Studio 60 On The Sunset Strip: Season 1, Episode 10 – “B-12”

studio 60 b12

This week’s episode was another jumble of time frames. Unlike the Nevada Day episode, it didn’t start with a large culmination of events and then backtracked to give us an understanding of what happened. Rather it was more like Pulp Fiction in that it moved backwards and forwards within one week.

Honestly, I spent the first 2/3rds of the episode cursing that it was yet again using an odd time sequence, and yet in the last third the payoff was so good that I am now praising the technique.

The episode begins with the opening monologue of the show within the show. Howie Mandell is the guest host and he declares that he’s looking forward to leaving behind Deal or No Deal for the night and getting back to his improvisational comedy roots. Danny Tripp then comes on the stage, critiquing his monologue and bringing with him two ladies carrying numbered briefcases. The gag is Howie has to choose one case like on his game show. Tripp even pretends to get a call from the banker.

It reminded me a lot of most Saturday Night Live opening monologues in that it was really silly and not very funny at all.

During this bit, the camera moves backstage and we see that most of the cast has contracted a nasty little virus. They are all being injected with a B-12 booster shot to allow them to make it through the night.

Once Tripp is off stage he is handed a note from Matt stating “5 dead in Grosse Point.”

The reporter, Martha O’Dell is back, and Tripp tries to have it out with her over the story she wrote. It seems she wrote that Tom’s latest movie was a failure and cites the anonymous Aint It News commenter, Dilbert27 as her source. This infuriates Tripp as it doesn’t seem professional to him. Despite Tripp’s protest, Martha has complete access to the show and remains unphased by his harassment.

Matt gives Lucy and Darius the chance to write a single sketch for the show involving a bumbled robbery/hostage attempt. The two are completely unprepared and nervous so Matt brings in an old show writer, one described by Tripp as “very serious.” He is, in fact, very serious and stoic, but he turns into a great mentor for the two freshman writers.

He abuses them and scolds them and ultimately talks Matt into letting them see if performed during the Friday rehearsal. It bombs, as he knew it would but figures this in the only way to instill the fear of god into them and make them write a good sketch. It does and it is slated to run on Saturday.

Through various flashbacks we see everyone engrossed in an ongoing news story about a man holding his family hostage.

Harriett has been inducted into the Falstaff society and at her ceremony she is required to tell a joke. Turns out she can’t tell a joke worth crap. In several hilarious scenes, we see Matt giving her a joke only to have her butcher it completely with her faulty memory and terrible timing.

Jack and Jordan have it out over her personal life getting in the way and she finally agrees to do a Time interview to try to smooth things out. It goes extremely poorly as she first tries to make jokes for answers and ultimately rails against him for making assumptions about how the industry is working against her.

Matt tries to rile Tripp up over a bad joke concerning the B-12 and how it cannot be taken by someone pregnant.

Dylan collapses just after the completely unfunny Bachelor in Rome skit in which he is dressed as a woman.

Unfortunately, the freshman skit about the bumbling criminal cannot be performed due to the sad news about the 5 dead in Grosse Pointe.

Jordan breaks down in Tripp’s office but refuses to take the B-12 and the night’s bombshell comes out that she is pregnant. This was a little sleight of hand by the marketing department as all the previews made this look like she was indeed fired.

Both instances completed the off-kilter time use and created a very moving couple of moments.

Review: ****

The queer timelines ultimately paid off. In retrospect, I like this episode more and more as it really demonstrated Sorkin’s ability to write a good story and interweave all the various lines. The show moved back into serious drama territory but managed to score some very nice comedy with Harriett bumbling her joke.

The Simpsons: Season 18, Episode 7 – “Ice Cream of Margie (With the Light Blue Hair)”

the simpsons ice cream of margie

The Couch Gag: The entire Simpsons family turns into a bunch of giant cockroaches and scurry away.

Number of out loud laughs: 2

The Plot: Bart is seen opening cereal boxes in order to get the toy prize and then feeding the rest of the cereal to the dog. When questioned on why he is so wasteful Bart’s only response is that he doesn’t know, but that he also only eats the eyes of the lobsters. Marge chastises the boy by saying “Your father works very hard to put lobsters on the table.” We then cut to Homer playing a game of chair hockey with the rest of the gang at the nuclear plant.

Mr. Burns after walking in on the game chastises Homer for goofing off, but Homer is unable to pay attention as an ice cream truck is driving by. When Mr. Burns yells some more, Homer looks back at him only to find Mr. Burns looks just like a giant ice cream cone and is commanding that Homer lick him. He does and this gets him fired.

Running after the ice cream truck, the owner gladly stops, knowing Homer by name. Homer buys a popsicle but only has a hundred dollar bill to pay for it. The man dies of exhaustion making change out of actual coin change.

Out of a job Homer takes up driving the truck and finds his new dream job. Meanwhile Marge has watched an episode of Opal (an obvious spoof of Oprah) where her guest demeans women who stay at home making Marge feel terrible.

Trying to better herself Marge begins making sculptures out of the leftover popsicle sticks and becomes quite good at it. Kent Brockman takes notice after reporting on Snake being chased by the cops. Marge sets up a big presentation of her sculptures and makes Homer promise he will be there for it.

Homer makes the promise, but says he must make his route first or his kids will think he neglected them. Finding a divorced dad picnic he takes advantage of the fathers by saying that ice cream will make up for their neglect. He makes big money, but forgets about the time. With only moments to spare he races back home through the back woods. Unfortunately he hits an owl, a boy scout and a bear which causes him to skid out of control and wipe out all of the sculptures.

Marge is furious, but Homer wins back her heart by pleading with her and taking multiple Polaroid’s of himself with a sad face. To show her forgiveness she creates a giant Homer sculpture which, in a jump to the future 200 years is shown as the last piece of art that survived after the iPods banded together and took over the world.

Review: **

Worst episode this season. The writers are still following their season trend of trying to maintain an actual plot versus throwing a bunch of nonsensical gags around, but this one just fell flat.

The thing about previous seasons was not only were they basically throwing plot out the window, but it always felt like they were overproducing themselves and acting like they were the hippest kids in school while failing to produce a show similar to what made them great in the first place. It’s like Seinfeld in the last couple of seasons where they kept coming up with all these crazy scenarios and forgot it was the conversations that made it great.

I’m ecstatic that they’ve finally gone back to the basics, but an actual plot isn’t always actually funny. The jokes were mostly lame and the story never really took off.

Here’s looking at next week.

Trivia

A possible revelation about the location of Springfield, Snake Jailbird reports a traffic jam at the 101-405 interchange, both of which run up the Pacific Coast of the United States. Their interchange is in the San Fernando Valley in Los Angeles, CA
Greta Wolfcastle can be seen (for the first time since “The Bart Wants What it Wants”) with her father Rainier Wolfcastle buying ice cream.
Ned Flanders’ late wife, Maude Flanders, is seen as one of Marge’s popsicle sculptures.
Comic Book Guy comments on the absence of a good Star Wars movie since the first one, bemoaning as well, the extensive use of CGI in the later re-releases.

Cultural References

The title of this episode cites Stephen Foster’s song “I Dream of Jeannie With the Light Brown Hair”.
The scene when Homer dresses spoofs the opening of Da Ali G Show.
The revelation of the customized iced-cream truck is a parody of Pimp My Ride, set to the Missy Elliott song “Get Ur Freak On”.
The Dire Straits song “Money for Nothing” plays as Homer comes down the street to sell ice cream.
The music played during the montage of Marge creating popsicle-stick sculptures is “Feels So Good” by Chuck Mangione.

And yes, I stole the references and trivia from Wikipedia.

Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip: Season 1, Episode 9 – “The Option Period”

studio 60 the option period

The Plot: The episode begins with the closing of last week’s Studio 60 show. Well, actually, since last week I was down and out, let’s talk about that episode too. My recap of that will be short since I didn’t take notes and my memory is faulty.

Though he suffers a few more small-town shenanigans, Tom is released from jail when the judge finds out that Tom’s brother is serving multiple tours in Iraq. The Chinese girl discovers a tabloid that gossips about what Jordan’s ex-husband has been blathering about. She shows her dad and then misinterprets him as saying that Jordan has brought shame unto herself and NBS. Jack then goes into a furious rant about how Jordan and the entire crew have a great deal of character for going through the mess they just went through and that the Chinese man can basically shove it. It was a great feel-good, stand-up, and cheer moment.

There is then a realization that the interpretation was wrong and that what was actually said was that the ex-husband was disgraceful and brought shame upon himself.

This week is another continuation of the plot, beginning as last week’s Studio 60 show ends.

The show actually ended 36 seconds short causing guest host Jessica Simpson to ask for prayers for the “mid-west” as opposed to the Middle East where the war is happening. Many jokes about the poor people from Indiana were made.

The show ended early due to Ron and Ricky printing the script on the wrong paper, or font. That’s some pretty deep insider stuff there but apparently longer shows are printed differently than shorter half-hour shows. The number of pages a script comes in indicates precisely how long the show will run. Ron and Ricky are writing a half-hour show, entitled “Peripheral View Man” for another network in an attempt to leave Studio 60.

The only problem is that NBS holds the rights to “Peripheral View Man” until the day ends. As Matt discovers all of this he threatens to option the show again just to screw with Ron and Ricky. Some pretty bitter stuff comes out of this as Ron lays all of his frustrations of being essentially made a lame duck out to Matt and then leaves. Matt eventually agrees to let them have it and to let the two men go. As they leave they indicate they’ll be taking all of the writing staff save the new guy and the Australian chick (I know I should know their names, but darned if I can find them.)

Harriett is thinking of doing a magazine spread in nothing but her skivvies. She’s doing this because she was turned down for a starring movie role due to people not thinking she is sexy enough. Simon and Tom try to talk her out of it because they feel it will hurt her image as a good Christian woman. Matt also tries to talk her out of it, but he claims that she would only be doing it out of revenge, and that’s not the type of person she is. In doing so he seems to talk himself out of optioning “Peripheral View Man,” too.

Jordan tells Danny that he either has to fire 15 people or start using product placement. This all stems from the fact that the Chinese man is doing his deal with NBS. Here it again gets pretty insider, but the basics of the financial mumbo jumbo is that the investment takes a great deal of money which makes them have to cut back elsewhere.

Much wrangling ensues, but Cal finally finds a solution in changing the main set to look like Sunset Strip. Since Sunset is full of its own giant billboards, it can mimic them and sell its own advertising.

Review: ****

This was the funniest episode I have seen to date. Generally, there are a few good jokes scattered throughout, but the concentration remains on the drama. Tonight, while still staying within character and the drama, they were throwing down some beautiful jokes.

I especially enjoyed Simon and Tom trying to talk Harriet out of the photo shoot, while still insisting they are pro-naked girls.

The drama played itself out nicely. It was a little less melodramatic than previous episodes sticking mostly to the lingerie shoot and having product placements. To me, this is where the show should stay. Good drama doesn’t have to be so serious. More humor balances it out and makes a better show.

It doesn’t look like they will be following my advice though, since the episode ended with Danny telling Jordan that she will probably be fired. The preview for next week indicates that’s exactly what will happen.

The Simpsons: Season 18, Episode 6 – “Moe ‘N’ a Lisa”

the simpsons moe n a lisa

Coming off of the lackluster Treehouse of Horror, the Simpsons created what may be the best episode of the season thus far. It was filled with good gags, good guest appearances, and a good story. I’m also feeling a bit better from a week of the flu and nothing but lousy. This means the blog should get some more regular updating, and hopefully reviews of all the stuff I missed last week.

Best Line: “That’s it Franzen, I think your nose needs some ‘Corrections.’”

Guest Stars: Tom Wolfe, Gore Vidal, Michael Chabon, Jonathan Franzen, and JK Simmons.

Plot: Homer wakes up to find the words “Don’t Forget” inscribed all over the house (including his belly, the dog and cat, and from alphabet cereal coughed up by Maggie,) yet he cannot remember what he is not supposed to forget. Marge reminds him that they are supposed to go to the senior Olympics to watch Grandpa participate. As they leave, Moe calls dressed in a fishing outfit and leaves a message for Homer to pick him up for their birthday outing.

Grandpa wants desperately to win the gold as he fears this will be his last Olympics (his first being at Berlin in 1936 where he nearly javelined Hitler to death but missed, killing an actual assassin instead.) But Grandpa can’t catch a break, losing every event, until he drops his dentures. Groundskeeper Willie picks them up, but a wardrobe malfunction makes him look like the Grim Reaper and a scared Grandpa picks up steam to win the race.

Later as the Simpsons return home, Homer sees Moe on their doorstep and remembers what he forgot. Ducking down in the car to hide they drive to the back of the house where they then eat their dinner hiding under the table. Though Marge says “We can’t scuttle around like craps for the rest of our lives,” Homer continues to crawl around the floor reaching upwards for food, and eventually gets into a crab-like fight with Bart.

Moe throws a brick through the window and Lisa is intrigued by his desperate, sadly poetic words. Looking for a hero to write an essay about she follows Moe home and finds that he scribbles his poetry onto sticky notes. With Moe’s permission, she combines the notes into a larger poem and submits it to a poetry magazine where it is turned into a book. Moe quickly becomes a poetry sensation.

At the WordLoaf conference, he is met by such luminaries as Gore Vidal and Tom Wolfe. Fearing he’ll be kicked out for getting help from Lisa, Moe acts as if he came up with the title for his book (when in fact Lisa did) and needed no help whatsoever with his writing.

When asked to write a new poem for his acceptance as “Best New Poet” Moe asks Lisa to help him, but she refuses. So, Moe steals an elevator warning sign and the motel television guide and reads those. He is booed and jeered until Lisa walks in at which point Moe makes up a heartfelt poem asking for forgiveness.

Rating: ****

Had this been season five this episode would have probably received a lesser rating, but this was one of the best episodes I’ve seen in many a year. The gags were very clever and the story flowed quite well. The wife and I both laughed heartily throughout. So much so that I didn’t even think to actually count the number of times. A very good sign indeed.

Best Moments:

Grandpa after he nearly killed Hitler with a javelin: “The next time I saw Hitler we had dinner and laughed about it.”
Grandpa to what he thinks is the Grim Reaper, while holding Bart hostage: “Take the boy, his soul is fresher.”
The poetry magazine editor acts exactly like the newspaper boss in Spiderman.
Homer to a man whose house he has just driven through (because he thought it was a covered bridge): “We should exchange insurance information. I have none.”
Moe to the geese who are eating his poetic sticky notes: “Stupid geese, you’re eating my brilliance.”
The whole Franzen, Chabon exchange was just brilliant.

Lost: Season 3, Episode 6 – “I Do”

lost i do

The Revelations:

Jack decides to operate on Ben
Kate learns about the two islands
Locke sees “Lift up your eyes and look north” written on Eko’s stick.

The Plot: The episode focused mainly on Jack, Sawyer, and Kate, but we did catch a quick flashback of Eko’s funeral. Just prior to the funeral Sayid and Locke have a discussion about the Big Black Smoke thing.

While Kate and Sawyer are working, Alex comes running out with a slingshot and makes the most of it before she is captured.

Jack tells Ben he will not operate on him and that he’ll enjoy watching him die, and that will be right soon. Pickett begins eyeing Sawyer again, and Juliet tells Kate that unless Jack operates, Sawyer will die. She then leads Kate to Jack, and there is a nice reunion before Kate begs for Sawyer’s life. Jack again refuses.

Emotional Kate climbs over to Sawyer’s cage and admits she loves him and they sex it up.

Jack hears a voice on his intercom and finds his door open. Down the hall, another door is opened leading to the video chamber, which happens to have a monitor on the naked Sawyer and Kate. Ben comes in and Jack says that he’ll operate for his freedom.

During the operation, Jack slices into Ben’s liver giving him a hospital hostage of sorts. He uses this leverage to free Kate and Sawyer.

The Flashback: Kate marries a Miami police officer and tries to have a normal life. She even calls the US Marshall to beg for her life. The Marshall says she can have it, but only if she stays put. She can’t stay put and winds up admitting everything to her husband before drugging him and running.

The Review: **1/2

The flashback was totally pointless. It was boring and didn’t add much to Kate’s character. The only thing to really gain from it was that she can’t stay still and truly trust anyone, well until she gives herself to Sawyer.

Most of the episode was pretty dull. It only got interesting when Jack sliced into Ben, and that was the last quarter. I did dig the note on Eko’s stick and am anxious to see where it leads.

Admittedly I was thoroughly distracted during this episode. My parents came home in the middle of it and asked me a ton of questions. They don’t watch it but decided to start quizzing me on it while it was airing. Then my cousin came by and kept asking about my notebook (on which I write my show notes.)

From the Alex show, there were some cryptic conversations that make it sound as if she made it to the second island on her own. Seemingly there is another way across other than by boat or the submarine. Perhaps Kate and Sawyer will find the way.

I suspect Locke will indeed look North and find the island. If they realize what they are up against, perhaps they will revolt and get somewhere.

This was the last episode until next year. The interim show, Daybreak looks interesting. If it is I’ll keep up with it here.

House: Season 3, Episode 6 – “Que Sera Sera”

house que sera sera

The Lead In: Firefighters find a gigantically obese man in a relatively burned-out apartment. Thinking he is dead they flirt with fat jokes and try to remove the body until the man farts. Realizing he is alive the fat man is rushed to the hospital.

The Plot: Though the MRI table is not rated to withhold a man of that size, Cameron insists they try. In the middle of the MRI the fat man, George awakens, freaks out over being in the strange machine, and collapses the table.

Awakened, George simply wants to be released. Though the doctors urge him to undergo tests to determine what is wrong, George is tired of doctors treating him for his obesity and wants to be left alone. As he is walking out of the hospital, he collapses and crashes through a window. We later learn that Cameron drugged him to keep him in the hospital.

Thinking it could be a parasite House orders brain surgery. During the surgery, George goes blind and again freaks out. They find no parasites, and House orders a diabetes test. George refuses the tests stating that he will only be treated for non-eating related disorders, as he has been fat his entire life and not had this problem.

After trying to force the sugar water on George, House notices an abnormality in his hand and determines the problem.

The Diagnosis: Lung cancer.

The Subplot: In continuation with last week’s episode, Detective Tritter is still after House. In a search of House’s house, Tritter discovers a large bag full of Vicoden. This adds drug trafficking to the list of charges against House.

Eventually, House gets a good lawyer and the charges seem to be dropped, though the episode ends with Tritter quizzing Wilson about his prescriptions for the Vicoden. He is especially interested in a few signatures that don’t seem to match and vaguely threatens Wilson to tell the truth or face trouble.

Best Lines:

House (while in jail): Hey Gomer Pyle, I know you can hear me.
Tritter: I think you mean Barney Fife.
House: So many idiot icons to choose from.

House: Apparently Cuddy has widened her sperm donor search to Neanderthals. (Answering the question as to who Tritter is when he leaves the hospital.)

Review: ***

They attempted to give George an interesting personality, and mostly they got it right. I dig that he isn’t ashamed of his obesity, and even felt a little for him having to constantly deal with doctors trying to treat him for the same types of diseases because he is fat. But they pushed that a little hard and he wound up looking like a crazy crybaby. Ultimately the episode felt like a means to make fat jokes and have a bizarre character for ratings.

I still dig the whole Detective subplot, but it seems to be taking a lot away from the main story. The last two weeks have proven to be very weak in the medical mysteries area. I can’t help but wonder if this isn’t a strategy to move a little bit away from the mysteries to give the show a longer life. As my mom says, every episode is the same – somebody has a weird illness, and House makes wisecracks then figures it out. By creating an interesting subplot they could be changing the show a little bit to make it more interesting.

We’ll see.

Studio 60 On the Sunset Strip: Season 1, Episode 7 – “Nevada Day, Part 1”

studio 60 nevada day

Originally written on November 08, 2006.

With declining ratings, there is much talk of Studio 60 being canceled. Being the best show on television right now, I for one hope it isn’t so. Before I get into this week’s episode I am going to rant for 446 words.

The Rant:

In the article I just linked to and all across the internet there is quite a bit of heated discussion about this show and Aaron Sorkin in general. As is typical for internet discussion the talk quickly turns nasty and we get a fine bit of banter consisting of “this show is too smart for the stupid, slovenly masses” and “Actually I’m a genius and this show has terrible writing.”

All of this has made me ponder why I like the show so much, and as my captive audience, you get to follow me through it.

I’ve always dug behind-the-scenes looks at whatever and especially dig behind-the-scenes looks at movies. I’ve never seen a movie about making movies I didn’t like, and it is fascinating to me to watch these guys struggle to make TV every week.

The fact is I haven’t watched Saturday Night Live in years, but I don’t care. This show isn’t SNL. It isn’t even a behind-the-scenes look at SNL. It’s fiction. The argument that SNL isn’t relative anymore doesn’t make sense to me. This isn’t a show about how awesome sketch comedy is, it’s about making a sketch comedy show. Are the characters passionate about making their show? Certainly, but why is this a negative? Should they just throw the slop together? In its prime SNL was top-notch comedy, and you can bet it took a lot of work to make it. That’s what these guys are trying to do.

I also love the ensemble and that we get to follow multiple storylines. If the show lasts, this will make for better TV as we have so many characters’ lives to take part in. Though the show is taking hits for taking shots at Christianity I find that it is carrying on some of the most thoughtful debate on religion in the media. Harriet is the kind of Christian that I find in real life, not the ones you see on TV. She’s not Catholic nor the die-hard fundamentalist that runs from everything liberal. She’s a normal sort of person trying to live her life right but is still kind to those who don’t believe.

Sure, the non-Christians get the better lines, but there is a real dialogue going on which is more than you can say for most outlets.

I like the writing, I like the dialogue, I like the actors. Geez, I even like Matthew Perry and he’s usually as annoying as crap. I don’t care if others don’t like it or think the dialogue is crap. I’m not better than them. But I do hope enough people watch to keep the show going.

The plot: This is the first part of a two-parter which will conclude next week. It was also an experimental episode chronologically, meaning that the opening scene actually takes place at the end of this episode and most likely in the middle of the action of the two parts. From the opener, the rest of the episode jumps around in time explaining the peculiar events that we see as the show opens.

The peculiar event is Tom (who is dressed as Jesus) who has been arrested and put into a Pahrump, Nevada jail. There to rescue him are Simon (who is there because Tom was wearing his jacket, which contained a marijuana joint), Danny, an NBS lawyer, Jack, and two unknown Chinese people.

Tom is dressed as Jesus because he was rehearsing for a skit when the LA police arrested him. He was arrested because he assaulted a gay man. He assaulted a gay man because the man and his buddies were harassing Harriet. They were harassing Harriet because she was quoted in a tabloid as having said that the Bible condemns homosexuality. She was actually misquoted and her real speech spoke more towards tolerance than condemnation. He is in a Nevada jail because there was a warrant out for his arrest. He has a warrant against him because he got a speeding ticket there and never showed up to pay it.

Jack is at the jail because the older Chinese man (who could be responsible for a very lucrative NBC deal) is there. He is there because his daughter (and translator) is there. She is there because she wanted to meet Tom, and was willing to take a detour from her flight to New York. And Tom is there because…well you know why Tom is there.
The review: ***1/2

Another very good episode. The whole Pulp Fiction time blender was both interesting and annoying. Interesting because it is fun to see the weird ending and see how they got there piecemeal. It is annoying for basically the same reason. That maneuver kind of ruins the impact of the events. When the dog finds the pot in the jacket, we already know there is pot in the jacket and that the cops will find it. We only don’t know how they find it, but when they do it isn’t a surprise, and thus not emotionally impacting. This type of thing has also been done plenty of times before, but every time it is done they act like it is innovative.

It isn’t. Stop doing it. Show the events in order. It’s better that way.

Otherwise, I liked it. I really do like the Harriet character. I really do like that everyone mocks her beliefs but she hangs tight with them.

I still say the skits are funny. Everybody else disagrees. But Jesus as the head of Standards and Practices is funny. The skit a few episodes ago with Simon in the rain was funny. Sure, not all of them are killer (at least what we are allowed to see) and Harriet isn’t brilliant with impressions, but what I’ve seen here is much funnier than the last skits I saw from SNL.

Oh, and I loved John Goodman as the judge.

Best Lines:

Harriet: I said the Bible says it’s a sin. It also says judge not lest ye be judged, and that it was something for smarter people than me to decide.
Matt: “Ye” is a word you don’t hear a lot.
Harriet: I manage to see every piece of my press.
Matt: We have a press department, I get a daily press packet. They highlight what they want me to see – this one has a highlight, an arrow, and a sticker!
Harriet: Well, as I said, they left out the second sentence.
Matt: Yeah, can I ask you something? Does your ass hurt from straddling the fence like that all the time?

Matt: It’s one thing to be asked to respect someone else’s religion, it’s another to be asked to respect their taboos. In my religion, it’s disrespectful to God not to keep your head covered. You don’t see me insisting that the cast of CSI: Miami wear yarmulkes.
Danny: That’d be an unusual creative direction for CSI: Miami

Matt: You don’t like kids and dogs?
Jordan: Yeah. Or orphans. Why? Is that bad?
Matt: Half the shows in prime time start with two strippers getting strangled after a lap dance, and that’s fine with me but if it’s also fine with Jesus then I don’t see the need to tiptoe around his name

The Simpsons: Season 18, Episode 4 – “Treehouse of Horror XVII

treehouse of horror

Opener: Point of View Camera wanders, and stumbles, through a haunted house, ending upon an opened coffin that lets loose a pile of animals finally revealing Mr. Burns as the “Master of Scare-a-Monies” which Smithers finds hilarious, but Moe rejects before he is killed by an iron maiden. His blood then spells out “Treehouse of Horror XVII.” For which Moe asks us to look at “my genius blood with the fancy Roman numerals and everything.”

Story I: “Married to the Blob”

Plot: A comet lands in the Simpson’s backyard and Homer immediately eats the oozing goo coming out of it. This gives him an insatiable appetite (even bigger than his normal one) and he begins eating anything and everything including the Simpson’s cat, local teenagers, and Dr. Phil. When Marge scolds him, they decide he needs to do something for the greater good, which turns out to be eating all of the homeless people.

Parody Song: “Baby Likes Fat” to the tune of the Sir Mix-A lot’s “Baby Got Back”

Best Lines:

Homer when the comet goo begins oozing out of his orifices, “If I can keep down Arby’s, I can keep this down.”
Marge scolding Homer for trying to eat Bart, “You won’t eat my stuffed peppers, but you’ll eat our son.”

Review: The Dr. Phil gag as well as the parody song were cute, but barely got more than a grin out of me. Homer growing fat has been done, so him growing grotesquely fat just isn’t that funny.

Story II: “You Got to Know When to Golem”

Plot: Bart discovers the Golem in Krusty’s prop room and promptly steals him to do his petty bidding (beating up the bullies, kicking Homer in the balls, and killing Principal Skinner.) Lisa orders the Golem to speak, believing that it despises doing such horrible things and as it turns out, he does (and also makes lots of bad Jewish jokes.) Marge makes a Play-Doh girl golem and the two marry.

Best Lines:

Groundskeeper Willie to a cut-in-half Skinner, “You’ll make better mulch than you made a man.”

Review: Weak, weak, weak. The Golem story is a great one and had comedy potential, but making it do Bart’s bidding was just blah.

Story III: “The Day the Earth Looked Stupid”

Plot: A parody of the hysteria following Orson Welles’s reading of “War of the Worlds” with Springfield getting the hysteria and then being attacked for real by Kang and Kodos. The ending mocked the war in Iraq. Unhilarity ensued.

Best lines:

Big Band Stu, instead of Disco Stu (since the scene takes place in the 1940s)
Homer after the rioting “I’m proud of what I achieved during my rioting. It was either kill him or kill no one.”
Radio announcer during “War of the Worlds,” “Astronomers say the ominous capsule originated from Earth’s closest neighbors.” Homer: “Flanders?”

Review: Parodies of this have been done. And that much better. Big Band Stu was the best line of the night, which isn’t saying much.

Episode Review: I’m a big fan of the Halloween episodes, but like the series they have suffered over the last few years. With three segments per episode all of the gags have to be dead on, and that’s got to be tough to do with a horror theme for 17 years straight. This one was especially disappointing since this season has turned out to be a refreshingly funny one. On top of that, the long break between new episodes had me salivating for tonight. Oh well, there is always next week.

House: Season Three, Episode Five – “Fools for Love”

house fools for love

Originally written on November 1, 2006.

The Lead In: A young, mixed race, married couple are finishing up dinner in a diner when the diner is robbed. Playing the hero, the young man attacks the robbers and wins only to find his wife lying on the floor unable to breathe.

The Plot: Thinking the wife, Tracy (Jurnee Smolett) could be having an infection that only shows up when she is active; Foreman puts her on the treadmill. Even though she complains of abdominal pains, and the husband, Bobby (Scott Rinker) screams, Foreman makes her continue running. Soon the husband has similar pains and, as it turns out, has the same illness.

Tracy later has a hallucination that Bobby’s pill-popping racist father is in the hospital telling her to leave Bobby alone, and for Bobby to not touch the girl as he begins to break his arm. From the hallucination, she goes into a coma.

The team eventually decides that they need to do a biopsy of Tracy’s brain stem, but they need Bobby’s permission to do so. There is much discussion of the ethics behind this, because Bobby may grant permission to do so simply because it could help cure him. It is decided that Wilson may do the asking as he has a way with people. Bobby refuses the biopsy, afraid of the risks, and decides that they should do it on him. The problem is that he does not yet have those symptoms and would have to go off meds to do so.

A biopsy isn’t needed as Bobby’s intestines begin to rot and a new diagnosis is given. It turns out that the two lovers are related and Bobby’s dad isn’t so racist after all. In fact, he is Tracy’s father as well and the illness is related to the incest.

Oooh.

The subplot: On one of his clinic stints, House ticks off a patient (David Morse) who calls House on his perpetual rudeness. In retribution, House gives the patient a rectal thermometer and leaves work before it is extracted.

The patient raises crap with Cuddy who tries to make House apologize. House refuses and ticks the patient off even more. Turns out the patient is actually Detective Tritter who nails House for speeding at the end of the episode. Well, speeding and drug possession, for carrying his pills without a prescription. The episode ends with House being arrested.

The Subplot Part II: House notices Wilson chatting up a pretty nurse and automatically suspects they are dating. This irritates House because a) House is alarmed that Wilson will screw up another relationship or b) House fears Wilson will wind up in a happy relationship and not need him anymore.

Much betting goes on between House and Foreman as to the actual nature between Wilson and the nurse until it is disclosed that it is Foreman who is dating the woman.

The rating: ***
This episode seemed a little off to me. The actual patients seemed to take a bigger back seat to the internal bickering and subplots. The incest conclusion seemed more tabloid than usually allowed on the show, and in the end, I didn’t particularly care about the patients at all.

The whole Detective Tritter arrests House plot should prove very interesting though.

The excuse: I watched the episode after having driven some 600 miles to my parent’s house. Watching with them is an interesting experience as they tend to talk loudly through the proceedings. That and the exhaustion made my viewing experience a little lax and most assuredly has an effect on this review.

Lost: Season Three, Episode Four – “Every Man For Himself”

New Revelations:

Desmond sees the future
Sawyer did time in prison
Jack, Kate, and Sawyer are on a second, smaller island

Plot:

Desmond is the new Locke.

At the beginning of the episode, we see him approach Claire and tell her that she needs to move while he fixes her roof. Claire and Charlie look at the roof but see no problems with it. Desmond then borrows a golf club from a character we haven’t seen before and creates a big giant pole with it. The club is at the top and has an electrical wire attached to it, stretching to the sand below.

Towards the end of the episode, Hurley and Desmond are talking, and Desmond asks Hurley to step back just as the storm hits. Claire, Charlie, and the baby are soaked under the roof and a bolt of lightning strikes the golf club, causing damage to itself but no one else.

I say again, Desmond is the new Locke.

The second island is the new hatch. Each season there is a single mystery that captures our attention for the duration. Last season it was the hatch and those numbers, this season it will be the second island.

In captivity we see the Others dragging a very injured Colleen past Sawyer and Kate. Sawyer uses this distraction to plan a means of escape. He uses his oddball food distributor to create a puddle of water outside the cage, hoping someone will step in it allowing him to use the electrocution device to knock out an Other and him to escape.

Ben, having watched this plan on the video, comes to Sawyer, and allows him to try the plan, but the electrocution has been turned off. Ben then beats Sawyer and drags him away. Inside several Others strap Sawyer down and stab a needle into his heart.

When Sawyer awakens Ben shakes a rabbit to the point of death. He tells Sawyer that the rabbit had the same heart injections, which stops the heart beating when it gets too excited. Sawyer now has a heart monitor and is told that if his rate goes above 140 he will die. It is also threatened that if Sawyer tells Kate about any of it, she will be given the same treatment.

Meanwhile, Juliet asks Jack (who is forced now to watch cartoons) to help Colleen, as she is dying. Jack tries to heal her, but she is too far gone, and without a defibrillator, he can do nothing but watch her die.

This displeases Colleen’s husband, Pickett, who rushes outside and beats Sawyer to a pulp. He repeatedly asks Kate if she loves Sawyer and only stops the beating when she admits she does.

Inside Jack is handcuffed to the table holding the dead Colleen until Juliet frees him. While there, Jack asks about the X-rays he saw on his way in. It appears this person’s spine has a large cancer on it, and Jack asks who it is he is supposed to save. (In next week’s preview, it appears it will be Ben.)

Outside, Kate learns that she can escape her cage by climbing through the bars at the top. She does so against Sawyer’s wishes and then attempts to free Sawyer. He begs her not to and tells her to run. They argue over Kate’s “love” while Sawyer continues to refuse to tell her what happened to him. In the end, Kate climbs back into the cage.

Later, Ben takes Sawyer to the top of a mountain where he explains to Sawyer that the heart problem was a lie conceived to make Sawyer obedient. He then takes Sawyer to the top of the mountain and shows him another island. That island is the one where all the survivors are, while he is being held on this smaller “Alcatraz.”

The flashback sequence consisted of Sawyer being in prison for one of his cons. While there a woman shows up claiming she has had Sawyer’s child. Sawyer feigns disinterest but later proves he has a heart.

Sawyer also learns another convict has ten million dollars stashed away. Sawyer earns this man’s trust enough to learn where the money is and then uses this information to buy his way out of prison. By telling the feds where it is, they release him early and apparently give him part of it in return. This money he has deposited into a band for his daughter.

Rating: ****

The Sawyer heart injection was one of the most intense moments of the series. This season they’ve been making the Others out to be decent, if terribly mysterious folks, and this moment put them right back to total evil territory.

I was quite relieved when it turned out to be fake as I was already tired of the monitor. It was a good gag to have the warning beep go off when Kate was changing clothes, but then to have the monitor register the same amount when Sawyer was getting beaten was ludicrous. I began to fear they would be using this device continuously throughout the series, and I knew that would be quite irritating.

Desmond becoming some sort of mystic psychic is quite interesting. I hope it doesn’t diminish Locke’s role as the same, but his character could prove to be quite fascinating.

Jack starting to help the Others as the doctor could go either way for me. It kind of ticked me off at first, because I felt that Jack would be so pissed off at them by now that he’d use it as a bargaining chip. But the doctor in him seems to be winning, and perhaps he is beginning to feel no other choice but to cooperate. We’ll see how it goes in the upcoming weeks.

I was reminded during the preview that they have actually only been on the island for two months. Being the third year for viewers it is easy to forget the actual timeline is much shorter, making the situation slightly less desperate.

Overall I am still growing tired of the constant tension and begin to wish there was a conclusion coming. However, the show still has me hooked and the tension sure is exciting.