The Abyss (1989)

the abyss movie poster

THERE WILL BE SPOILERS. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED

James Cameron as a director is a bit of a mixed bag. He has created some of the most phenomenal action showcases cinema has ever seen. His movies make loads of money and create a spectacle like no other. He has been part of the Alien quadrilogy, he created the Terminator, and there was that little movie about a couple of lovers on a sinking boat. For that little picture, he even won an Oscar. However, as a writer, he has also given us some patently ridiculous dialogue. It’s like he can create some pretty interesting story concepts, generate a great deal of tension between characters and pull off amazing action, but when it gets to finding the heart and soul of a character he pulls out the cheese. It is interesting than that my favorite Cameron movie would be so character-driven with only a few moments of grandiose action.

The Abyss came out in 1989 with a trimmed-down 146-minute run time. Later when the movie came to video Cameron released his director’s cut adding a significant amount of footage and bringing the time to 171 minutes. Most of this extra footage comes in at the end of the film and stands to clear up some major confusion wrought in the theatrical version. It seems that there are some creatures living at the bottom of the ocean and are rather perturbed at humanity’s prevalence for violence. It seems these creatures (aliens?) can manipulate water and have forced giant tidal waves to start approaching every major port. Humanity is saved when the creatures see the true love between the two main characters. It reminded me of the beginning quote from Genesis where God agrees to save Sodom and Gomorrah if He can find just 10 righteous people. In their case, He didn’t, and the cities were destroyed by sulfur and fire, but in Cameron’s tale, it seems that the rekindling of love between Ed Harris and Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio does save humanity.

What Cameron does extremely well in this picture is to create tension. From the claustrophobic setting of an underwater oil rig to the potential nuclear meltdown each scene slowly tightens the screws of suspense. The cold war plot raging outside of the main action reminded me a lot of 2010: the Year We Make Contact. In both pictures the main characters are isolated on vessels (a spaceship in 2010, an underwater oil well in The Abyss) while the USA and Russia bring conflict close to nuclear war back on earth (or above water). In both movies, this helps to add tension as it also dates the movies since the cold war is now over.

One of my favorite scenes involves the flooding of parts of the rig. Water comes rushing into the rig and several of the characters scurry to make it to safety and close off the doors to isolate the flooding. Ed Harris is saved by his wedding ring. One of the doors automatically starts to close and Harris sticks his hand in to stop the door, which normally would have crushed his hand, but because he still wears the ring the door does not fully close. This gives him enough time to be saved from the flooding waters. There was an earlier scene in which his wife asks him why he still wears the ring since they have separated. When I chose my own wedding ring I opted for a titanium band known for its extra strength. I can’t help but think of that scene every time I look at my own ring.

Much of the dialogue in The Abyss is of the heavy-handed, cliched variety that Cameron brings to pretty much all of his movies. Some of the extemporaneous characters bring little to the overall movie and help distract the viewer from the main plot. I think Cameron has done a very good job with the two main characters though. Ed Harris does a remarkable job playing his role as ‘boss’ on the rig while still arguing with his wife. Mastrantonio also does a fine job of portraying the tough-as-nails “Lindsay” while still remaining feminine and sympathetic.

The director’s cut ending is much debated in the online world. While it serves to clarify what was a rather abrupt and confusing ending in the original it also becomes quite preachy and is at a loss for any type of subtlety. Cameron attacks his anti-war message like Ripley against an Alien.

Even with some awful dialogue and a preachy ending, The Abyss still remains one of my favorite sci-fi movies. James Cameron creates tension like a master auteur and creates two of his best characters to date.

To Catch a Thief (1955)

to catch a thief poster

Alfred Hitchcock’s 1955 film To Catch a Thief is a light, fluffy picture that differs in content from much of the suspense masters’ other pictures. Cary Grant stars as a former thief, and patriot of the French Resistance, who is currently suspected of a new series of crimes. Grace Kelly plays the beautiful daughter of a rich American woman who is high on the list of possible victims of the new cat burglar.

The plot is all cotton candy. Shot in the French Riviera, Hitchcock allows his camera to take all of the beauty in. There are lots of lovely traveling shots of the location. Hitchcock follows cars driving the streets in high crane shots, simmers through the sea on a boat ride, and stops to take in the view of Cary Grant and Grace Kelly at a picnic overlooking a stunning valley.

Cary Grant is playing Cary Grant at this point, but that’s perfectly fine since there are few actors I enjoy more. Grace Kelly is simply gorgeous. Hitchcock’s camera is as admiring as a new suitor. Their interplay is fun, witty, and sensuous. A famous scene between them intercuts their developing romance with fireworks and is pure sizzle.

If you are looking to write a thesis on the genius of suspense then you should look elsewhere. But for a beautifully shot, light-hearted romance for a Saturday night, it would be difficult to find a better picture.

Rambling About Mysteries

Editors Note: The first couple of paragraphs of this post talk about a counter that I no longer have installed on the site. I’m keeping them up because some comments refer to it, and ultimately I want to keep almost everything I’ve written on this site to stay up as a sort-of historical marker to my thoughts.

Made a few changes to the site. Added a permanent link in the sidebar to a posting about the books I have read since coming to France. For the last several years I have meant to start keeping track of the books I read in a given year, but never do a good job of it. I believe this blog will help me do the trick. If I get real good I might actually review/rate them as I go along. If people seem to like it I just might add movies and music to the list as well.

My counter (which is now set to produce random numbers on the actual blog site, but give me real numbers by logging in) from bravenet.com has some sort of referral program with it. It says it is supposed to bring a lot of new hits to my site. It is pretty vague about how it does it and I’m thinking it  probably has to do with pop-up ads. Since my IP address is disallowed from the program I’m gonna need some help. If you are getting pop-ups when you go to my blog please let me know. If that is the method of getting more hits, I’d rather find a better way. Pop ups stink!

Anyway to get along with the subject of this blog. I have been trying to read some of the classics of the mystery genre. Or more literally the detective subgenre of the mystery genre. The three main writers I have been reading in this subgenre are Raymond Chandler, Dashiell Hammett, and Agatha Christie. All three are very good writers in their own right, but whom bring something different to the genre.

I first started reading Dashiell Hammett because I had heard more about him through the film The Maltese Falcon (1941 )and he was purportedly a big influence on the Coen Brothers. I have read all of his novels: The Maltese Falcon, Red Harvest, The Glass Key, The Dain Curse, and the The Thin Man. Each one is original and very different stylistically. It’s as if he intentionally wrote each novel as a different sub-sub genre. Red Harvest uses the unnamed Continental Op (who was the main character in many of his short stories as well as The Dain Curse) as a prototypical hard-boiled private-eye to tell his story. This character uses allegiances in two rival gangs to clean up a small city while trying not to go “blood simple” (excited to the point of amorality by excessive violence). The Coen Brothers were highly influenced by this book using blood simple as the title of their first movie, and many of it’s plot points in their gangster movie, Miller’s Crossing (1990). It also influenced other films such as Akira Kurasawa’s Yojimbo (1961), Sergio Leone’s A Fistful of Dollars (1964), and many more.

Hammett’s The Dain Curse again uses the Continental Op as his story teller but this time he is entwined in an episodic, melodramatic mystery. Its plot is as convoluted as it gets involving stolen jewels, drugs, a religious cult, and murder to name a few things. It’s also my least favorite of Hammett’s novels.

In The Maltese Falcon, Hammett turns things right again. Though everyone remembers Sam Spade as being portrayed by Humphrey Bogart in the 1941 John Huston picture. There were actually two other movies based on the novel (1931’s Dangerous Female and 1936’s Satan Met a Lady) that were lackluster at the box office. Bogarts portrayal of the hardboiled, but sensitive at heart private eye made him a star. That picture is pretty much spot on with the novel. Both are considered classics of the genre. The subgenre for Hammett here is the quest story with a wild assortment of characters. Sam Spade is our detective hero sorting through classic oddballs to find the mysterious, and very valuable bird of the title. For beginners into Hammett’s writings (or for detective stories in general) this is an excellent place to begin.

The Glass Key is a political drama without much of a detective in sight. Oh, it’s still dark and cynical as all get out, but it deals more with the corruption of city officials than any murder mystery. It also was a great influence on Miller’s Crossing and was made into a very good film noir of the same name in 1942.

The Thin Man is a more comic tale than any of his other work. Detectives are back this time in the guise of socialite Nick Charles and his wife Nora. Here Hammett plays up the high society couple as snoopers subgenre. When the Charles aren’t tossing back martinis and hob-nobbing with the rich they are solving murders. Hollywood came calling again with this one and created a whole series of Thin Man pictures starring William Powell and Myrna Loy.

***

Agatha Christie is probably the most well-known of the classic mystery writers. She wrote some 60 stories in her lifetime, most of which starred the eccentric, genius Belgian detective Hercule Poirot (Yes, I am now fully aware Christie wrote many books with other detectives including Miss Marple – Mat). I have only begun reading her novels having just finished Murder on the Orient Express and Death on the Nile. These novels are excellent representations of the “whodunit” version of the detective crime novel.

She masterly develops setting, imaginative characters and then deals in a murder or three. Clues are paced throughout in what has become a cliched manner. Though Christie has been imitated by umpteenth followers, nobody has topped her style. I typically do not enjoy mysteries because they follow a pattern Christie seems to have invented. The genre has gone stagnant with so many plots following the same pattern.

Odd-ball characters gather in a stylish setting. A murder is committed and then the reader is led down a path (often the wrong one) following a series of clues leading to the final scene where everyone is brought together and the mystery is explained. Christie follows this almost to a tea in both the Orient Express and Murder on the Nile. Yet, somehow she makes it all seem fresh. Her characters are inventive and thoroughly interesting. Hercule Poirot is the perfect detective. Smart, sensitive, and eccentric. And the following of clues is never too clever or too dull to drive me crazy. There are films based on both the books I’ve mentioned here as well as many of her other novels.

****

Raymond Chandler deserves a genre of his own. All of his novels feature the same main character, Phillip Marlowe. Marlowe is as hardboiled as they come. Dark, cynical, sarcastic, tough, and funny in a sick sort of way. There is almost always a murder (sometimes several), and plenty of drinking, smoking, and sometimes sex. Yet his stories are not so much about solving a crime as it is an insight into a certain time, in a certain place with certain characters. He dwells in the seedier, darker places of the American cities, and the human soul. His stories are never pretty, but often beautiful. I would hold up any of his novels high in the canon of literature.

My favorite novel of Chandler’s that I have read was also made into an excellent Humphrey Bogart picture, The Big Sleep. Other novels of his that I have read include The High Window, The Lady in the Lake, and Farewell, My Lovely. All of them are well excellent and an excellent introduction into the detective mystery genre.

“”Tall, aren’t you?” she said.
“I didn’t mean to be.”
Her eyes rounded. She was puzzled. She was thinking. I could see, even on that short acquaintance, that thinking was always going to be a bother to her.”
—The Big Sleep (Chapter 1)

“I’m an occasional drinker, the kind of guy who goes out for a beer and wakes up in Singapore with a full beard.”
–The King in Yellow

Anybody who can write dialogue like that is well worth a read in my book.

Christmas in Paris

amy and the eiffel tower

Paris

Day 1
Our train left just after 8 am on Thursday, December 23. We had to take an early train so that we could be in Paris to meet Elizabeth and Paco before they left for Spain. I have never ridden a train before. Trams and subways, sure, but I’ve never even set foot on a traveling train. It was much different than the flights I have taken. You can take any amount of luggage you want and there is no waiting to get on the train. I was proud of my wife, who packed a weeks worth of belongings into one suitcase and a backpack. Sure they were stuffed to the gills, but considering we usually take 4 bags for a weekend I thought we were doing quite well.

Our seats were next to the window and there were no other seats next to ours. We had a very small table between us as we faced each other. Still, there was virtually no leg room and my legs began to cramp after about half an hour. On a plane, I eliminate some of this pain by crossing my legs, but that little table kept me from doing this here. To pass the four-hour ride I read Bridget Jones’s Diary and played Super Mario World on my game boy. It seemed a very long ride.

We arrived in Paris right on time, a little after 12 noon. Elizabeth was there waiting for us. Two metro rides later and we were in Paco’s snug apartment. It was actually a nice little place. Decent-sized living quarters with a little table to the side to make a dining room. Pleasant kitchen and one bedroom. It has a little washroom, with a small shower and a separate toilet. The toilet was the one thing I could stand to improve. More like the traditional water closet you hear about, it was literally the smallest toilet I have ever been in. You actually had to stand to shut the door within an inch of your face then somehow maneuver yourself downwards to a sitting position without hitting your legs. You could not ask for a better location though, and I am eternally grateful for the place. It was located about six blocks from the Eiffel Tower and about the same distance from Les Invalides where Napoleon is entombed.

A little note about Elizabeth and Paco. Elizabeth is a friend from Strasbourg. She is working in the English department with Amy. She is from New York State and is working on her PhD at Penn State. However, she has lived off and on in France for some four years. We did not know her in the States at all. Paco is her long-term boyfriend. He is an engineer in Paris, though he is originally from Spain. They were kind enough to offer us their apartment while they were visiting Paco’s parents.

Day 2
Slept long and hard last night, waking at 10. Went out for an early lunch and then headed out to the Eiffel Tower. As I said earlier, the flat was not but a few blocks from the Tower, but walking in the streets I had not yet seen it because of the high surrounding buildings. About a block away I finally saw the top of it. My first impression was that it looked like an Oklahoma oil well. All steel and unimpressive. Once on the lawn where I could take a good look, I liked it more but was still not overwhelmed. We decided to take the stairs up since the line was shorter and it didn’t seem that high.

Whoops, it’s some 300-plus steps to the top. There are three “floors” to the tower. We stopped at the first one already exhausted from climbing. Even from this level, you can see most of Paris. All around this floor are panoramic photographs labeling and giving a brief history of all of the Parisian sights. From here we could see all of the places we would stop later in the week. It was an excellent place to begin our first day. From the second floor, the view is even more spectacular, and from the third, it is as if you are flying.

After the tower, we went home to rest. In the early evening, we decided to take a walk. We headed to Place de la Concorde and the Egyptian obelisk.

This is one of the coolest things I have ever seen. My American brain thinks of time in terms of hundreds, this thing is thousands of years old. It was absolutely astounding. Place de la Concorde is also the Place de la Revolution, holding in its center the guillotine that executed Louis XVI, Marie Antoinette, and some 2,000 others. I was so overwhelmed by the spectacular sight of the obelisk that I forgot this for a moment. It was quite a change of feeling to go from the spectacle of Egyptian mystery to sensing the death of thousands at your feet.

From the obelisk, you can see the Arc de Triomphe down one of the main streets. It didn’t look that far and so we proceeded to walk towards it. Looks were highly deceiving because it took a good hour to walk to it. Knowing very little Parisian history I had always believed the Arc to be some leftover from an Ancient Roman architect. To my surprise, I found that it was yet another monument from Napoleon to honor his army. It is much, much larger than I ever imagined it to be. There is a passageway underneath so that you can walk right up to it without having to cross the famous menagerie of Parisian roads that circle the monument. Inside the Arc are dedications to the soldiers of many wars and an eternal flame to the unknown soldiers.

From here we walked to a shopping district. We saw clothes designed by Versace, Gucci, and all those classy designers I’ll never be able to afford. In one window we came across a lady’s coat costing over 4,000 Euros. With the conversion rate that is some $5,500! We also walked passed Printemps and Gallerie Lafayette. These two stores have a tradition of trying to outdo each other with Christmas windows. Each window was more elaborate and odd. Baby dolls tied to strings flew back and forth across the window. Mannequins dressed in crazy black feathered costumes and so forth. A very interesting sight.

Day 3

Again a very hard and long sleep. All that walking made me get plenty of rest. It was Christmas day. Paco doesn’t have a TV, or an internet connection, and we couldn’t figure out how to work his radio. So in our downtime, we read. I brought Bridget Jones’s Diary, Murder on the Orient Express, and Nick Hornby’s 31 Songs with me and have at this point finished them. Paco has books in Spanish, French, and English so I began reading his English section. Amy made a very nice meal out of a full chicken, potatoes, and carrots. Due to the travel and our limited budget, we had already exchanged gifts before the trip with a promise to do a little shopping in Paris. It was a lazy day. In the evening we decided to walk out to Les Invalides and then out to the Louvre. They say Paris is the city of lights and it shows on Christmas at night. There are lights everywhere, the city just glows. This night is simply gorgeous. Clean crisp air.

Day 4

After some rest and reading we headed to Notre Dame around 11. We swung by the obelisk and cut through the park surrounding the Louvre. Notre Dame is smaller than I imagined. It is hard to imagine Quasimodo hanging from its rafters. They say after the Revolution it fell into great disrepair and it was Victor Hugo’s book that sparked interest in its upkeep.

It is truly a beautiful building. Great gothic art preaching, teaching, and flying buttresses swinging into infinity. After a quick walkthrough, we realized that we would like to know more about its history and decided to rent the audio guides after lunch. We stopped at one cafe and enjoyed its menu, but decided to continue down the road for something better. A block away we run into a similar restaurant with cheaper prices only to discover it is the same restaurant and the prices are cheaper because the food is cooked at the first building and walked down to the second. The food was cheap and very tasty, but the glasses of Cokes cost 5.50 Euros a piece! After lunch, we enjoyed the guided tour of Notre Dame. It was a thoroughly fascinating experience. I am continually astounded by the craftsmanship of men hundreds of years ago. So much of the design is meant to inspire the people into worship and teach the illiterate with simple picture stories. I can see how it would work. There was a small museum section housing various artifacts and what claimed to be a sliver of the actual cross. But I am more than suspect.

Day 5

Up at 8:30 hoping to make the Louvre by 10. Made it at 10:30. Full stream of people flowing through the doors, but nothing like there would be in the afternoon. As Amy once said, “Even those who don’t like art, go to the Louvre.” We first made our way through the underground where we viewed a section of the original castle that once stood where the museum now is. We slowly made our way through the Egyptian artifacts. Ancient stuff. Hieroglyphics, carved tombs, everything you think of when you think of Egypt, sans the Pyramids. We spent longer here than expected and after a couple of hours, I realized we wouldn’t make it to Musee d’Orsay as planned that afternoon. Around 1 we escaped Egypt and shuffled our way through Greece and into Italy. Here we are above ground and the rooms are especially ornate. Paintings on the ceiling, gold inlaid mirrors, sculptures throughout, and hung paintings everywhere. We decided to catch the Mona Lisa before lunch.

Mona Lisa: My thoughts about the Mona Lisa consumed me. I thought about the Mona Lisa the night before. Thinking of her as I slipped into sleep and she was my first thought when I awoke. I have seen many pictures of the Mona Lisa. Hung on walls, on t-shirts, on postcards, commercials it seems her image is everywhere. The thing is, I have never found the image particularly amazing. There are certainly many more artistic works that I find more moving and even find other DaVinci works more lavish. What is it about that one painting that consumes me (and millions of others)? Through Egypt, Greece, and Italy my underlying thought was that with each step I drew close to the Mona Lisa. As we drew near crowds of people formed a moving line. Signs pointed in the direction of the Mona Lisa. No video, no flash, no cameras whatsoever. We arrive at the Mona Lisa room and follow the group where ushers are shouting at those disobeying the signs and pulling out cameras, then shouting again for them to move on. Finally, we are there before her. It’s kinetic. Like lighting flashing. The museum is luring everyone into her arms, yet immediately rushes them out. Ah, the Mona Lisa.

I think she smiled at me.

We lunch at an overpriced deli and continue our trip through the Louvre. There is so much to see it is impossible to take it all in. We stumble across the Winged Victory of Samothrace on our way toward Psyche and Cupid. After getting lost a dozen times we find the winged angel wrestling Psyche. Here I discover that the Code of Hammurabi is not far away. We walk the few rooms to Mesopotamia and are awed by the earliest code of laws still intact. Our last stop is the Venus de Milo before we realize we are too exhausted to go any farther. And thus ended our trip to the Louvre, without even visiting the 2nd floor.

Day 6

We started out for Musee d’Orsay, but the day was too gorgeous to be stuck inside (and the lines were really long). Instead, we took the metro to Sacre Coeur. It is a stunning church built on a hill that makes it viewable from just about anywhere in Paris. There are large white steps leading up to the church proper and it was on these that we realized that parts of Amelie were shot here. It’s the scene where Amelie draws chalk arrows on various steps leading Nino on a goose chase to find his lost book.

The church looks a bit like a Muslim mosque to my untrained eyes. Definitely different than any church I have ever seen. From the top, you get a lovely view of the city. The day was so beautiful we spend a good while just standing on those steps basking in the sun with all the other tourists. I dare say the inside of Sacre Couer is more beautiful than Notre Dame, though it has far less presence than that church. Upon entering there was a large guard telling us to put up our cameras. However, I noticed about 15 steps past him everyone was taking their cameras back out and openly taking pictures as they pleased. So, I was able to get some very nice shots.

We bought sandwiches for lunch and ate outside at a spot overlooking the city. Montmartre is a rather artistic community within Paris and we were overrun by faux DaVinci’s trying to paint our picture. They were extremely aggressive. Four or five people sticking a canvas our faces begging us to be painted or more likely caricatured. There was a little square where fewer pandering artists were painting various models sitting on little stools.

After lunch, we went looking for the Moulin Rouge. Apparently, besides being the name of a quirky film, it is also the dancehall where the can-can was invented. It is also in a very seedy part of town. For several blocks, there were peep show booths, lingerie shops, and sellers of sex of every kind in every store. We had some pastries at the Quick (similar to Mcdonald’s) next to the Moulin Rouge and headed toward the Montmartre cemetery.

Parisian cemeteries are different than anything I have ever seen. In the cemetery I have seen in Strasbourg the tombstones are generally larger and more ornate than the ones we have in the States, but pale in comparison to the Parisian ones. Here they have huge sarcophagi jutting out everywhere. Usually, they are like small homes where visitors can actually enter in and light a candle and say a prayer for the dead. Many were familial tombs with several members of the family buried beneath. Upon entering the cemetery we were greeted with a sign directing us to the artists/filmmakers/composer, er famous people buried there. We paid our respects to:

Alexandre Dumas
DeGas
Francois Truffaut

The latter one took me by surprise. I have rather enjoyed all of the films of Francois Truffaut I have seen and thoroughly enjoyed his acting performance in Close Encounters of the Third Kind. He always seems very young to me, and though I knew he died years ago, seeing his tomb seemed very sad.

From there we walked to an English books store where we finished our Christmas shopping (Death on the Nile, and Playback for me.) Then we headed towards the Louvre again and stopped nearby at the Palais Royale. The gardens here are where the French Revolution essentially started. A few impassioned speeches stirred the crowds enough to storm the Bastille and murder a few thousand. We walked home singing
“You say you want a revolution?
Well, you know.
We all want to change the world”

Day 7

Went to Les Invalides in the morning. The main building with the golden dome holds Napoleon’s remains. It is a beautiful, ornate building. There are several other important military men housed there as well, but Napoleon is who everyone comes to see. Apparently, he was originally buried elsewhere, and a few years after the fact they dug him up and moved him near the Seine River as he wished.

He is now entombed in five different caskets all of which are laid snug in this giant wooden monument. The tomb itself is on a subfloor that opens up to the main floor so it can be viewed. The dome is also directly above his tomb which creates this spectacular movement directed straight towards Napoleon. I suppose it would have pleased the emperor very much were he alive. I couldn’t help thinking that even with all that grandeur, his bones are still rotting underneath it all.

Next to Napoleon is a museum for various French wars. It concentrates mainly on General DeGaul and World War II. There are some highly moving videos of the Nazis marching under the Arc de Triomphe and the Allies joyous homecoming a few years later beneath that very Arc. There is a room dedicated to the concentration camps which were appropriately heartbreaking.

The rest of the day was spent walking the streets of Paris visiting lesser-known monuments and churches. We visited St. Germain des Pres which holds Paris’s oldest bell tower, the observatory, and the cafe where Ernest Hemingway wrote The Sun Also Rises.

Day 8

We spent the entire day in Musee d’Orsay. This museum was built in an old train station which gives it a very interesting look.
It also houses art from just before the Impressionist era and just after it. We saw some of the world’s most famous and my own personal favorite paintings. There were paintings by Van Gogh, Monet, Manet, Renoir, Degas, and others. It is very peculiar to look at the original work of paintings I have on my walls and have seen copies of all over the place. It was interesting to see many of the tourists taking pictures of these paintings. I saw many a man rest his camera on his mate’s head or shoulder to balance the camera while he zoomed in for the best shot. Rather than try to photograph something I could buy a better copy of in the mall I decided to try to take interesting pictures of people looking at and photographing the famous paintings.

Day 9

We went back to the Eiffel Tower to get some pictures from the other side. There is a very nice elevated place to stand and take pictures from the far side of the Tower. We then took a metro to the cemetery Pere Lachaise. This cemetery is much larger than the one in Montmartre and houses many more of France’s artists, though the most visited tomb is that of Jim Morrison. We visited the tombs of:

Chopin
Balzac
Delacroix
Oscar Wilde
Jim Morrison

I got lost looking for Moliere’s tomb and we ran out of time to look for any others. It is very peculiar wandering a graveyard looking for famous tombs. There was literally a crowd at Jim Morrisons’ grave. Cemetary as a tourist trap. There were maps at various points of entry throughout the cemetery, but I easily got lost. I found that you would generally wind up at a grave of interest, so to speak, if you stopped at a grave with a lot of flowers or if there were several people gathered around. Unfortunately, I tromped along to one section with numerous people gathered around it only to realize it was for someone recently deceased and the people were real mourners. Brought it back into perspective for me.

For the evening’s festivities (for it was New Year’s Eve) we decided to go back to the Eiffel Tower. It was absolute madness. We entered from the back of the garden walkway and could only begin to see the chaos that was about to happen. As we got closer we could hear the shouting, laughing, chanting, and general noise from the crowd of thousands. Just before the crowd became a mass a large group of hawkers (the annoying sellers of junk you run into at all the landmarks) suddenly began running away from the crowd.

This was no normal let’s get out of here run, but a fierce we’re scared for our lives bolt. Amy and I both stopped cold wondering what the heck is about to happen. Seeing that the rest of the masses were holding to their partying we decided they had either stolen a purse or been run off by the cops. We stopped directly under the Tower which was the center of the madness. On the far side of the tower where we had walked earlier in the day, we could see the dark wave of an enormous crowd jockeying for position. All around us though were people waiting for the strike of 12. Alcohol flowed, and cries of joy and anger pummelled out from all around us. And as if the official fireworks going off above our heads were not unnerving enough many of the masses brought their own. Firecrackers were exploding all around our feet, and bottle rockets and Roman candles were ejecting about our heads. After an hour or so we decided we were not prepared for the absolute madness that would be midnight and headed back to our home just after 11. We could hear the partying until well after 3 am.

Last Day

Our train left at 4 and we slept in so there wasn’t any time to do any sightseeing. We cleaned up Paco’s place and went out for lunch. The train ride back was just as miserable as it was coming down. This time Amy and I sat next to each other with two strangers facing us. As the stops led us to Strasbourg it seemed nearly every other seat was emptying except for ours. We sat the entire four and a half hours trying not to bump into each other. Unluckily for the guy in front of me, I was not particularly successful at that endeavor. I kicked and kneed him several times.

5 complete novels read. 2 halves of novels read. 8 monuments were viewed. Miles after miles walked. 10 days. All in all, it was a fabulous week in Paris.

Thanks for reading.

Joyeux Noel

Amy and I are leaving for Paris Thursday morning. We have a rather busy Wednesday so I suspect I will not have time for writing. I don’t believe I will have internet access in Paris so I will not be writing again until around January 2.

All of this is to say I wish all my readers a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. Hug your mom, kiss your dog and please, be careful people!

A Short Post

Originally posted on December 20, 2004.

This will be short. I have spent most of the day quite ill and I don’t expect I have the strength or mental capacity to write a whole lot at this point. My blog pal Foolish Knight has asked everyone for their top ten songs of all time. I posted mine in his comments which you can read here although it is not the final version. I have a very hard time with the term “favorite.” Mainly because it makes me try to say one thing is better than the other. If I say Star Wars is my favorite movie then it means I think To Kill a Mockingbird is not as good as Star Wars. When this is not at all true. Choosing ten songs was amazingly difficult. There are a whole lot of other songs that I enjoy just as much as those ten. Then there are a million more that I enjoy at certain moments to make me happy or sad or whatever…All this is to say I hope to make a new list on this site going over a whole bunch of my favorite songs/artists.

Being sick I slacked off even more on my movie watching. I still haven’t finished The Abyss and didn’t get started on this week’s movie: About Schmidt. And now there is Christmas to contend with. Maybe I’ll get back on track in the New Year.

The Poseidon Adventure (1972)

the poseidon adventure

This was written way back in 2004. It was one of the first movie reviews I ever wrote.  I wrote in an earlier post that some of my old reviews were embarrassing to read now.  This is what I was talking about. But as I also said I’ll be posting these warts and all and I’ve got to stand by them.  But please, be kind.  Mat in 2022.

As a child, I mostly watched whatever kid-friendly movie was showing at the local cineplex. We got our first Betamax when I was maybe 12 or so and we’d rent all kinds of movies.  Some of them were genuine classics like To Kill a Mockingbird which instilled in me a sense that beauty and art can be found in a film. Others were like The Poseidon Adventure which while not particularly masterful films still showed me that there were many other films out there than what I was used to watching.  These films eventually opened up to me the world of cinema.

I first saw the Poseidon Adventure at Grandma and Papa’s house. I had been dropped off by my mother for an afternoon while she went shopping or some other mundane task. After flipping channels for a while I came across this great sinking ship and fell mystified into a grand epic adventure. To this day I recall my mother coming home during the final 20 minutes or so and me making her stay because I just had to see the ending. She had seen the film, but praised it as a classic adventure and allowed me to see the end. Periodically I have caught bits and pieces of the movie again on cable and always pause to watch a scene or two. I bought it in a bargain bin a few months back and joyfully added it to my collection. Last night Amy and I decided to watch it.

Watching it on DVD I realize this was the first time I have ever actually seen the very beginning of the movie. As a child, I caught the picture 10-20 minutes into it, and all subsequent viewings have all been by catching it part way through on television. I am afraid the movie as a whole doesn’t hold up all that well to my childhood memory. Oh, it’s a big, grand adventure, but like the ship of the movie, it starts to sink under its own enormousness.

It has a basic 70’s disaster movie plot. The big ocean cruise liner is hit by an enormous wave and is turned upside down, killing nearly everyone. A few survivors are followed as they make their way up (or rather down) the ship to it’s hull, and try to escape. It is way over the top and it almost seems as if the director Ronald Neame told his actors to ham it up in every scene. Gene Hackman and Ernest Borgnine just howl at each other for much of the film’s runtime.

The script follows very basic rules. It rolls like something you would see in a basic screenwriter’s class. You start with an establishing shot and follow it with a basic introduction of your main characters while making sure their essential character motivation is directly handed to the audience in their first few minutes of screen time. Then you set your plot into action. Its disaster is even set into action by a classic evil corporate leader. Leslie Nielson plays the good captain who is hounded by a goon sent from the ship’s corporate owner to ensure it ports for its final time on the right date. The corporate goon orders Nielson’s captain to increase speed though Nielson argues this will surely cause the old ship to sink. The corporate goon, of course, wins and sets up the disaster. On a side note, it is unintentionally funny to watch Nielson in a serious role when everyone knows his slew of later, goofier roles in movies such as the Naked Gun and Airplane.

This film acts like it invented implausibly. Gene Hackman’s preacher moves acts, and orders others around like he’s the ship’s captain though he has no previous knowledge of how the ship’s design, or conceivably the physics of a cruise liner. Yet his motivation for acting like this was set up earlier. Before the ship sinks we get a sermon from this unorthodox preacher who believes in helping oneself instead of relying on Divine intervention. Likewise, all the other characters follow along in their previously established types, never budging from this set character mold and certainly not evolving in any meaningful way.

All of this is not to say the film isn’t enjoyable. It is not high art after all. It knows full well its purpose is to entertain the audience and nothing more. It does this quite well. Though its plot is strained it moves along at a quick pace and maintains a claustrophobic tension throughout. I have not seen many of the other disaster movies of the era so I cannot place the Poseidon Adventure accordingly among their ranks. But as an action/adventure flick, you could do worse.

One More Friday Night

Wow! It’s been a few days since I last wrote. I keep promising myself to write everyday and I keep not doing it. I can’t say that I have been busy, but I guess I have been busy enough to keep me away.

I still have not managed to watch all of The Abyss for my review. I guess I have been slightly busy. Hmmm, what have I been doing since Tuesday? Wednesday is Amy’s day off so we piddled around, I had French class, went to church, and planned our Casablanca trip. We spend most of the afternoon, on Thursday, at Elizabeth’s. There we had lunch and made tons of cookies. Well, I should say Elizabeth and Amy made tons of cookies while I sat on the couch, read, and ate the cookies.

Daniel and Laura joined us a little later and we all sat around eating cookies. They were all going to the departmental Christmas party that night while Amy and I went to see Casablanca. It was very disenchanting because weeks ago Amy got an e-mail inviting a few folks to go to dinner at this nice restaurant. The invite said nothing about it being a Christmas, or year-end party at all. It sounded more like Amy’s boss had found a cool restaurant that had excellent tarte flambees and wanted an excuse to go than a departmental party. So Amy and I decided that we really couldn’t afford to pay the estimated 50 Euros to have tarte flambee. That night we realize it is in fact a Christmas party and everyone is going! Typical French to make a vague invitation and expect everyone to know it is a Christmas party even if there is no way we could know that.

Interestingly enough on our way from Elizabeths, we ran into Amy’s boss. He was quite disappointed in us not going to the party, but we did our best to explain our misunderstanding. No kidding ten minutes later in the exact same spot we ran into our friend Nadia. No, we weren’t standing in the same spot waiting. We had actually gone to the house, grabbed a sandwich, and headed out to see Casablanca. Totally weird to run into someone else in the same spot not but a few minutes later. We often run into people we know on the streets of Strasbourg. It’s got a half million people in it, of which we know maybe 20, but at least once a week we bump into a familiar face. Ah, France!

Casablanca was, of course, wonderful. I will wait to review it until I watch it again on DVD. This viewing was pure joy and I didn’t bother myself with an objective view. Unlike Touch of Evil, Casablanca was playing in the big theatre instead of the crappy basement theatre. It is one of those old gorgeous theatres. It has big red curtains, a real balcony, and fairly ornate architecture. The print of the film was pretty bad. There were lots of crackles in the soundtrack, lots of smudges in the picture and several moments jumped forward a second or two, missing some classic lines of dialogue.

We went with Jason, Ivica, Pamela, and Jill all of who had never seen it before. It’s such a pleasure to me to watch classic films that I love with people who have never seen it. During the scene where Rick and Ilsa are seemingly getting back together, I could hear Pamela making a ruckus. At first, I thought she was making fun of the movie and not liking it. Then I realized she was enjoying the film and was upset that Ilsa was with Rick while still married.

I wanted to whisper to her that it works out in the end but she was too far away. After the movie, she was beaming with joy over the fact that they did the right thing. I have talked to a few “younger” people about Casablanca before and found they didn’t like the ending because it wasn’t the traditional happy ending. It was quite unique to find Pamela thrilled for the same reason. All in all, everyone seemed to love the movie. Ivica struggled with some of the dialogue because English is not his first language and because of the poor quality of the print. Although he did tell me that ‘that Rick is a pretty cool guy.” I had to agree.

Books I’ve Read Since 2005

Editors Note, June 2023: I clearly haven’t updated this list in quite some time.  I’m also obviously not nearly the reader that I am the movie watcher, but it is what it is.

To see more updated info on my reading habits you can check out my Goodreads page.

This started as a list of books that I have read since I came to France in September 2004. Eventually, I started rating them and writing mini-reviews, which in turn became long reviews. I know the format of this page stinks, in time I’ll work something better out. Until then scroll down for the reviews.

*update Nov 2015*  When I moved away from this blog to a non-free web hoster I maintained a list of books I’ve read.  When I came back to this free WordPress site I lost that list. Or rather I kept the actual list but lost the webpage.  I’m taking on that old list to this really old one so the formatting will change abruptly somewhere down at the end.

May 2020

This One Summer – ****

March 2020

Alters, Vol. 1 – ***

January 2020

Killers of the Flower Moon – *****
Bunnicula Meets Edgar Allan Crowe – ***
The Institute – ****
Hulk (1999) First Five Issues, Hulk in Small Town – ***

Number of books read in 2020: 6
November 2019

Road Dogs – ****
Black Hole – ****1/2
Countdown City – ***1/2

October 2019

Garcia: An American Life – ****

September 2019

The Pulse, Vol. 3: Fear – ****
The Pulse, Vol. 2: Secret War – ***
The Pulse, Vol. 1: Thin Air – ****
The Name is Archer – ***
Stiff Upper Lip, Jeeves – ***

July 2019

Alias, Vol. 4, The Secret Origins of Jessica Jones – ****
Alias, Vol. 3, The Underneath – ****
Alias, Vol. 2, Come Home – ****
Alias, Vol. 1 – ****
James and the Giant Peach (Audiobook) – ****
Infinity Guantlet Omnibus – ****

June 2019

X-Men: Mutant Massacre – ***
Through the Looking Glass – ***

April 2019

Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland (Audiobook) – ****

March 2019

The Last Policeman – ****

February 2019

Howliday Inn – ***
Solaris – ****
Bunnicula – ****
Ghost in the Shell by Andrew Osmond – ***1/2

Books read in 2019: 23

December 2018

Paper Girls, Vol 5 – ***1/2
Avengers Defenders War – ***1/2

November 2018

Backlash Vol. 1: The Drahn War – ***
X-Men: X-Termination Saga – ***
The Spiderwick Chronicles: The Wrath of Mulgarath – ***
The Spiderwick Chronicles: The Ironwood Tree – ****
The Spiderwick Chronicles: Lucinda’s Secret – ***1/2

October 2018

The Spiderwick Chronicles: The Seeing Stone – ****
The Spiderwick Chronicles: The Field Guide – ****
Batman RIP – ***1/2
Grunt: The Curious Science of Humans at War – ****
Freedomland

August 2018

X-Men: The End of History – ***
X-Men: Dark Phoenix Saga – ****1/2
Roller Girl – ****

July 2018

Paper Girls Vol. 4 – ****
Bandette Volume 2: Stealers Keepers! – ****
Bandette Volume 1: Presto! – ****
Conversations with Scorsese – ****1/2

May 2018

Batman: The Last Arkham – ***1/2
All-New Ghost Rider, Vol. 1: Engines of Vengeance – **
I Kill Giants – *****

April 2018

The Big Sleep – ****1/2
Prince Caspian – ***
All Star Superman, Vol 1 – ***
Thinner – ***1/2
Pet Sematary – ****
Amazing X-Men, Volume 3: Once and Future Juggernaut – ***
X-Men: World War Wendigo – **1/2

March 2018

Catwoman: When In Rome – ****
X-Men: The Quest For Nightcrawler – ****
X-23: The Killing Dream – **
X-23: Target – ***
End of Watch – **
American Gods – ****

February 2018
X-23: Innocence Lost – ****
Blood on Snow – ****
Artemis – ***
Batgirl, Vol. 1: The Darkest Reflection – ****
Finders Keepers (Audio Book) – ***

January 2018
Mr. Mercedes (Audio book) – ***1/2
A Treasury of Victorian Murder – *1/2
Batman: Dark Victory – ****
Daredevil: A Man Without Fear, Book 1 (Ed Brubaker) – ****

Number of books read in 2018: 44

December 2017

Avengers: Age of Ultron – ***1/2

November 2017

Pop. 1280 – ***1/2
40 Coffins – ***1/2
Fables: Animal Farm – ***
Fables: Legends in Exile – ***1/2
365 Samurai and a Few Bowls of Rice – ****
Chew, Volume 3: Just Desserts – ***1/2
The Coldest City – ***

October 2017

Chew, Vol 2: International Flavor – ****
The Secret History of Wonder Woman – ****
The Handmaid’s Tale – *****
Outland: The Complete Library – ***1/2

September 2017

Lost at Sea – ***1/2
Chew, Vol 1: Tasters Choice – ****
American Vampire, Anthology 2 – **
All New Hawkeye, Vol. 5 – ***

August 2017

Paper Girls, Vol. 3: ****
The Boys, Volume 2: Get Some – ***
The Boys, Volume 1: The Name of the Game – ***
Avengers Disassembled: Thor – ***

July 2017

Batman, Vol. 2: City of Owls – ***
Batman, Vol. 1: Court of Owls – ***

June 2017

Catwoman, Volume 6: Final Jeopardy
Girls: Extinction – ****
Girls: Survival – ****
Girls: Emergence – ***
Girls: Conception – ***
FANTASTIC FOUR VISIONARIES – GEORGE PEREZ – VOLUME 1- **1/2

May 2017

Bloom County – Volume 5 (1987-1989) – ****
Batman: False Faces – ***1/2
Batman: Dead to Rights – ***
Aliens: Sacrifice – ***
All New Wolverine, Vol., 2 Civil War II – ****
All New Wolverine, Vol. 1 The Four Sisters – ****

April 2017

A Horse and His Boy – ***
World War Hulk by Greg Pak – ****
X-Men: Days of Future Past by Chris Claremont – ***1/2
X-men: God Loves, Man Kills by Chris Claremont – ****

March 2017
Planet Hulk by Greg Pak – ****
Batman: The Dark Knight Strikes Again by Frank Miller – *
Snotgirl Vol, 1 by Bryan Lee O’Malley – ***

February 2017

Batman Hush, Vol. 2 by Jeph Loeb – ****
Girl on the Train – ***

January 2017
X-Men From the Ashes by Chris Claremont – ****
The Immortal Iron Fist – The Origin of Danny Rand by Matt Fraction – **
Captain American: The Chosen by David Morrell – *
Batman: Hush, Vol. 1 by Jeph Loeb – ****

Total Books read in 2017: 45

December 2016

Hellsing, Vol. 4 by Kohta Hirano and Duane Johnson – ***
Elektra Assasin by Frank Miller – ***
Harbour by ‘John Ajvide Lindqvist – ****
The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe by CS Lewis – ***
Hellsing, Vol. 3 by Kohta Hirano and Duane Johnson – ***
Hellsing, Vol. 2 by Kohta Hirano and Duane Johnson – ***
Hellsing, Vol. 1 by Kohta Hirano and Duane Johnson – ***

November 2016

Giant Days by John Allison – ***1/2
Giant Days by John Allison – ***
Sin City: A Dame to Kill For by Frank Miller – ***
Incognito, Volume 2: Bad Influences – ****
Incognigo by Ed Brubaker – ***1/2
Fatale, Vol. 5: Curse the Demon by Ed Brubaker – ****
Fatale, Vol. 4: Pray For Rain by Ed Brubaker – ***1/2
Fatale, Vol. 3: West of Hell by Ed Brubaker – ***1/2

October 2016

Gotham Central: Book Four – Corrigun by Greg Rucka, Ed Brubaker – ****
Fatale, Vol. 4: Pray For Rain by Ed Brubaker – ***1/2
Fatale, Vol. 3: West of Hell by Ed Brubaker – ***1/2
Fatale, Vol. 2: The Devil’s Business by Ed Brubaker – ***1/2
Fatale, Vol. 1: Death Chases Me by Ed Brubaker – ***
The Flash Rebirth by Geoff Johns – **
V for Vendetta by Alan Moore – ****
Ex Machina Vol. 10: Term Limits by Brian K. Vaughan – ****
Ex Machina vol. 9: Ring Out the Old by Brian K. Vaughan – ***
Ex Machina Vol. 8: Dirty Tricks by Brian K. Vaughan – ***
Very Good, Jeeves by PG Wodehouse – ***1/2
Ex Machina Vol. 7: Ex Cathedra by Brian K. Vaughan – ***
Ex Machina Vol. 6: Power Down by Brian K. Vaughan – ***1/2
Ex Machina Vol. 5: Smoke Smoke by Brian K. Vaughan – ***1/2

September 2016

Sex Criminals, Vol. 1: One Weird Trick by Matt Fraction – ***1/2
Ex Machina Vol. 4: March to War by Brian K. Vaughan – ***1/2
Ex Machina Vol. 3: Fact V. Fiction by Brian K. Vaughan – ***1/2
Ex Machina Vol. 2: Tag by Brian K. Vaughan – ***1/2
The Magician’s Nephew by CS Lewis – ***
Ex Machina Vol. 1: The First Hundred Days by Brian K. Vaughan – ***1/2
Kingdom Come by Mark Waid and Alex Ross – ***
The Whites by Richard Price – ****
1963 by Alan Moore – ***

August 2016

Saga, Volume 6 by Brian K. Vaughan – ***1/2
Saga, Volume 5 by Brian K. Vaughan – ***1/2
Saga, Volume 4 by Brian K. Vaughan – ***1/2
Saga, Volume 3 by Brian K. Vaughan – ***1/2
Astro City: Beautie – Her Dark Plastic Roots – ***
Marvel’s Civil War by Mark Miller – ***
Gotham Central, Book Three: On the Freak Beat by Greg Rucka, Ed Brubaker – ****
Daredevil: Born Again by Frank Miller – ***1/2
Daredevil: Love and War by Frank Miller – ***
Daredevil: Yellow by Jeff Loeb- ***1/2

July 2016
Conversations with Woody Allen by Eric Lax – ****

April 2016

Carsick by John Waters – **1/2
Superman: Red Son by Mark Millar – ****
Teen Titans #1 by Scott Lobdell – ***

March 2016

The Road to Civil War (Marvel Comics) – 8881/2
Ms. Marvel by G. Willow Wilson – ***
The Martian by Andy Weir (Audiobook) – ***1/2
Blood Meridian by Cormac McCarthy – ****
Saga, Volume 2 by Brian K. Vaughan – ***1/2

February 2016

Sandman, Vol 5: A Game of You
The Long Halloween by Jeph Loeb – ****
The Big Knockover by Dashiell Hammett – ****

January 2016

Ex Machina, Vol. 1: The First Hundred Days by Brian K Vaughan – ****
Playback (Graphic Novel) by Raymond Chandler – *
The Sandman, Vol 4: Season of Mists by Neil Gaiman – ****

Books read in 2016: 63

December 2015

Scorsese on Scorsese edited by Ian Christie – *****
The Walking Dead Volume 16: A Larger World by Robert Kirkman – ***
The Walking Dead Volume 15:We Find Ourselves by Robert Kirkman- ***
The Walking Dead Volume 14: No Way Out by Robert Kirkman – ***
The Walking Dead Volume 13: Too Far Gone by Robert Kirkman – ***
The Walking Dead Volume 12: Life Among Them by Robert Kirkman – ***
The Walking Dead Volume 11:Fear the Hunters by Robert Kirkman – ***
The Walking Dead Volume 10: What We Become by Robert Kirkman – ***
The Walking Dead Volume 9: Here We Remain by Robert Kirkman – ***
Daredevil: The Man Without Fear by Frank Miller – ****
Batman: The Killing Joke by Alan Moore – ****1/2
Raylan by Elmore Leonard – ***

November 2015

Gotham Central: Book One – In the Line of Duty by Ed Brbaker & Greg Rucka – ***1/2
Astonishing X-Men: Gifted  by Joss Whedon – ***1/2
Astonishing X-Men: Dangerous by Joss Whedon – ***
Astonishing X-Men: Torn by Joss Whedon – ***
Bloom County: The Complete Library, Volume Four: 1986-1987 by Berkeley Breathed – ****

October 2015

Hitchcock/Truffaut by Francois Truffaut – *****

August 2015

Old Boy, Vol 6 by Garon Tsuchiya and Nobuaki Minegishi – ****
Old Boy, Vol 5 by Garon Tsuchiya and Nobuaki Minegishi – ****
Old Boy, Vol 4 by Garon Tsuchiya and Nobuaki Minegishi – ****
Old Boy, Vol 3 by Garon Tsuchiya and Nobuaki Minegishi – ****
Old Boy, Vol 2 by Garon Tsuchiya and Nobuaki Minegishi – ****
Old Boy, Vol 1 by Garon Tsuchiya and Nobuaki Minegishi – ****

June 2015

The Ocean at the End of the Lane by Neil Gaiman (audiobook) – ***1/2

May 2015

Shopgirl by Steve Martin – ****
Oldboy, Vol 4 by Garon Tsuchiya & Nobuaki Minegishi – ***1/2
Back to Blood by Tom Wolfe – **

April 2015

As You Wish by Cary Elwes – ****

May 2015

Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me by Mindy Kaling – ***

January 2015

Seconds by Bryan Lee O’Malley – ****1/2

Number of books read in 2015: 31

December 2014

One Summer – America, 1927 by Bill Bryson – ****
The Walking Dead: Volume 9: Here We Remain by Robert Kirkman – ***

October 2014

On Writing by Stephen King – ****
Owsley and Me by Rhoney Gissen Stanley – ***
Farewell My Lovely by Raymond Chandler (audiobook) – ****

September 2014

The Big Sleep by Raymond Chandler (audiobook) – ****1/2
Night of the Living Deadpool by Cullen Bunn & Ramon Rosanas – ***1/2
Preacher: Alamo by Garth Innis and Steve Dillon – ***
Preacher: All Hells A-Coming by Garth Innis and Steve Dillon – ****
Preacher: Salvation by Garth Innis and Steve Dillon – ****
Preacher: War in the Sun by Garth Innis and Steve Dillon – ****

August 2014

All I Did Was Ask by Terry Gross – ****
Jeeves and the Tie that Binds by P.G. Wodehouse – ***1/2

May 2014

Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn – ***
Iron Man: Extremis by Warren Ellis – ****

April 2014

Elephant Juice by Jeremy McGill
Wonderstruck by Brian Selznick – ***
Scorsese by Ebert by Roger Ebert – ****1/2

February 2014

‘Salems Lot by Stephen King – ***1/2

January 2014

The Walking Dead, Vol. 8: Made to Suffer by Robert Kirkman – ****
The Walking Dead, Vol. 7: The Calm Before by Robert Kirkman – ****
The Walking Dead, Vol. 6: This Sorrowful Life by Robert Kirkman – ****
The Walking Dead, Vol. 5: The Best Defense by Robert Kirkman – ****
The Walking Dead, Vol. 4: The Heart’s Desire by Robert Kirkman – ****
The Walking Dead, Vol 3 – Safety Behind Bars by Robert Kirkman – ***
The Walking Dead, Vol 2 – Miles Behind Us by Robert Kirkman – ***
X-Men: Supernovas by Mike Carey – **
Preacher – Dixie Fried by Garth Innis – ***1/2

Total Books Read in 2014: 28

November 2013

Mysteries of Pittsburg by Michael Chabon – ***1/2
Lush Life by Richard Price – ****
X-Men – Inferno by Chris Claremont – **1/2
The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams – ***1/2
Rest in Pieces: The Curious Fates of Famous Corpses by Bess Lovejoy – ***

August 2013

Bossypants by Tina Fey – ***
Enormously Foxtrot by Bill Amend – **1/2

July 2013

Scot Pilgrim’s Finest Hour – by Bryan Lee O’Malley – ****
Scott Pilgrim Vs the Universe – by Bryan Lee O’Malley – ****
Scott Pilgrim Gets it Together by Bryan Lee O’Malley – ****
Scott Pilgrim and the Infinite Sadness by Bryan Lee O’Malley – ****
Scott Pilgrim Vs the World by Bryan Lee O’Malley – ****
Scott Pilgrim’s Precious Little Life by Bryan Lee O’Malley – ****
A Dance with Dragons by George RR Martin – ***1/2
Lady Snowblood, Vol. 1: The Deep-Seated Grudge Part 1 by Kazuo Koike & Kazuo Kamimura – ***1/2
Jerry Gallwell v Larry Flynt by Rodney A Smolla – ***1/2

June 2013

Wolverine by Chris Clemont and Frank Miller – ****
X-Men: The Dark Phoenix Saga by Chris Claremont – ****
Journey to Cubeville by Scott Adams – **1/2
Oldboy Vol 5 by Garon Tsuchiya and Nobauaki Minegishi – ****

May 2013

Ambrose Bierce and the Queen of Spades by Oakley Hall – ***
Bloom County: The Complete Library Volume Two: 1982-1984 by Berke Breathed – ****
Sandman Vol. 3: Dream Country by Neil Gaiman – ***1/2
A Moveable Feast by Ernest Hemingway – *****

April 2013

Catch Me if You Can by Frank W. Abagnale – ***
Sandman Vol. 2: The Doll’s House by Neil Gaiman – ****
Zits: Growth Spurt by Jerry Scott and Jim Borgman – ***
Big Honkin’ Zits by Jerry Scott and Jim Borgman – ***1/2

March 2013

DMZ Vol. I, Body on the Ground by Brian Wood, Riccardo Burchielli – ***1/2

February 2013

Preacher: Proud Americans – ****
Preacher: Until the End of the World by Garth Ennis, Steve Dillon – ****
Preacher: Gone to Texas by Garth Ennis, Steve Dillon – ****

January 2013

The Killer Inside Me by Jim Thompson – ***

Total books read in 2013: 32

December 2012

Ghost World by Daniel Clowes – ****
The Sandman #1: Preludes and Nocturnes by Neil Gaiman – ****

November 2012

The Grifters by Jim Thompson – ****1/2
Big Trouble by Dave Berry – ***

October 2012

Maus II by Art Spiegelman – *****
The Mermaids Singing by Val McDermid – ***
Ichi the Killer, Tome X by Hidéo Yamamoto – ***
Ichi the Killer, Tome IX by Hidéo Yamamoto – ***
Ichi the Killer, Tome VIII by Hidéo Yamamoto – ***
Ichi the Killer, Tome VII by Hidéo Yamamoto – ***
Ichi the Killer, Tome VI by Hidéo Yamamoto – ***
Ichi the Killer, Tome V by Hidéo Yamamoto – ***
Ichi the Killer, Tome IV by Hidéo Yamamoto – ***
Eat the Rich: A Treatise on Economics by PJ O’Rourke – ***
A Feast For Crows by George RR Martin – ***

August 2012

Maus I by Art Spiegelman – *****
Lady Chatterley’s Lover by DH Lawrence – ***
Living Dead in Dallas by Charlaine Harris – **

July 2012

Old Boy Vol 4 by Garon Tsuchiya, Nobuaki Minegishi – ****

June 2012

7 Billion Needles by Nobuaki Tadano – **
Chew vol 4 by John Layman, Rob Guillory – ***

May 2012

The Glass Key by Dashielle Hammett – ****
Traffic by Tom Vanderbilt – ***1/2
Packing for Mars by Mary Roach – ***1/2
The Calvin and Hobbes Tenth Anniversary Book by Bill Watterson – *****

April 2012

Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy by John Le Carre – ***
Pronto by Elmore Leonard – ***
A Model World and Other Stories by Michael Chabon – ***
A Storm of Swords by George RR Martin – ****

March 2012

A Clash of Kings by George RR Martin – ****
Jeeves in the Offing by PG Wodehouse – ****
Chew, Volume 3: Just Desserts by John Layman and Rob Guillory – ****
The Fall by Guillermo del Toro, Chuck Hogan – ***

February 2012

Ichi the Killer, Tome III by Hidéo Yamamoto – ***
Chew, Volume 2: International Flavor by John Layman and Rob Guillory – ***1/2

January 2012

Under the Banner of Heaven by Jon Krakauer – ***
31 Songs by Nick Hornby – ****
Ichi the Killer, Tome II by Hidéo Yamamoto – ***
American Hitch-hiker by Jeremy McGill
Orlando Bloom Has Ruined Everything: A FoxTrot Collection by Bill Amend – ***
Chew, Vol. 1: Taster’s Choice by John Layman and Rob Guillory – ****

Total Books Read in 2012: 41

December 2011

The Invention of Hugo Cabret by Brian Selznick – *****
Shakespeare: The World a Stage by Bill Bryson – ****
Old Boy, Vol 3 by Garon Tsuchiya and Nobuaki Minegishi – ****
Ichi the Killer, Tome I by Hidéo Yamamoto – ***
The Killing Man by Mickey Spillane – **
Casino by Nicholas Pileggi – ***1/2
Nightwatch by Sergei Lukyanenko, Andrew Bromfield (Translator) – ***

November 2011

Wiseguy by Nicholas Pileggi – ****
Blood’s a Rover by James Ellroy – **
God Bless You, Mr. Rosewater by Kurt Vonnegut – ****
The Inimitable Jeeves by PG Wodehouse – ****

October 2011
The Kurosagi Corpse Delivery Service, Vol. 2 by Eiji Otsurka & Kousui Yamazaki – ***
Bloom County Babylon by Berke Breathed – ****
It’s a Magical World by Bill Watterson – *****
Juliet, Naked by Nick Hornby – ***
Game of Thrones by George RR Martin – ****
September 2011
Old Boy, Vol 2 by Garon Tsuchiya and Nobuaki Minegishi – ****
Tales Too Ticklish to Tell by Berke Breathed – ****
Zits by Jerry Scott and Jim Borgman – ***

August 2011

Spook by Mary Roach – ***
Galápagos by Kurt Vonnegut – ***
Billy and the Boingers Bootleg by Berke Breathed – ****
Y: The Last Man, Book 10 – Whys and Wherefores by Brian K. Vaughan & Pia Guerra – ****

June 2011

The Strain by Guillermo del Toro and Chuck Hogan – ***
Enormously Foxtrot by Bill Amend – **

May 2011

Batman: The Widening Gyre by Kevin Smith – **
Oldboy, Vol. 1 by Garon Tsuchiya & Nobuaki Mingegishi – ****
Penguin Dreams and Stranger Things by Berke Breathed – ****
The Kurosagi Corpse Delivery Service (Volume 1) by Eiji Otsuka, Housui Yamazaki – ****

April 2011

100 Bullets: First Shot, Last Call by Brian Azzarello and Eduardo Risso – ***
The Walking Dead Vol. 1: Days Gone By by Robert Kirkman – ***
Fear and Loathing: On the Campaign Trail ’72 by Hunter S. Thompson – ****
Ladies Man by Richard Price – **1/2

March 2011

A Death in Belmont by Sebastian Junger – ***1/2
Wired: The Short Life and Fast Times of John Belushi by Bob Woodward – ***
The Lost Symbol by Dan Brown – *
Y: The Last Man, Book 9 – Motherland by Brian K. Vaughan & Pia Guerra – ***1/2

February 2011

Girl with the Dragon Tattoo by Stieg Larsson – **

January 2011

When You Are Engulfed in Flames by David Sedaris – ****
Y: The Last Man, Book 9 – Kimono Dragons by Brian K. Vaughan & Pia Guerra – ***1/2
Ignorance, They Name is Bucky by Darby Conley – ****

Books read in 2011: 41

December 2010

Stiff by Mary Roach – ****
Jailbird by Kurt Vonnegut – ***1/2
The Spiderwick Chronicles: Vol 5, The Wrath of Mulgarath by Tony DiTerlizzi & Holly Black – ***
Tin Tin and the Blue Lotus by Herge – ***
Down Under By Bill Bryson – ****

November 2010

Deliverance by James Dickey – ****

October 2010

Devil in a Blue Dress by Walter Mosley – **

September 2010

Snuff by Chuck Palahniuk – **
Reading Lolita in Tehran by Azar Nafisi – ***1/2
Handling the Undead by John Ajvide Lindqvist – ***

August 2010

Night by Elie Weisel
Trainspotting by Irvine Welsh – ****
Mystic River by Dennis Lehane – ****
Fer-De-Lance by Rex Stout – ***
Reading 10,000 Books by Peggy Pate-Smith

July 2010

Y: The Last Man – Paper Dolls – ***
Y: The Last Man – Girl on Girl by Brian K. Vaughan & Pia Guerra – ***

June 2010

Y: The Last Man – Ring of Truth by Brian K. Vaughan & Pia Guerra – ***1/2
The Losers, Book One by Andy Diggle & Jock – ***
The Crow by JO Barr – **1/2
Y: The Last Man, Vol. 2 (Deluxe Edition) Brian K. Vaughan & Pia Guerra – ****

May 2010

Contact by Carl Sagan – ****
Red Harvest by Dashiell Hammett – *****

April 2010

Dead Until Dark by Charlaine Harris – **

March 2010

Neither Here Nor There by Bill Bryson – **1/2
God Bless You, Dr. Kavorkian by Kurt Vonnegut, Jr. – ***
Arkham Asylum: A Serious House on Serious Earth by Grant Morrison & Dave McKean – ***1/2
The Road by Cormac McCarthy – ****1/2
The Continental Op by Dashiell Hammett – ****
Speaker for the Dead by Orson Scott Card – ***
Y: The Last Man – Cycle by Brian K Vaughan & Pia Guerra – ****

February 2010

Love is a Mix Tape by Rob Sheffield – ***
Clockers by Richard Price – *****
Ender’s Game by Orson Scott Card – ***1/2

January 2010

Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas by Hunter S. Thompson – ****

Books read in 2010: 35

December 2009

Y: The Last Man, Book 1: Unmanned by Brian K Vaughan & Pia Guerra – ****1/2
Batman: The Killing Joke By Alan Moore, Brian Bollard & John Higgins – *****
Pagan Babies by Elmore Leonard – ****

September 2009

Tishimingo Blues by Elmore Leonard – ***1/2
Bedroom Secrets of the Master Chefs by Irvine Welsh – **
Down and Out in Paris and London by George Orwell – ****1/2

August 2009

World War II by C.L. Sulzberger – ***1/2
Night by Elie Wiesel – *****

July

I Am Legend by Richard Matheson – ****
A Walk in the Woods by Bill Bryson – ****
Deadeye Dick by Kurt Vonnegut – ***

June

The Cheese Monkeys by Chip Kidd – **1/2
The Spy Who Came in From the Cold by John le Carré – ****
Gold Coast by Elmore Leonard – **

May

A Long Way Gone by Ishmael Beah – ****
30 Days of Night, Book 3: Return to Barrow by Steve Niles & Ben Templesmith – ***1/2
Fletch and the Widow Bradley by Gregory McDonald – **1/2
The Corner by David Simon and Ed Burns – ****1/2
The Yiddish Policemen’s Union by Michael Chabon – ****1/2
30 Days of Night, Book 2: Dark Days by Steve Niles and Ben Templesmith – ****

April

The Spiderwick Chronicles, Vol. 4: The Ironwood Tree by Tony Diterlizzi and Holly Black – ***
Family Values (Sin City, Book 5) by Frank Miller – **
Welcome to Hoxford by Ben Templesmith – ***
30 Days of Night by Steve Niles and Ben Templesmith – ***1/2
Robot Visions by Isaac Asimov – ****
The Spiderwick Chronicles, Vol. 3: Lucinda’s Secret by Tony Diterlizzi and Holly Black – ***1/2

March

The Spiderwick Chronicles, Vol. 2 – The Seeing Stone by Tony Diterlizzi and Holly Black – ****
The Spiderwick Chronicles, Vol. 1 – The Field Guide by Tony DiTerlizzi and Holly Black – ****
Stardust by Neil Gaiman – ***

February 2009

Slam by Nick Hornby – **1/2
Batman: Year One by Frank Miller – ****

January 2009

Rum Punch by Elmore Leonard – ****
Out of Sight by Elmore Leonard – ***1/2
Batman: The Dark Knight Returns by Frank Miller – ****

Total Books Read in 2009: 33

December 2008

Baby Shark by Robert Fate – ***
Books by Larry McMurtry – *1/2
Fletch by Gregory MacDonald – ***1/2
Freakonomics by Steven D. Levitt and Stephen J. Dubner (Audiobook) – ***1/2

November 2008

October 2008

White Jazz by James Ellroy – **1/2
Killshot by Elmore Leonard – ****
Baby Shark’s High Plains Redemption by Robert Fate – ***1/2

September 2008

Watchmen – ****1/2
Into Thin Air by Jon Krakauer – ***1/2
Remains of the Day by Kazuo Ishiguro – ****

August 2008

Homicide by David Simon – *****

July 2008

Freaky Deaky by Elmore Leonard – ***1/2
Surviving the Killing Fields by Haing Ngor – ****

June 2008

A Scanner Darkly by Phillip K. Dick – ***
Devil in the White City by Erik Larson – **1/2

May 2008

Summer Lightning by P.G. Wodehouse – ***1/2
The Stand by Stephen King – ***1/2
No Country for Old Men Cormac McCarthy – ****

April 2008

The Witches by Roald Dahl – ***1/2
Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close by Jonathan Safran Foer – ****
Into the Wild by Jon Krakauer – ***

March 2008

The Three Musketeers by Alexandre Dumas – ***1/2

February 2008

George’s Marvelous Medicine by Roald Dahl – ****
The Complete Polysyllabic Spree by Nick Hornby – ****
The Hot Kid by Elmore Leonard – ****1/2
The Motorcycle Diaries by Ernesto “Che” Guevera – **1/2
The Bridge to Terabithia by Catherine Patterson – ***
Mirrormask by Neil Gaiman – Audiobook – ***

January 2008
Chew on This by Eric Schlosser and Charles Wilson – **

Total Books Read in 2008: 29

31 Songs by Nick Hornby
Bridget Jones Diary by Helen Feilding
The Shipping News by E Annie Proulx
The Corrections by John Franzen
Lady in the Lake by Raymond Chandler
The High Window by Raymond Chandler
Fox Fire by Joyce Carol Oates
All Around this Town by Mary Higgins Clark
Glass Key by Dashielle Hammett
Bourne Identity by Robert Ludlum
The Idiot Girl’s Action Adventure Club by Laurie Notaro
Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov
Murder on the Orient Express by Agatha Christie
Me and Mr. Albert by Michael Paterniti
Girl with the Pearl Earing by Tracy Chevalier
Trance State by John Case

Read in 2005

Playback by Raymond Chandler
Death on the Nile by Agatha Christie
A Year in Provence by Peter Mayle ***

Peter Mayles account of his first year in the South of France. It is filled with humerous accounts of the locals, rebuilding his house and delicious meals. He describes the French cuisine like art. Nearly every page leaves your belly rumbling and mouth watering.

Forrest Gump by Winston Groom **

A few months back I watched the movie again and was well underwhelmed by my memory of how magical it was. The book didn’t do much to bolster my opinion. The plot is similar even if it differs in many places. Forrest is very much the idiot sevant, but his adventures are mostly different. The book is funny in many places, and several times I laughed out loud. However, it fell short in trying to make me care about the characters or in its attempt at satire.

Me Talk Pretty One Day by David Sedaris ****

This was my second time reading this book. If anything it has proven even funnier the second time. Sedaris has an eye for detail and a way of finding humor and insight in the sordid details of his life. It is so hard to distinguish where his reality ends and fantasy begins. And surely there is some fantasy for some the stories he tells are so bizarre they have to be made up. Having now spent 4 months in France and dealt with trying to understand the culture and the language, I found the essays on France to be the most interesting. There are pages of texts where I laughed out loud, read again with tears rolling down my cheeks, then sought out my wife so I could read them to her and laugh all over again.

Animal Farm by George Orwell ****

This was kind of a reverse ‘negative utopia,’ for animals. That is to say, here the characters begin their story by creating a real utopia, but in true Orwell fashion, that utopia is slowly destroyed and a darker, crueler world arises. Not nearly as good as 1984, this is never-the-less classic stuff. I can’t help but root for the characters in Orwells writing knowing full well that it won’t turn out good for them. This, still manages to crush my spirits by books end.

Rabbit Redux by John Updike ***

3/4ths of this is very good. It sinks somewhere in the middle with a lot of dialogue about race issues. I understand that the characters need to undergo change. But do you have to give me 40 odd pages of dialogue for me to understand that change? The rest of the novel is pure Updike. Harry “Rabbit” Angstrom is back 10 years after the events of Rabbit, Run. He is still the American everyman. And still very much without a clue about his life. Choosing to allow life to happen to him, rather than make a choice. There is a social commentary weaved into the commentary, this time pinned into the fabric at the tumultous end of the 60s. It’s weaved a little too thick here, in some places, so that it feels more like a treatice than the background for a good story.

The Adventures of Kavalier and Clay by Michael Chabon ****

I started reading this book in February or March of 2003. For one reason or another I was only a couple of hundred pages into it when it was due back to the library. As is usual with me, I decided to give up reading it and turn it in, rather than recheck it. This is not a comment on the quality of the read, but rather a quirk in my own existense. I was fairly busy at the time and I figured that if I only made it through 200 pages in the first three weeks, another three weeks wouldn’t get me to the end of this 636 paged tome. Finding it in the library here, I decided to pick it back up. I’m glad I did, and grateful I managed to finnish it this time.

Chabon has created a magical book. Slightly based on the history of the comic book, and partly a fictional account of a small group of Jews during the atrocities of Hitler. Though, as Chabon admits, he chooses to ignore facts and history as it suits his story. It is the story of the friendship between Joe Kavalier and Sam Clay. The story begins with Joe having fled Nazi run Prague for the comforts of his cousin, Sam’s comfortable apartment in Brooklyn. They quickly become great friends and enter into the burgeoning comic book world.

Chabon writes beautifully crafted sentence that course forwards and bacwards through time to tell a multi-faceted story. His pen pauses in moments of time during the present and pulls the reader into a back story of Prague, the Kavaliers and comic books. Joe Kavalier’s story is beautifully told, encompassing a stint as a magician and escape artists before travling from Prague to New York by way of Asia and California. The story of how Joe traveled to New York by way of a golem filled box is hilarious, frightening and poignant. For the first 2/3s of the book, Chabon’s pen doesn’t let the reader down from it’s magnificent begining.

Yet it is about 2/3s of the way in, that the story begins to faulter. In an effort to tell a grand, epic story, Chabon treads beyond the beautifully told past, and magnificent present, into a less than glorious future. Seeing his characters rise from humble, troubled beginings to a stellar, triumphant present, only to have them fall again was a mistake. It’s not so much the fall that hurts the story but the rushed way it is told. The novel moves at a slow pace, giving many sumpuous details and never minding to slip into the past for a revealing story. Yet, when it moves to the future it seems to force things along. You can feel the writer telling his story to point towards his final concluding point, rather than just allow the story to unfold. To really flesh out the future section he would have needed another few hundred pages. I would have preferred him to wrap up the story leaving out the future scenes. He does manage to salvage the conclusion and bring his characters into fully realized beings.

Double Indemnity by James M Cain ****

Of the great trinity of American crime fiction (Dashiel Hammett, Raymond Chandler, and Cain) James M Cain is the only one who told his story from the perspective of the criminal rather than the detective. Just as you know in a detective novel that the detective is going to catch the crook, here you know Cain’s criminals are going to be caught. But that doesn’t make you root for them any less. They are sad, pathetic, often cruel and yet strangely sympathetic. Double Indemnity’s lonely insurance man is a schmuck, but there is an everyman charm in his guillibility. Cain writes it as if anybody; your neighbor, brother, or even yourself is just a sly woman away from committing murder and fraud. Tough, gritty and beautiful.

Diary by Chuck Palahniuk * 1/2
Serenade by James M Cain **
How to Be Good by Nick Hornby * 1/2
Phantom of the Opera by Gaston Leroux *** 1/2
The Hound of The Baskervilles by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle ***
Nightmare Town by Dashiell Hammett **1/2
Jane Eyre by Chalotte Bronte ****1/2
The Little Sisterby Raymond Chandler ****
I Am Charlotte Simmons by Tom Wolfe ***1/2
Slaughterhouse Five by Kurt Vonnegut Jr *****
Everything Is Illuminated by Jonathan Safran Foer ***1/2
For Whom the Bell Tolls by Ernest Hemingway *****
American Tabloid by James Elroy ***1/2
The African Queen by CS Forester **
The Simpsons One Step Beyond Forever: A Complete Guide to Our Favorite Family…Continued Again

Mardi Malade

Originally posted on December 14, 2004.

Living’s mostly wasting time
And I waste my share of mine
But it never feels too good
So let’s not take too long
You’re as soft as glass and I’m a gentle man
We got the sky to talk about
And the world to lie upon

–Townes Van Zandt

A late update today. I’ve been rather ill most of the day and have not felt like writing much. I did manage to do quite a bit of reading, watching a lot of old Simpsons episodes, and do a lot of napping. It’s a hard life, I know.

I’ve always been a bit of a voyeur. Not in the dirty, peeping kind of way. I find myself looking into lighted windows, watching people pass me by, and studying others while in a restaurant or store. I find the behavior of others utterly fascinating.

I still remember standing in line at Wet n Wild or Universal Studios in Orlando, FL when I was 14 or 15 and being amazed at all the people. There were gobs, and gobs of people everywhere. We would stand in line and I remember thinking, as I stared at the same people in front and behind of me, that this is the only moment in my life I would ever see these people. But they all obviously had their own lives.

It was a profound moment for me to realize that the world is full of people and I will never know in the mildest sort of way. Since then, I guess, I’ve always liked to watch others when they don’t think they are being watched. These days as I look out my window and catch glimpses of others in the apartment across the street I find myself thinking of language. The people over there are just like everyone else, more or less, but I realize that if I could hear what they were saying, if I was that fly on the wall, I would have no idea what they were talking about. Oh, I might catch a word or two, I might gather some gist through gestures and will, but mostly I would just sit confused.

If there is anything I have learned in France thus far it is the utter complexity of language. I speak, in English, every day without thinking about it. Words fly off the tongue and they are gone, meanings are grasped but the words disappear. Yet every day I hear people speaking in French and have no idea what they are saying. I know those strange words have meaning for others to understand and respond to, but it’s like some old mystical song to me. Like that scene in Shawshank Redemption where Tim Robbins plays the bit from the opera. It’s like the words are a cryptic puzzle and I’m missing the key.

I suppose I am learning little pieces of the language at a very slow pace. It’s amazing how nervous I am when trying to speak it to others. Last night I had my French lesson in a Subway. After Ann bought her sandwich I went over to buy myself a drink. I was literally nervous about ordering a Coke. I didn’t even have to ask for it politely, pointing towards the can on the shelf and saying “Coca” would suffice. But I had no buffer with me.

I feared that the lady behind the counter would not be satisfied with my simple order and may ask for more information. Or that she may be friendly and ask about my family, where I was from, or any number of pleasantries. I don’t want to appear as some rude American who refuses to say “I’m fine thanks, and you?” Relations between our countries are difficult enough without me adding to the trouble. What if she asks if I want a sandwich a bag of chips and a cookie? My usual response to French I don’t understand is to smile and nod politely, this could be confused as acceptance of an order I can’t possibly afford. When I finally did order the Coke the two ladies whispered to each other, pointed upstairs to where Ann was and then one spoke in English, “You get free refills with the meal.” Referring to the meal Ann had ordered. I explained I wanted a Coke for myself and somehow felt let down that I had not been challenged with the language.