parents came home in the middle of it and asked me a ton of questions. They don’t watch it but decided to start quizzing me on it while it was airing. Then my cousin came by and kept asking about my notebook (on which I write my show notes.)

From the Alex show, there were some cryptic conversations that make it sound as if she made it to the second island on her own. Seemingly there is another way across other than by boat or the submarine. Perhaps Kate and Sawyer will find the way.

I suspect Locke will indeed look North and find the island. If they realize what they are up against, perhaps they will revolt and get somewhere.

This was the last episode until next year. The interim show, Daybreak looks interesting. If it is I’ll keep up with it here.

House: Season 3, Episode 6 – “Que Sera Sera”

house que sera sera

The Lead In: Firefighters find a gigantically obese man in a relatively burned-out apartment. Thinking he is dead they flirt with fat jokes and try to remove the body until the man farts. Realizing he is alive the fat man is rushed to the hospital.

The Plot: Though the MRI table is not rated to withhold a man of that size, Cameron insists they try. In the middle of the MRI the fat man, George awakens, freaks out over being in the strange machine, and collapses the table.

Awakened, George simply wants to be released. Though the doctors urge him to undergo tests to determine what is wrong, George is tired of doctors treating him for his obesity and wants to be left alone. As he is walking out of the hospital, he collapses and crashes through a window. We later learn that Cameron drugged him to keep him in the hospital.

Thinking it could be a parasite House orders brain surgery. During the surgery, George goes blind and again freaks out. They find no parasites, and House orders a diabetes test. George refuses the tests stating that he will only be treated for non-eating related disorders, as he has been fat his entire life and not had this problem.

After trying to force the sugar water on George, House notices an abnormality in his hand and determines the problem.

The Diagnosis: Lung cancer.

The Subplot: In continuation with last week’s episode, Detective Tritter is still after House. In a search of House’s house, Tritter discovers a large bag full of Vicoden. This adds drug trafficking to the list of charges against House.

Eventually, House gets a good lawyer and the charges seem to be dropped, though the episode ends with Tritter quizzing Wilson about his prescriptions for the Vicoden. He is especially interested in a few signatures that don’t seem to match and vaguely threatens Wilson to tell the truth or face trouble.

Best Lines:

House (while in jail): Hey Gomer Pyle, I know you can hear me.
Tritter: I think you mean Barney Fife.
House: So many idiot icons to choose from.

House: Apparently Cuddy has widened her sperm donor search to Neanderthals. (Answering the question as to who Tritter is when he leaves the hospital.)

Review: ***

They attempted to give George an interesting personality, and mostly they got it right. I dig that he isn’t ashamed of his obesity, and even felt a little for him having to constantly deal with doctors trying to treat him for the same types of diseases because he is fat. But they pushed that a little hard and he wound up looking like a crazy crybaby. Ultimately the episode felt like a means to make fat jokes and have a bizarre character for ratings.

I still dig the whole Detective subplot, but it seems to be taking a lot away from the main story. The last two weeks have proven to be very weak in the medical mysteries area. I can’t help but wonder if this isn’t a strategy to move a little bit away from the mysteries to give the show a longer life. As my mom says, every episode is the same – somebody has a weird illness, and House makes wisecracks then figures it out. By creating an interesting subplot they could be changing the show a little bit to make it more interesting.

We’ll see.

Studio 60 On the Sunset Strip: Season 1, Episode 7 – “Nevada Day, Part 1”

studio 60 nevada day

Originally written on November 08, 2006.

With declining ratings, there is much talk of Studio 60 being canceled. Being the best show on television right now, I for one hope it isn’t so. Before I get into this week’s episode I am going to rant for 446 words.

The Rant:

In the article I just linked to and all across the internet there is quite a bit of heated discussion about this show and Aaron Sorkin in general. As is typical for internet discussion the talk quickly turns nasty and we get a fine bit of banter consisting of “this show is too smart for the stupid, slovenly masses” and “Actually I’m a genius and this show has terrible writing.”

All of this has made me ponder why I like the show so much, and as my captive audience, you get to follow me through it.

I’ve always dug behind-the-scenes looks at whatever and especially dig behind-the-scenes looks at movies. I’ve never seen a movie about making movies I didn’t like, and it is fascinating to me to watch these guys struggle to make TV every week.

The fact is I haven’t watched Saturday Night Live in years, but I don’t care. This show isn’t SNL. It isn’t even a behind-the-scenes look at SNL. It’s fiction. The argument that SNL isn’t relative anymore doesn’t make sense to me. This isn’t a show about how awesome sketch comedy is, it’s about making a sketch comedy show. Are the characters passionate about making their show? Certainly, but why is this a negative? Should they just throw the slop together? In its prime SNL was top-notch comedy, and you can bet it took a lot of work to make it. That’s what these guys are trying to do.

I also love the ensemble and that we get to follow multiple storylines. If the show lasts, this will make for better TV as we have so many characters’ lives to take part in. Though the show is taking hits for taking shots at Christianity I find that it is carrying on some of the most thoughtful debate on religion in the media. Harriet is the kind of Christian that I find in real life, not the ones you see on TV. She’s not Catholic nor the die-hard fundamentalist that runs from everything liberal. She’s a normal sort of person trying to live her life right but is still kind to those who don’t believe.

Sure, the non-Christians get the better lines, but there is a real dialogue going on which is more than you can say for most outlets.

I like the writing, I like the dialogue, I like the actors. Geez, I even like Matthew Perry and he’s usually as annoying as crap. I don’t care if others don’t like it or think the dialogue is crap. I’m not better than them. But I do hope enough people watch to keep the show going.

The plot: This is the first part of a two-parter which will conclude next week. It was also an experimental episode chronologically, meaning that the opening scene actually takes place at the end of this episode and most likely in the middle of the action of the two parts. From the opener, the rest of the episode jumps around in time explaining the peculiar events that we see as the show opens.

The peculiar event is Tom (who is dressed as Jesus) who has been arrested and put into a Pahrump, Nevada jail. There to rescue him are Simon (who is there because Tom was wearing his jacket, which contained a marijuana joint), Danny, an NBS lawyer, Jack, and two unknown Chinese people.

Tom is dressed as Jesus because he was rehearsing for a skit when the LA police arrested him. He was arrested because he assaulted a gay man. He assaulted a gay man because the man and his buddies were harassing Harriet. They were harassing Harriet because she was quoted in a tabloid as having said that the Bible condemns homosexuality. She was actually misquoted and her real speech spoke more towards tolerance than condemnation. He is in a Nevada jail because there was a warrant out for his arrest. He has a warrant against him because he got a speeding ticket there and never showed up to pay it.

Jack is at the jail because the older Chinese man (who could be responsible for a very lucrative NBC deal) is there. He is there because his daughter (and translator) is there. She is there because she wanted to meet Tom, and was willing to take a detour from her flight to New York. And Tom is there because…well you know why Tom is there.
The review: ***1/2

Another very good episode. The whole Pulp Fiction time blender was both interesting and annoying. Interesting because it is fun to see the weird ending and see how they got there piecemeal. It is annoying for basically the same reason. That maneuver kind of ruins the impact of the events. When the dog finds the pot in the jacket, we already know there is pot in the jacket and that the cops will find it. We only don’t know how they find it, but when they do it isn’t a surprise, and thus not emotionally impacting. This type of thing has also been done plenty of times before, but every time it is done they act like it is innovative.

It isn’t. Stop doing it. Show the events in order. It’s better that way.

Otherwise, I liked it. I really do like the Harriet character. I really do like that everyone mocks her beliefs but she hangs tight with them.

I still say the skits are funny. Everybody else disagrees. But Jesus as the head of Standards and Practices is funny. The skit a few episodes ago with Simon in the rain was funny. Sure, not all of them are killer (at least what we are allowed to see) and Harriet isn’t brilliant with impressions, but what I’ve seen here is much funnier than the last skits I saw from SNL.

Oh, and I loved John Goodman as the judge.

Best Lines:

Harriet: I said the Bible says it’s a sin. It also says judge not lest ye be judged, and that it was something for smarter people than me to decide.
Matt: “Ye” is a word you don’t hear a lot.
Harriet: I manage to see every piece of my press.
Matt: We have a press department, I get a daily press packet. They highlight what they want me to see – this one has a highlight, an arrow, and a sticker!
Harriet: Well, as I said, they left out the second sentence.
Matt: Yeah, can I ask you something? Does your ass hurt from straddling the fence like that all the time?

Matt: It’s one thing to be asked to respect someone else’s religion, it’s another to be asked to respect their taboos. In my religion, it’s disrespectful to God not to keep your head covered. You don’t see me insisting that the cast of CSI: Miami wear yarmulkes.
Danny: That’d be an unusual creative direction for CSI: Miami

Matt: You don’t like kids and dogs?
Jordan: Yeah. Or orphans. Why? Is that bad?
Matt: Half the shows in prime time start with two strippers getting strangled after a lap dance, and that’s fine with me but if it’s also fine with Jesus then I don’t see the need to tiptoe around his name

The Simpsons: Season 18, Episode 4 – “Treehouse of Horror XVII

treehouse of horror

Opener: Point of View Camera wanders, and stumbles, through a haunted house, ending upon an opened coffin that lets loose a pile of animals finally revealing Mr. Burns as the “Master of Scare-a-Monies” which Smithers finds hilarious, but Moe rejects before he is killed by an iron maiden. His blood then spells out “Treehouse of Horror XVII.” For which Moe asks us to look at “my genius blood with the fancy Roman numerals and everything.”

Story I: “Married to the Blob”

Plot: A comet lands in the Simpson’s backyard and Homer immediately eats the oozing goo coming out of it. This gives him an insatiable appetite (even bigger than his normal one) and he begins eating anything and everything including the Simpson’s cat, local teenagers, and Dr. Phil. When Marge scolds him, they decide he needs to do something for the greater good, which turns out to be eating all of the homeless people.

Parody Song: “Baby Likes Fat” to the tune of the Sir Mix-A lot’s “Baby Got Back”

Best Lines:

Homer when the comet goo begins oozing out of his orifices, “If I can keep down Arby’s, I can keep this down.”
Marge scolding Homer for trying to eat Bart, “You won’t eat my stuffed peppers, but you’ll eat our son.”

Review: The Dr. Phil gag as well as the parody song were cute, but barely got more than a grin out of me. Homer growing fat has been done, so him growing grotesquely fat just isn’t that funny.

Story II: “You Got to Know When to Golem”

Plot: Bart discovers the Golem in Krusty’s prop room and promptly steals him to do his petty bidding (beating up the bullies, kicking Homer in the balls, and killing Principal Skinner.) Lisa orders the Golem to speak, believing that it despises doing such horrible things and as it turns out, he does (and also makes lots of bad Jewish jokes.) Marge makes a Play-Doh girl golem and the two marry.

Best Lines:

Groundskeeper Willie to a cut-in-half Skinner, “You’ll make better mulch than you made a man.”

Review: Weak, weak, weak. The Golem story is a great one and had comedy potential, but making it do Bart’s bidding was just blah.

Story III: “The Day the Earth Looked Stupid”

Plot: A parody of the hysteria following Orson Welles’s reading of “War of the Worlds” with Springfield getting the hysteria and then being attacked for real by Kang and Kodos. The ending mocked the war in Iraq. Unhilarity ensued.

Best lines:

Big Band Stu, instead of Disco Stu (since the scene takes place in the 1940s)
Homer after the rioting “I’m proud of what I achieved during my rioting. It was either kill him or kill no one.”
Radio announcer during “War of the Worlds,” “Astronomers say the ominous capsule originated from Earth’s closest neighbors.” Homer: “Flanders?”

Review: Parodies of this have been done. And that much better. Big Band Stu was the best line of the night, which isn’t saying much.

Episode Review: I’m a big fan of the Halloween episodes, but like the series they have suffered over the last few years. With three segments per episode all of the gags have to be dead on, and that’s got to be tough to do with a horror theme for 17 years straight. This one was especially disappointing since this season has turned out to be a refreshingly funny one. On top of that, the long break between new episodes had me salivating for tonight. Oh well, there is always next week.

Time Zone Blues

Originally written on November 03, 2006.

I grew up in Oklahoma, which is in the Central Time Zone. It is an odd time zone, TV-wise in that the prime time programs begin at 7 in the PM, instead of 8. As a child growing up, this was a particularly marvelous thing as it allowed me to see many programs that I would have never seen living in the Eastern Zone where Prime Time starts at 8.

As a youngster, my bedtime for many years was 9 o’clock. However, Mother would allow us to stay up until ten one night a week. Normally this night was reserved for Remington Steele, but I can remember many a long internal debate during special events such as the Olympics or the Grammy Awards when I would have to decide as to what to stay up for.

Many’s the time I thanked my God for letting me live in the only sensible time zone that allowed me to catch my favorite programs, and even one special show a week, instead of those other awful zones keeping people up until 11 for their prime time viewing. What would I do, I thought to myself, if I lived in South Carolina or New York City and was not allowed to see such amazing detective comedies?

Post college I have lived almost solely in the Eastern Time Zone and have come to dearly love it. Really, seven is way too early to start a television regiment, and being a big boy I don’t mind staying up late to finish up the good programming.

This week I am visiting my parents in Oklahoma and am back to the old Central Time Zone. Not staying long enough to move my watch back an hour I am perpetually thinking I’m late, or that it is later in the day than it actually is. This is not always a horrid thing as I have been helping my father with some work. He starts his day at a quarter to seven and eats his lunch at the ungodly hour of 11 AM. But to my glorious Eastern brain, that’s a quarter to 8 and the much more mundane luncheon time of straight up noon.

Ah, but here’s the rub. Tonight I sat with great anticipation for My Name is Earl and the best comedy on TV otherwise known as The Office, while catching a rerun of The Daily Show and the Colbert Report. Tick Tock Tick Tock, I waited and waited through the political jokes and barbs. At 7:45 I began searching through the channel guide looking for NBC and thus the correct channel for my television fix.

Ahhhhhhh! The Office is already halfway through! How can this be?

Damn you Central Time Zone and you’re early prime time arrangements. Of course, my show was nearly over as The Office starts at 7:30 in Oklahoma instead of 8:30 like the rest of the bloody world.

I knew there was some reason I moved and have never came back.

Lost: Season Three, Episode Five – “The Cost of Living”

lost the cost of living The Revelations:

Desmond understands that the Pearl station can be used to communicate with the Others
It was Ben’s spinal x-ray in the previous episode
The whole purpose of capturing Jack was so that he would operate on Ben
Mr. Eko is one bad mother, until he dies.

The Plot: Mr. Eko awakens from his coma to find his dead priest of a brother telling him to confess. He rushes through the jungle to find him, or rather the body in the plane, only to find it empty. He is looked upon by the big black smoke but it runs away when Eko flashes his knife. At least for a moment. Eko eventually catches up to his spirit brother only to say that he will not confess. He feels everything he has done has been for a purpose and he does not feel guilty.

The big black smoke appears again, and beats the living crap out of Eko, eventually killing him. While doing so the smoke appears kind of like a big animal which leads to questions about the smoke possibly having formed into Eko’s brother and perhaps other mysterious animals on the island.

Meanwhile, The Others are playing nice to Jack, but Jack isn’t quite ready to accept them as pals. It starts with a stroll with Ben to Colleen’s funeral and ends with Ben admitting that Jack’s capture was all a ruse to get him on their side so that he would be willing to operate on his spinal tumor.

Later Juliet talks with Jack asking him to please do the operation all the while a video tape plays with her holding up signs reading her displeasure with Ben and that Jack should operate, but only to kill him.

The Flashback: Keeping with the Eko-centricity of the episode, the flashback gave further details of Eko’s past. Mainly Eko involves himself in terrible deeds to help his brother and feeling no remorse for it.

The Rating: ***1/2
The flashbacks, though important to understanding Mr. Eko, were kind of boring. Watching him kill the gangsters in the church was cool, but overall the back story was way too long and only served to say that Eko isn’t sorry for the life he has lived.

The long trek to Pearl was also dull. However, the second half of the show really kicked into high gear. Who the crap is the guy with the patch? Are all the mysterious things we’ve seen thus far really the big black smoke in disguise? Will Jack make friendly with Ben and save him? Or will he hook up with Juliet and kill? Or is the whole murder plot just another Other misdirect? Very cool stuff and super exciting.